A Young Dafa Disciple's Cultivation Story
I am a young Dafa practitioner who began practicing six months ago.
When I was little, my mother, who is a practitioner, often urged me to read Dafa books and Master's new lectures. She also taught me the exercises. I knew deep down that Dafa was good, and that is what one must do.
Yet for many years I did not become a real practitioner. I loved to have fun in my daily life, and I was afraid of the persecution. Several times, I wanted to start cultivating, but my attachments stopped me.
I sometimes saw that my mother did not behave like a practitioner. I thought, “How can you tell me to cultivate? Look at yourself after so many years of cultivation!” My fighting and complaining mentalities prevented me from entering cultivation.
After I graduated from college and started to work, I struggled as an everyday person, seeking fame and gain. Fortunately, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance has always been deep in my heart. I occasionally listened to Master's audio lectures. Each time, the thought arose, “You are not worthy of learning Dafa. You want to gain something from Dafa, and you knowingly make mistakes.” (After I began cultivating, I came to understand that this was the old force's arrangement.)
Master never gave up on me and often hinted to me in my dreams.
In 2016 I moved to a city close to my hometown. I thought it would be great if I could get in contact with some practitioners. Then in September I met two elderly practitioners who were out in public telling people the facts about Dafa! Thanks to Master's arrangement!
During the next few months, not only could I get truth-clarification materials from the practitioners to give to my mother, but they also told me about sending forth righteous thoughts and our duty to save people.
They told me that when I study the Fa, I should sit in the full lotus position and use both hands to hold the book. By the end of the year, I finally got into a routine that was more like a true Dafa cultivator.
I had trouble at first getting up at midnight to send forth righteous thoughts. Even when I set my alarm clock, I sometimes did not hear it. Later, I simply stayed awake until after midnight.
At the beginning, I was able to sit in meditation for only 30 minutes. My legs really hurt, even the bones. I gradually broke through this, and I am now able to do the full hour.
I used to spend a lot of time watching regular TV programs and movies. After I began cultivating, I realized that those shows only intensified human attachments, such as fame, gain, sentimentality, and lust. I deleted the video player from my cell phone and installed software to circumvent China’s Internet blockade. Every day I read practitioners' experience sharing articles, and I have often been moved to tears. I am so grateful to the Minghui website, which gives me the opportunity to read these wonderful articles and see my own shortcomings in comparison.
I am at the age where people typically marry. Before I began cultivating, my hope was to find someone who had the same interests as me so we could have a happy life together. I dated for a short while, but then stopped after I saw that today's young people's thoughts and acts were too dirty.
I did not want to sink into that way of behaving, which seems like quicksand. Instead I wanted to eliminate the attachment to lust and truly cultivate. I read many articles related to this on the Minghui website, and my thoughts got brighter.
Tests soon came. I got a call from the man I previously dated. He wanted to get together again and said he would correct the behaviors I disliked. I turned him down. I found that I resented him. Through studying the Fa and looking inward, I found my own tendencies to fight and complain, as well as the attachment to lust. I felt sorry for him and finally let go of the resentment.
I thought I had passed the test, but soon after, another test came. A man I had met earlier, but did not date, called and wanted to start a relationship. Because I knew this was another test, I rejected him.
My thinking at the time was that I had done well. As soon as my attachment of zealotry appeared, the man called again and asked to be an ordinary friend. I realized this was due to my attachments, and I explained more clearly to him that I wasn’t interested.
From these incidents, I found my attachments to fame and gain, lust, resentment, and zealotry. I found that I had all known human attachments. I decided to study the Fa more and let these bad things go.
I know that my future path is arranged by Master. Master always gives us the best. Whenever I questioned whether I should get married, I remembered Master's words:
“... ‘natural attainment without pursuit.’” (“Lecture in Sydney”)
Other People Are Mirrors of Myself
I read an article by a practitioner who said, “Other people are mirrors of myself.” I totally agree. In my daily life, ordinary people or practitioners around me are all mirrors of myself. Master said:
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”)
Ordinary people often look outward when facing problems. That is selfishness, not compassion.
Several days ago, my manager asked me to go to a dinner with her and her friends. I went reluctantly, complaining in my heart that this was wasting my time: "Instead of studying the Fa and doing the exercises at home, I am here having to listen to these people's nonsense about fame, gain, and sentimentality." I looked down on them. I thought the dinner was very boring and wished it would be over, so I could go home.
After dinner the manager asked me to call a taxi for her. So it was late when I got home. I was unhappy for the next two days. While I knew that as a practitioner I should be more tolerant and I should not complain about this, I kept thinking that I'd lost that time to read the Fa because of her.
After I read the practitioner's article mentioned above, I enlightened that I was wrong. I had not cultivated myself. Instead I was looking outward and did not treat the issue as everything being for my cultivation, regardless of whether it is good or bad.
I then looked inward and saw my attachments of showing off, zealotry, jealousy, fighting, and complaining. Compared to other practitioners, I saw that I was so far behind! Then I realized that my nervousness was also an attachment. Other practitioners came this far step by step. There is no shortcut in cultivation. I need to progress steadily.
A Few Words to Young Practitioners
There have been so many big changes in me, physically and spiritually, during the past few months. I've learned to look within when facing conflicts and to consider others first. When something happens, I've learned to look at which attachments it came from, find them, and eliminate them.
It was easy to say, but much harder to do. Sometimes it was very painful.
“…‘When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.’” (Zhuan Falun)
“…all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
As a new practitioner, I have a long way to go to catch up. I am so grateful that Master gave us the time and did not give up on me when I let Him down. I thank Master, who saved me from hell!
I would also like to take this opportunity to say a few words to other young practitioners. Because of Dafa, we chose to come to families with practitioners. We should treasure this chance, for which we have waited millions of years! We should not forget our vows, and not forget our true home. We should keep righteous thoughts, and not be afraid. And do not stop! As long as Fa Rectification has not ended, everyone still has a chance!
Please point out anything improper.