Eliminating Hidden Attachments

(Minghui.org)

The Hidden Attachment Behind "Being a Good Person"

I moved into a new office in 2012. I had clarified the truth to everyone in my old office. At my previous location, I was able to read Dafa books and tell people the facts about Falun Dafa openly without any objection from anyone. I was eager to create a good atmosphere for telling people about Falun Dafa in my new environment. However, I thought that I should first build good relationships with everyone.

I did not realize that I had attachments hidden behind this thought.

During our lunch break, a colleague went for a short nap in the room next to the office. A customer in need of a receipt came looking for her before she woke up. I went ahead and gave the customer the receipt without waking my colleague. She was not thankful when she found out that I had stepped in. I continued to help her several more times without any thanks from her. I noticed her being polite to other colleagues, but never to me.

I was really making an effort to be nice, but she was not kind to me in return. Again a customer was looking for her while she napped, and another colleague said I should just wake her. I woke her, and surprisingly she was nicer to me after that.

Looking within, I realized that when I helped my colleague, it was not out of a pure kind heart. Hidden behind my actions were the attachments of getting approval and being praised. I wanted others to say I was a good person, and I enjoyed hearing compliments.

I seemed to have a good relationship with my colleagues, but was not able to talk to them about Falun Dafa. When I brought up the topic, they all became quiet. I was hesitant to continue because I did not want to "ruin" my good relationships with them.

Looking within further, I also saw that behind seeking approval, hid my timid disposition. I was eager to help everyone and was afraid of refusing anyone. I was in fact seeking to prove myself. I was shocked to discover so many attachments behind my "helping people.” I was afraid of being rejected and losing face.

These attachments were related to the way I was brought up. When I was a child, my mother favored boys over girls. I often felt unwanted and always tried to get others’ approval to feel safe and valued.

After I began practicing Dafa, I mistakenly mixed up "submissive" with "forbearance." I did not know that being a good person within Dafa cultivation is different than behaving as a good person in order to satisfy my own attachments. It took me more than 10 years to understand Master's words:

"In cultivation and practice one should be in a state free of intention." (Zhuan Falun)

After letting go of my attachments, I truly felt the happiness from "free of intention".

Eliminating Jealousy

Everyone in my office are women, and so the common topic in the office was everyone's children.

My daughter was studying abroad in Canada. One of my colleagues often talked about her daughter who was studying in the U.S. Her daughter was a straight A student, held a full scholarship and had a boyfriend with a solid background. Listening to her go on about her daughter made me jealous.

As a cultivator, I knew jealousy was something I must eliminate. I reminded myself of this every time I felt uncomfortable hearing about her daughter. Yet, the jealousy kept resurfacing.

My daughter practiced Dafa with me since she was a child. She has a good and upright character even though she did not cultivate diligently. During our video chats, I always remind her to study well and get good grades so she could get a good job in Canada after graduating. I also reminded her to read the Fa.

When I got together with relatives, I felt good when I heard them talk about how smart and thoughtful my daughter was. I was influenced by my attachments of showing off, zealotry, jealousy, seeking fame and gain, and my sheer vanity.

Gradually, my daughter listened to me less and less. She said I was too controlling. Often she did not even want to hear me mention Fa study.

I felt confused, lost and anxious. I came to understand that I was controlling, and I needed to let all that go and let Master arrange my daughter's future. She is Master's disciple!

Afterward, whenever I felt that attachment again I read Master's Fa:

"You are unable to interfere with the lives of others, and neither can you control others’ fates, including those of your wife, sons, daughters, parents, or brothers. Can you decide those things?" (Zhuan Falun)

I increased sending righteous thoughts to eliminate my attachments related to sentimentality and the old forces’ arrangements in my dimensional field.

I spent two to three hours every day memorizing the Fa. After a period of time, I found that my attachments to sentimentality were reduced. I know it was Master who had taken away those bad substances in other dimensions.

When I gradually let go of my attachment to sentimentality for my daughter and the vanity of wanting her to be successful in ordinary ways, my daughter started to listen to me again. Now when people praise my daughter, I was not affected anymore. I was sincerely happy for my colleague's daughter doing well. I felt the state of "The mind empties and kind thoughts arise". ("Entering a Sacred State of Mind", Hong Yin III)

Through my experience, I understood that behind jealousy there are other human attachments. Only when these attachments are eliminated, can the jealousy be eliminated completely.

My daughter resumed her regular Fa study. Because of my attachment to sentimentality, the old forces took advantage of my loophole. As a result my daughter almost stopped practicing Falun Dafa.

Cultivating Every Thought

I have cultivated for more than 10 years. Only recently, I found selfishness was deep down inside me. I had strong thought karma and bad enlightenment ability. I did Fa study, but I did not genuinely cultivate every thought and action.

Recently, several plants in my office withered. It was my responsibility to water them, and I thought I had done my job. After a closer look I realized I had watered them too much and some of the roots had rotted. I looked within – I watered the plants, but was not paying attention. It was similar to how I treated Dafa projects, I was busy every day with the projects, but did not pay attention to detail or what was really needed.

Cultivation is serious. I shall cultivate every thought of mine and walk on the right path Master arranged. Only by doing so can I help Master in the Fa Rectification.