How I Overcame My Fear in Prison
(Minghui.org) Since the Chinese Communist regime began to persecute Falun Gong in 1999, practitioners have been routinely sent to forced labor camps or prison. I was also sentenced to forced labor, incarcerated in a detention center, and taken to a brainwashing center. I had always thought these places were evil dens for persecuting practitioners, and it formed a sense of fear in me. I even became scared when I heard someone mention them.
But I completely changed my notions during the past two years of imprisonment, by following Teacher Li's Fa principles. I elevated my understanding and eliminated my attachments to fear. I learned that even in these evil places, we can overcome the hardship as long as we look inward and cultivate ourselves. We should not just passively endure the persecution.
If one does not let go of oneself, he will drift with tide and move backward. Only by letting go of ego and unconditionally looking inward by following Teacher's Fa, will one be able to turn seemingly bad things into good opportunities to elevate one's xinxing. That person will achieve the state as described in Teacher's poem “Born Anew” in Hong Yin:
“...And human notions change,The degenerate things purged,Brightness now shines forth.”
But the premise is that one must know how to utilize the valuable tool that Teacher gave us, which is to look inward unconditionally. One will see that this is a beautiful sight.
I did not quite know how to look within when I was first detained. Constrained by my own nervousness and fear, I had a strong attachment to protecting myself. I always tried to evade or not face problems directly, let alone look within.
Teacher showed me how to eliminate the attachment to fear when I tried to break the ban on doing the exercises in the detention center.
The first time I did the standing exercises in the detention center, during the second exercise, the supervisor called me suddenly. Not expecting this, I was shocked, and my heart was pounding. So I complied and went to bed.
I looked inward afterward. Teacher let me think of the Fa. I realized that it was due to my attachment that this incident allowed me to recognize my fear.
I was later able to remain on solid ground when facing problems. I was able to check to see what my thoughts were reflecting and correct myself according to the Fa.
Believe it or not, they stopped interfering with my doing the exercises after Teacher helped me understand how to look inward. I was able to do the exercises in stride. I still had some fear occasionally, but I actively fought it off. The notion became much weaker.
I was later transferred to a prison. I relied on looking inward to deal with all sorts of interference and conflicts. I discovered bad things in my thoughts and mind. I used the Fa to correct myself almost every time. I truly freed my thoughts and mind from the binds of the old forces.
I also saw through the whole operation of the Chinese communist regime with its Party culture. Just as Teacher said:
“...The Party imbues people with lies at willIts motives are plenty clearIts operational systems thorough and honed...”(“What is Chinese Civilization” in Hong Yin III)
Their administration model is set up to utilize your attachment to things and strengthen your fear, and they train you into an apparatus controlled by fear. I followed Teacher's Fa to fight them.
“When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Zhuan Falun)
I was indeed able to do everything. I learned from these experiences that it is very true that:
“...If thoughts are righteous,evil will collapse...”(“What's to Fear” from Hong Yin II)
I also enlightened to the realm of mind reflected in:
“...And human notions change,The degenerate things purged,Brightness now shines forth.”(“Born Anew” from Hong Yin)
Our cultivation is close to coming to an end, and Teacher is waiting for all practitioners to correct their notions. Teacher said:
“...so it becomes even more difficult—and even more important—to change those notions.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
I hope fellow practitioners can utilize the tools that Teacher gave us and look inward. We should change our notions and assimilate to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. We will then be able to find our true selves and follow Teacher home.