Our Family Members' Attitudes Reflect Our Cultivation
(Minghui.org) My mother-in-law lives with us. I made lunch for her one day last spring. She thought I had already left the house and complained loudly, “You've given me bread, but you're saving the buns for yourself.” She also cursed me.
Earlier, she complained that the buns I made that day were not good. I know she likes bread, so that's why I gave her bread instead of the buns. (Editor's note: in Shandong, buns are usually more expensive than bread.)
I knew that she thought I had left, and I didn't want to embarrass her so, I quietly left.
I wasn't upset at first, but after a while I felt so wronged that I almost cried. I knew I should not be emotionally moved. I recalled Master's teaching:
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance?” Essentials for Further Advancement)
While I pondered this, I felt my forbearance enlarging, and some bad substances left me. I felt relaxed.
I started to look inward for the reason this happened. Sometimes when my husband complained about my cooking, his mother took his side. Although I never argued with them, I was upset and even became resentful. I've never been completely able to accept criticism.
I remembered that before I started practicing, I often cursed her when I argued with my husband. This created karma which I needed to pay off.
When I told another practitioner about what happened she said that I had treated the situation like a practitioner: my mother-in-law cursed me, but I pretended not to hear it because I didn't want to embarrass her.
Because I eliminated the attachment and improved my xinxing, I now get along with my mother-in-law.
“Has it occurred to you that everything in your daily life is part of cultivation? Your every word and action, and everything you do—all of it is part of your cultivation. Do you realize that?” ( Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day)
I realized that our family members are watching how we behave and what we say. When we cultivate well, they will be supportive of Dafa, and even tell others that Falun Dafa is good.
My husband's sister suffered from cardiovascular diseases since she was a child. She went to a hospital twice a year, and every time I took care of her.
Last July, she was hospitalized again, and I stayed with her during the day. Because she was sick, we turned off the air conditioner. She sweat a lot, and I washed her every day. I also emptied her bedpan. The other patients in the room thought that I was her sister. When they learned that she was my sister-in-law they were amazed that I took such good care of her.
I told them that I practice Falun Dafa, and I follow the teachings to be a good person. My sister-in-law told them that I was very kind and compassionate. One of them said, “Falun Dafa practitioners are great. You're very kind.”
Before my sister-in-law passed away, she thanked me. I told her to thank Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa).
My sister-in-law tried to convince my husband to divorce me at the beginning of the persecution. If I did not practice Falun Dafa I definitely would have complained and refused to take care of her. Had I not practiced Falun Dafa, I would not be able to handle everything so compassionately. Instead I forgave her and took good care of her before she passed away. My husband was very grateful.
At the beginning of the persecution in 1999, my husband was scared and tried to force me to give up practicing. I firmly refused. He said, “Fine. You can practice, but you can only practice at home, and you cannot have contact with other practitioners.” He was unhappy when they visited me. Later I said to him, “You never greet the other practitioners. When they say 'Hello' to you, you ignore them.” I finally realized that the reason he was not supportive was because I hadn't thoroughly clarified the truth to him.
At social events when I tried to talk to his friends and co-workers about Falun Dafa and quitting the communist party, he often tried to stop me.
Over the last few years, I've talked to him about Falun Dafa. I also told him why I keep trying to convince his friends to quit the Party. He finally agreed that I was trying to help them.
Later, I overheard him telling one of his friends, “Falun Dafa is amazing. My wife no longer loses her temper and she never gets sick.” I saw that he had grown to truly respect Falun Dafa.