My Husband Has Really Changed
(Minghui.org) My husband has changed a lot over the years, from being scared and opposed to me practicing Falun Dafa to supporting me; from being timid to daring to demand my release by reasoning with the police and judiciary; and from being overly attached to his own side of the family to speaking out for justice for Falun Gong. “I know that the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) is deceiving people. It’s been cheating people since the day it was established,” he said. “I now have peace of mind because I have seen through it.”
I have been cultivating Dafa for 20 years now, and the longer I cultivate, the more I appreciate the precious time our revered Master has, at his enormous sacrifice, extended for us. We must cherish everything Master has given us, do the three things well, and save more people. I would like to share with you how my husband has changed.
Cultivating Well in Daily Life and Improving My Xinxing
My husband is from the South of China, but after he graduated from university, he was assigned a job in the Northeast. I felt that his heart was always with his relatives back in his hometown. His elder brother lived in the country and was poor, so when his nephew was attending high school, my husband paid his school fees and living expenses out of his own salary, but he never bothered to pick up our own child from school after evening studies. By and by, I started to resent him.
My husband often complained about his sore back and legs. To make life a bit easier for him, I took out a loan and purchased a bigger house. However, on the day of the settlement, he took the train back to his hometown to accompany his nephew to university. He also took 10,000 yuan. I was really annoyed, thinking: “When I need money and help most, he goes away for peace and quiet, leaving me to handle all the renovations. He is so irresponsible when it comes to our family.”
After the house was all fixed up, he made it difficult for me again by refusing to move in. I knew it was because he was embarrassed because he had not contributed much to our new house. We had to lean on him a few times before he agreed to move in. I was about 10,000 yuan short for the loan, but when I asked him for help, he demanded I give him a receipt. I really didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.
When it came to washing the dishes, he had his own method that involved just soaking them. He never washed them, just soaked them in water. I didn’t like that, so we often ended up quarreling over something so trivial.
One day, I thought: “I’m a Dafa practitioner. I shouldn’t argue like this.” After that, when he soaked the dishes, I would just quietly wash them.
My husband also had a habit of soaking dirty clothes instead of washing them, and sometimes he soaked them for three or five days. Even though I didn’t say anything, I was complaining inside.
In his spare time, he would either sleep or go on a walk instead of doing any household chores. My younger sister thought it was unfair and said to me, “You shouldn't let him get away with that. Don’t wash his clothes. You earn more than he does and you're younger. Why do you spoil him like that?”
I knew that everything that happened to me was for my cultivation. He was like a mirror that reflected all my attachments, such as feeling I was being treated unfairly. I was also combative, jealous, and so on. I made up my mind to let go of all these attachments.
When encountering xinxing tests, instead of arguing with my husband like I did in the past, I remembered to hold compassion in my heart and treated him with kindness. I rectified myself with the Fa principles first and let go of all those human attachments to saving face, fame and gain, undue sentiments, and resentments.
Even though my husband knew that Dafa was good, past experiences had left him decidedly fearful of the CCP. When he was little, his father was labeled a “rightist,” and the political purges cast a shadow over the rest of his life. When the persecution of Falun Gong started in July 1999, he was so scared that he wanted me to leave home and hide somewhere. “Where shall I hide?” I asked him. “Home is the safest place. I’m not afraid. What are you afraid of?”
Once, while I was studying the Fa, he came in, grabbed my book, and started ripping it up. Another time, a fellow practitioner came to see me. Just as she was leaving, my husband came home. He was very rude and told her not to come again.
Later I thought: “Dafa is both compassionate and dignified. I should not let my husband treat practitioners like that.” So I said to him quietly but in a way that he knew I was serious: “How can you talk to people that way? She is the mother of one of my students and one of our upstairs neighbors. It is very normal for her to come for a visit. As a well-mannered host, you should treat our guests politely. If you disrespect my guest, you disrespect me.” He listened and did not say a word. Later, when another practitioner came to help me set up my computer, my husband was very friendly and even cooked us a nice meal.
NTDTV Helped My Husband Change His Outlook
I was very aware that my husband had been brainwashed by the Party culture. I realized that, to help him, I must first of all rectify myself. I paid attention to looking inward whenever conflicts arose and stopped harboring any feelings of resentment or need to look down upon others.
At the same time, I cleaned out our home thoroughly. I tore up and burned all the books and newspapers with the CCP culture, including a page in my graduation certificate that had a quotation by Mao on it. I also smashed and threw away all the badges with Mao’s portrait.
In 2008, I installed a receiver to access NTDTV programs. Gradually, my husband's outlook changed fundamentally. These days, the first thing he does in the morning is to switch on the TV set and watch NTDTV programs. He has become a new person. He takes his family responsibilities seriously and does household chores so that I can have more time to do the three things.
Standing Up for Justice of Falun Gong
I was illegally arrested in 2012. My husband hired a lawyer for me and read a lot of books on law. He was no longer afraid and went to reason with the police, the court, the Procuratorate, and even the local 610 Office, which usually acts behind the scenes.
