Letting Go of My Attachments While Promoting Shen Yun
(Minghui.org) I left China in 2007. During the first few years my husband forbade me from participating in any Falun Dafa activities. He intimidated me by beating and cursing me. Even though I wished to help fellow practitioners talk to people about Falun Dafa, I couldn't overcome his objections. I always hoped that he would go on a business trip so that I could go out when he was away. When he was home, I had to think of ways to persuade him to let me go. Sometimes I couldn't find the right words or an opportunity to talk with him even though the activities were in a couple of days. It was a very difficult time for me.
During the first year I helped promote Shen Yun, I could only go out once a week. My husband always looked angry when I returned home. I encouraged myself on my way home and reminded myself that I had done the most righteous thing and that there was nothing to be afraid of.
A fellow practitioner once pointed out in front of everyone that I seldom helped with the Shen Yun promotion. She said, “Since you own your store, you can determine when to open it and when to close it.” I thought she was disregarding my situation, and I argued with her. However, I calmed down later and realized what she said was true. I had a lot to improve on. In addition to my husband's objections, my attachment to personal interest was also an obstacle. Our store didn't make much money and traveling to activities was expensive. I worried my husband would be even angrier if I participated in more activities.
I made up my mind to break through all these barriers. After I let go of my attachment to personal interest, I decided to go out twice a week. At first, I didn't tell my husband, but I left right after he left, and got back before he did. For several weeks, he didn't know what I was doing.
Another practitioner and I once went to distribute Shen Yun flyers. It was dark, but we still had a few more streets to cover. The other practitioner wanted to finish all the streets. I was anxious to go home, but summoned my courage and stayed until the end. As soon as I entered the house, my husband asked, “Where have you been?” I murmured, “I went to distribute flyers.” He didn't say anything.
Afterward, I started going out twice a week. My husband looked unhappy, but I did my best to take care of the housework. It was usually past 7:00 p.m. by the time I got home, and I started cooking right away even though I was tired. In my mind I complained about my husband. I thought, “You stay home all day, but wait for me to cook for you!” When I improved in my cultivation, I understood what Master told us: “Let joy be found in hardship.” (Tempering the Will from Hong Yin) I decided that cooking wasn't so difficult and I sang Falun Dafa songs while I cooked.
Gradually, I started going out three times a week. My husband eventually became used to it. One day, when I didn't go as I had planned he asked me why I didn't go out.
I have learned a lot through the conflicts with my family. I looked inward and let go of a lot of attachments, especially my attachment to emotion, complaining and to arguing. I used to hide my attachments using the excuse of making Dafa projects my priority, but I was not considerate of my family's feelings. I have learned to think from their perspective and to be forgiving. The climate at home has gradually improved. I can now participate in Dafa-related activities any time.
Letting Go of My Attachment to Self-Interest
I'm fortunate to be able to promote Shen Yun. It's such an enjoyable and sacred experience! By interacting with fellow practitioners I have found many of my attachments and where I have fallen short in my cultivation. I have benefited so much from this experience, and I've been inspired to cultivate diligently!
I once went to distribute flyers with two practitioners. They chatted about their lives and things such as cars and houses. I thought we should treasure our time together to talk about our cultivation experiences. In my mind I complained that they were wasting our precious time. Throughout the two days we worked together, one of them made fun of me occasionally, which caused me to have even more negative thoughts.
Even though I didn't complain, Master clearly saw my thoughts, and through another practitioner helped me on this issue. That evening, she and I went to pick up some Shen Yun posters. She told me that she really enjoyed promoting Shen Yun with fellow practitioners. She thought every practitioner was so kind and lovely! When I heard her words, I thought, “Why do I think some fellow practitioners are kind, but I dislike others? Wasn't there a big gap in my cultivation?”
She talked about some of her cultivation experiences. Her stories were about eliminating negative thoughts about fellow practitioners and becoming compassionate and tolerant. When she started putting herself into fellow practitioners' shoes, she understood them, saw their merits, and had less and less negative thoughts about them. I suddenly saw where I needed to do better. Ever since then, I often remind myself to see others' merits and to be more considerate.
The first couple of years I helped promote Shen Yun, I was sometimes unhappy with how our coordinator handled things. As I improved my xinxing, I gradually realized that I was judging him based on my human notions. I worked hard to eliminate this. I now have fewer negative thoughts, and I've stopped complaining.
I once saw how a fellow practitioner unconditionally cooperated with the coordinator. She and I were driving back when she mentioned she couldn't eat with us today, because she had to hurry home and take care of a lot of housework. It would take her two hours to drive home, and it was already 6:00 p.m.
After unloading the car, she was about to head home when she received a phone call from our coordinator. Because I stood right next to her, I heard their conversation clearly. The coordinator asked her to go pick up ten boxes of Shen Yun flyers from another location. The fellow practitioner asked softly, “When?” The coordinator said, “Right now.” The fellow practitioner calmly said, “Sure! I will go now.” I was very touched. I asked myself, “Could I do what the coordinator asked so unconditionally?”
Whenever I run into any issues, I always remember her example. I remind myself to let go of my self-interest and cooperate without complaint. If something is imperfect in any assignment, I point it out kindly.