Raising a Child While Cultivating
(Minghui.org) I am the youngest in my family. I have a gentle character and didn't have many worries in life. However, that all changed when I married a poor man from the countryside whose home contained very few belongings.
My husband worked during the day, and either ate or slept when he came home. He didn't do any of the housework.
He rarely paid attention to me, nor was he a considerate person. My resentment toward my husband's behavior grew daily, but so did my skill in managing the household, to compensate for him not helping.
I remained gentle and calm because I practice Falun Dafa, and took care of all the affairs of our family. I later bought a house, and took responsibility for all of the work in moving.
“… when you come across a conflict you should not consider it a coincidence.” (Zhuan Falun)
Looking back, the experience actually laid a good foundation for me to take care of all the technical Dafa work in this area, but I still held resentment towards my husband.
He had a bad attitude towards Dafa, which made me resent him even more. I knew that I must remove this resentment, but I still felt uneasy in my heart.
My Child Helped Me Remove a Stubborn Attachment
We have been married for many years, but are unable to have children. My husband's elder sister found a newborn baby for us to adopt.
I was very reluctant to accept the child because I was in charge of a lot of Dafa projects and had little time to raise a child. But my husband insisted, so we took the baby in.
Although we adopted the child because of my husband's wishes, everything again became my responsibility. My resentment towards my husband continued to grow.
My mother-in-law watched the baby during the day, but was unable to help with any of our housework. Her reoccurring health problems were a constant challenge. When I returned home from work, I often had to care for her and my baby.
The Dafa projects were sometimes delayed, and the extra workload also reduced my time for studying the Fa and doing the exercises.
The additional stress had caused my hair to turn gray, and I began to look much older.
I couldn't go on in this state, and had to change and cheer myself up. With the help from another practitioner, I learned to get rid of my attachment to time, and studied the Fa and did the exercises whenever I was able to. Even if I woke up at one or two in the morning, I would get up to study the Fa or exercise if I wasn't too sleepy.
My resentment gradually diminished.
“You will be made to abandon all those attachments that cannot be given up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments.” (Zhuan Falun)
So would my attachment of resentment be gone at all if I was in a different living environment? If I had married a husband who took better care of me and was a better provider, would my attachments have lessened?
Realizing these things, I relaxed and my heart calmed down. Resentment towards my husband and other unhappy thoughts that had bothered me for over ten years disappeared without a trace, thanks to Falun Dafa.
My Child's State Is a Reflection of My State
Although my baby was not my natural child, my state of mind often affected him. He slept with me, and I took care of almost every aspect of his life. When my stomach was unsettled, he had diarrhea. When my heart was not aligned with the Fa, he kept crying.
When these things happened, I immediately looked inward to see what was wrong on my part or what attachment was at play. The sooner I corrected myself, the sooner my son settled down.
When I first took him to the daycare center, he cried and wouldn't let me leave him. I hadn’t realized that my sentimentality was so strong towards him. I thought that he was behaving this way because he was so young.
He was still reluctant to go to the daycare center by the fourth day. I wondered why he still cried, since I had asked for Master’s help with this issue. One day his teacher in the daycare said: “He is now happy in class. He acted like he didn't want to be here because you were not willing to let him go.”
Another teacher made a similar comment. My husband had also urged me to send my child to daycare. Wasn't Master giving me hints through the mouths of others?
I calmed down and carefully looked inward. I realized that my child's crying was caused by a recurring thought that I had: My child is still young, and I really don't want him to go to the daycare center.
It was my sentimentality that was causing my child's pain. Once I became determined in my heart, he didn't cry very much, and he went to the daycare with little resistance.
The Old Forces Use a Child's Words to Interfere With Practitioners
The old forces can use a child's words to drag a practitioner down if the practitioner is not aware of what is happening. Master has told us that “It is very easy to manipulate an ordinary person’s mind.” (Zhuan Falun)
My child now speaks fluently, and sometimes he would ask if he could drink some beer. My immediate response is always “No.” He then begs me for it, but I still answered “No.”
I knew that this was not just a playful game. My child was getting me to think about alcohol. When I heard him say words contrary to a practitioner's principles, I would always answer in the correct way according to the Fa's principles.
A few years ago, an elderly practitioner's granddaughter cried and begged her not to practice Falun Dafa. The practitioner tried to comfort her granddaughter, so she said, “Grandma doesn't practice Falun Dafa. Grandma doesn't practice Falun Dafa.”
This practitioner began to feel unwell a few days later. Her son took her to the hospital for a check-up, and the physician told her that she had pancreatic cancer. Although other practitioners sent righteous thoughts for her, studied the Fa with her, and helped her to find her various attachments, she died.
Practitioners, please do not get trapped by sentiment. The old forces are closely watching for your shortcomings.
Thanks to Master's care, I have managed to get rid of my stubborn human heart in this environment.
“Only by being among the most complex group of people and in the most complex environment can one cultivate the high-level gong...” (Zhuan Falun)
Practitioners who are living in a variety of complex environments, please cherish your conditions and thank those who create such environments. These situations are helping us to get rid of all kinds of human attachments, so that we can become Gods and Buddhas forged by Dafa.
Fellow practitioners, let's cherish the time and work hard, and cultivate well.