When he finally got to the 610 Office, my husband said, “So there is indeed such an office. It seems that what Falun Gong says about you is true. The persecution of Falun Gong is illegal!”
My husband wrote letters of appeal to the People’s Congress, the Appeals Office, and the police and legal departments, telling them that practicing Falun Gong is legal and that the practice has been wrongly persecuted. When he visited me in jail, he said to the guards, “She stands by her faith. If you forced her to give up her belief, she would suffer for the rest of her life!”
Falun Gong practitioners’ family members can play a very positive role. Because my husband did not cooperate with the authorities, I wasn't unduly pressured while in detention. In the end, no one even tried to “transform” me. I also kept calling for justice for Falun Gong.
On the day of my release, my husband refused to sign a 610 Office form. He said to the man who worked in the 610 Office, “Young man, why don't you do something else? Don’t get involved in this sort of immoral business.”
My husband refused to sign the form, and they couldn’t do anything about it. In the end, I got in our car and we drove home.
I would like to thank all my fellow practitioners for their help. I would also like to thank practitioners outside of China who made phone calls to support me. Since I returned home, my husband has become even more supportive of my practicing Falun Gong.
Helping Fellow Practitioners' Families
I met a fellow practitioner in jail, who is still incarcerated. I thought about her family a lot around New Year's and decided to pay them a visit.
I prepared a big bag of rice and a container of cooking oil and asked my husband to go with me as they were pretty heavy.
My husband was very happy to come along and did a great job. He said to the practitioner’s husband, “Your wife practices Falun Gong. She is a good person and has not violated any law. Tell your wife that she has been treated unjustly and has done nothing wrong. Tell her this and she will have more confidence.”
He also told the husband to say the same to the police: “Tell them your wife has been wronged. Don’t be afraid of them. You need to be firm, strong, and straightforward. The police are the ones who will be scared.”
The practitioner’s husband was very touched and kept saying, “Your visit has really made my day! I’ve suffered a lot the last few years. Our daughter could not find a job and she is still single. I’m under a lot of pressure. Our relatives keep us at arm's length. You are so nice and have come a long way to see me.”
I encouraged him to visit his wife: “No matter how busy you are, you must go and visit your wife. She is being kept in jail illegally. Your visit will give her moral support even if you don’t say anything.”
He told us that his boss would not give him a day off to visit his wife, had tried to get him to divorce his wife, and had even tried to introduce him to another woman, but he refused to meet her. “I won’t do that. My wife is a good person.”
I encouraged him and said, “You are doing good things and you will be rewarded with good returns. It is Jiang Zemin that has persecuted you. You should blame Jiang Zemin.”
He seemed to have enlightened to something and said, “You’re right. I will go and reason with the head of the prison tomorrow. I won’t let them off the hook should anything bad happen to my wife!”
After we said goodbye to him, we went to visit another practitioner, who lived alone with her son ever since her husband had been illegally incarcerated. She looked soft and weak but was actually very strong. She told us that she visited her husband every month even though she worked full time and had to take care of their son.
She told us that she went to different police and legal departments to clarify the truth about Falun Gong and had written many letters to try to get her husband out. My husband said to her encouragingly, “We really admire your courage.” She thanked us for paying her a visit and walked a long way to see us off.
After we got home, I thanked my husband for his help: “You did so well today and said such appropriate things. It went much better than if I'd gone on my own. Thank you very much.” My husband was very pleased to hear me compliment him.
In fact, my husband does observe some very good traditional values. He is always respectful of old people and never gets involved in unsavory pastimes, such as excessive dining or drinking, gambling, and visiting prostitutes. I respect him for his good virtues.
A “Mobile Media Outlet”
My husband watches NTDTV and reads The Epoch Times online every day. He also reads truth-clarification periodicals. He often goes to parks and talk with people, telling them that Mao's “ideology” was no more than a combination of Western Marxist ideology and outlaw theories, and that landlords were the legal owners of their lands and their farmhands worked for them on contract. But the CCP took away their lands and killed them. Quite a few professors, school principals, and students enjoyed listening to him because what he said was something they had never heard before.
When people asked him where he got his information, he would say, “Don't ask me where I learned all this. Just tell me if what I said is reasonable.” When people asked him if he practiced Falun Gong, he would say, “There is nothing illegal about practicing Falun Gong, but I don't even know how to do the physical exercises everybody does, not to mention the Falun Gong exercises!”
When he attended a reunion of his former high school classmates, they commented on how brave he was to say those things out in the open. He told them he was not afraid at all and joked that he was a “mobile media outlet.”
My husband has also been rewarded with blessings. He feels he is getting younger and younger, with very healthy black hair. He used to be slightly deaf, but he can now hear very clearly. His heart condition also disappeared.
I'm very grateful to our revered Master for guiding us in our cultivation and for his kind protection of our family members.