I Took Far Too Long to Start Cultivating Solidly
(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1997, but I have only recently felt that I should cultivate solidly. Now, I will study the Fa and do the exercises every day. I do my best to look at everything as a cultivator.
Studying and Reciting the Fa
When I first obtained the Fa, I was uplifted by Teacher's words in one of his early lectures. I took His words to heart and decided to memorize Zhuan Falun.
“Why don’t we memorize something that’s this good?” (“Suggestions Given at the Beijing Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting” from Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
As memorizing comes easy to me, I first memorized Essentials for Further Advancement and then moved on to memorizing Zhuan Falun. However, after I had memorized the first 10 pages, I stopped because I thought that I had not benefited from it at all.
Over the next six years, I read sharing articles on the Minghui website about reciting the Fa and its benefits. I felt envious and decided to memorize Zhuan Falun again.
When memorizing the book, I went at a faster pace compared to my first try. However, I realized that my memorization technique was geared to ordinary people's books, so I stopped again. I still felt guilty 10 years later and decided to try memorizing the book for a third time.
Before proceeding, I looked inward and realized that I would feel proud of myself if I could do it. This was an attachment to showing off, which was blocking me from memorizing the Fa and preventing me from understanding the inner meanings of the Fa.
“It requires us to be good people at every moment among everyday people and it enables us to improve, wouldn’t it be better if we could memorize it? Then we’ll have something we can measure ourselves against at every moment.” (“Suggestions Given at the Beijing Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting” from Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
My understanding is that when reciting the Fa, the cultivator improves his or her understanding of it.
Therefore, I let go of my attachment of pursuit and the memorization techniques that I was familiar with. I began to put my heart into memorizing the Fa, and using that mindset of studying it. When reciting the Fa, I paid attention to the meaning of it. A path had been opened for me. After 20 years, I saw new meanings in many of Teacher’s words.
Dreaming of Material Benefits
Since I began to cultivate, I have given up many material benefits. However, I was still pursuing them in my dreams, which made me very frustrated.
“'When I come to this ordinary human society, it’s just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry'. Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes.” (Zhuan Falun)
Teacher's Fa told me that I was focusing on gaining items in a small hotel, as opposed to thinking of higher realms. My focus was completely off.
“The complex environment, in my view, is instead a good thing. The more complex it is, the greater the persons it will produce.” (Zhuan Falun)
Now, I understood that a complex environment was an opportunity for cultivators to improve. Facing the environment, one should take action and get the problems resolved. I also understood that since I was memorizing and reciting the Fa, that it would help me whenever I ran into tests or tribulations in my day-to-day life. Now, memorizing the Fa is no longer a burden.
Doing The Exercises
I did not pay much attention to do the exercises for a long time and only did them when I had time.
Then, I developed some sickness symptoms about three years ago, which worsened over time until I felt excruciating pain. However, after sending strong righteous thoughts I no longer felt this pain.
After looking within, I realized that this was due to my slacking off in doing the exercises. If I had been strict with myself about doing them, my karma would have been eliminated.
Since then, I began to pay a lot of attention to doing the exercises. It was very hard at the beginning, so I decided to join fellow practitioners early in the morning every day, regardless of the weather. After doing the exercises with other practitioners, I felt that my body was light.
“Our exercise sites are better than any other qigong exercise sites. As long as you go to our exercise sites for practice, it is much better than your treating your own illness. My fashen sit in a circle, and above the exercise site is a shield on which there is a big Falun.” (Zhuan Falun)
Realizing that it took so many years for me to take cultivation seriously, I think that practitioners’ behavior, including mine, has caused the delay in the conclusion of Fa-rectification. I cannot imagine what Teacher has endured in order to extend our time.