Starting Point and Standards of Looking Within
(Minghui.org) My recent conflicts with one family member made me enlighten to some understandings. This family member is also a Dafa practitioner.
At first, he always found fault with me because my way of doing things carefully was not consistent with his way of doing things carelessly. He was sarcastic toward me and said he would give me a hard time to help me practice cultivation.
I endured this and forced myself not to fight back. I thought, “You are not as eloquent as me, so you could never compete with me in this respect. I thought I was following Master's teachings, “Don't argue when people argue with you,” (“Don't Argue” from Hong Yin III) and pompously acted like I forgave him instead of arguing with him.
When he said that he would give me a hard time to help me practice cultivation, I thought, “It's ridiculous! You help me practice cultivation? Once I elevate in cultivation, how about yourself?”
Several days passed. In that time, I thought that I was right and had done a good job of staying calm. However, I was not aware that my thoughts included a fighting mentality, jealousy, complaining, hatred, looking down upon others, and other attachments. I didn't look within at all.
He was mad at me over everything. He said that I had treated him badly in previous lives, so I owed him and should repay him. This exhausted me both physically and mentally. Despair filled my mind.
Suddenly, I became alert and started looking inside. His unreasonable behavior made me so attached to his faults. Though I had looked inside before, I didn't find my real problems. I realized that I had stayed at a certain level for a long time and had no new understandings even though I continued to study the Fa. I let go of all vexations, settled downed, and studied the Fa in tranquility.
As I studied the Fa, I found that I didn't know how to look inside. First, my starting point was wrong because I looked within in order to solve the problem; second, my standards were too low.
I looked within according to the standards of a good person. For instance, facing his unreasonable behavior, I tolerated him based on the principles of paying a debt because I might have owed him in a previous life. This is actually the principle of being a good person. I was attached to repaying debts instead of following Master's teachings to identify my human attachments.
Actually, as a practitioner, I had to identify my attachments and let them go. From the perspective of cultivation in the Fa-rectification period, these conflicts were created by bad elements, which take advantage of our loopholes to prevent Dafa practitioners from forming one body.
As Dafa practitioners in the Fa-rectification period, we do not acknowledge any interference imposed by the evil. By following the principles of a good person, it is not possible to identify attachments even if one looks within. I was trapped in tribulations for a long time and dragged along someone in my family, who is also a practitioner.
As soon as I enlightened to this, that practitioner's attitude changed completely before I even had a chance to share my new understanding with him. My surrounding environment also returned to its harmonious state.