Improving My Ability to Forbear Amidst Work Conflicts
(Minghui.org) I worked as a housing assignment manager of housing provided to a company's employees and their families. This kind of job is very sensitive and complicated, as it is related to every employee's personal interest. I had encountered lots of conflicts and things that did not go smoothly. But, as I am a Falun Dafa practitioner and live by the principles Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I have treated all of it as opportunities to cultivate my heart and mind.
When my employer assigned new housing, a female manager who had several children applied for one. I talked with my manager and suggested that if we could not provide her a larger place, maybe we could give her another small one to ease the crowded situation in her home.
However, she was not assigned a new apartment. She was angry, came to my office, and pointed her finger at me in front of many people and said, besides many harsh words, “It was you who didn't want me to get a new apartment.”
I did not want to get angry and knew that I must endure this. But, she did not want to listen, became even angrier and said terrible things that were difficult for me to hear. I was not able to endure and started to argue with her. Eventually, I became even nastier than her.
I knew that I was wrong, but could not control my temper. I felt very anxious afterward. I thought, “Everyone in the office knows that I'm a practitioner and am supposed to be a good person. But in this conflict, I was even worse than an ordinary person.” I felt very ashamed.
“So be sure to remember this: Whenever you come across anything such as troubles, unpleasant things, or friction with others, you need to examine yourself and search within. You will find the cause of that insurmountable problem.” (Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
I asked myself, “I am a veteran practitioner. Why can't I get through this kind of conflict?” I then realized that, even though I had studied and memorized Zhuan Falun, I did not focus on improving my xinxing. I did not study the Fa solidly and thus often failed to pass tests.
From then on, besides studying the Fa a lot, I also ensured that I understood the Fa principles and did everything based on Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
“Study the Fa and gain the Fa,Focus on how you study and cultivate,Let each and every thingbe measured against the Fa.Only then, with that,is it actually cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation” from Hong Yin)
When I studied the Fa without any notions, I was able to get into a space in which I felt that I was strengthened by an energy field and my mind was tranquil and focused. The more I studied, the I more I wanted to study and the better I felt.
Treating Everything as a Good Thing
The female manager told everybody how bad and unfair I had been. Many of my kind co-workers told me what she had said about me. I was clear that these issues were testing my xinxing. I treated everything as a good thing and an opportunity to improve.
When we were going through housing allocations I did not dwell on what had happened before and tried to help the female manager. She was finally able to get a new and larger apartment. After that, she started to say good things about me.
Then, I went to Beijing to appeal for the right to practice Falun Dafa but was arrested and taken back to my city. Because I refused to write the three statements, I had to attend brainwashing sessions and was detained in my workplace and detention centers.
The higher level managers in my workplace could not withstand the pressure from the officials and stopped paying me. I was told that the female manager stood up for me, thus I was not further persecuted.
I realized that forbearance is not something that one just talks about. We must fully understand it based on the Fa. Only when our xinxing improves are we able to truly forbear.
Treating Conflict with Dignity
I was tasked with an expedited housing certification report. It was going to be quite a lot of work.
Shao, another project director, asked me to get him a personal housing property certificate, which required visiting three departments and getting five official seals. It would take a lot of time and I would have to put off my current task. My department manager did not release me from my present task, so Shao tried to bribe me, but I refused to accept it.
He got very angry and accosted me in my office, so I asked him to accompany me to the department manager's office. While waiting in the manager's office Shao continued to curse at me. A staff member came in and tried to calm Shao down and gave us some water. Shao then stood up and poured the water over me.
I followed a cultivator's standard and did not get angry. Then a number of managers came in and I explained the situation to them. One of the managers asked Shao to go with him and before he left, Shao kicked my leg in front of all these people. I felt pity for him, and told myself, “I am a cultivator. I must follow a high standard. I cannot fight with an ordinary person.”
My manager came to see me and told me that they talked about it in today's meeting and everyone admired my ability to forbear. Everyone said that only a Dafa practitioner could react like this.
But it was not finished yet. Shao's wife began to call or text me almost every night to curse at me. The words she used were very nasty and offensive. Master told us, “Of course, we can explain the matter kindly, and it is not a problem if we clarify the issue. But you should not become too attached to it.” (Zhuan Falun) Each time, I just tried to explain things to her with kind words. This lasted for over a month.
After Shao got the certificate, he tried to avoid me. I could tell that he was embarrassed. I took the initiative to greet him and he replied in a low voice. Since then, he no longer avoided me. Master told us that cultivators have no enemies. I still need to help him quit the CCP when I have the opportunity.
Conflicts Among People Eliminate Karma
Before this occurrence, my legs hurt a lot when I did the sitting meditation. But afterward, they didn't hurt anymore, even if I sat for over an hour. When I studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts, or did the exercises, my mind was always clear. Especially when I did the meditation, I felt wonderful and comfortable, as if I was sitting inside an eggshell. I felt an energy field right above my head and my mind was very quiet,
From this, I understood that because we cultivate in the ordinary society, it is hard to eliminate karma and improve ourselves without conflicts among people. When we encounter conflicts, if we can look inside, be patient and tolerant, and use it as an opportunity to cultivate, then we will be able to improve our xinxing and resolve the conflicts. Our cultivation will be the most solid this way.