Studying the Fa More to Rectify Myself
(Minghui.org) The founder of Falun Dafa sent a congratulatory message to the South America Fa Conference and addressed the importance of cultivating diligently.
“Only by cultivating yourself well will you be able to fulfill well Dafa disciples’ missions.”
This gave me the impetus to look within to find my attachments that I had not yet eliminated.
I have been living in Australia for four years now, but only recently did my husband and son come to join me. My husband is shy and reserved, yet he strives for perfection. Whenever he makes a mistake, I'm always on his case, while he forgives me for the mistakes I make.
A fellow Falun Dafa practitioner once told me an ancient story about a mother and daughter-in-law who lived together. The daughter-in-law was very pious but complained a lot, while the mother did all the household chores and never argued back. One day, a Buddha visited the family and picked up the mother and took her to heaven. The daughter-in-law said to the Buddha, “You've made a mistake and picked up the wrong person. It was I who had been practicing your school [of cultivation]. It was I who chanted the scriptures every day.” The Buddha smiled, took the mother, and went away.
This story made me realize that I did not actually practice cultivation all these years. Outside of my family, I was on my best behavior; I practiced forbearance and looked within after conflicts. I believed that I was doing well in my cultivation, but that was really only for people to see. I did not apply the same standards when it came to conflicts within my family.
I was unhappy with whatever my husband did and always looked down on him. He could not hold himself back one day, and said, “If you think Dafa is good, then you should try to cultivate well. Don’t always blame or criticize others. I don't think you listen to your master’s teachings at all. It would seem that you don't cultivate yourself, and you're not tolerant, either.”
He told me to think about my cultivation state and determine if it was up to Dafa's standard. My husband does not practice Dafa, but he has read the book Zhuan Falun.
I ended up saying, “If you feel anything I did was inappropriate, please let me know so that I can correct myself.” My words seemed kind and sincere, but my thoughts were not. I believed that it was my husband who needed to look within.
It was frustrating to realize that I was wrong. I regretted my actions. My husband's words actually helped me to clear my mind.
“Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone. In doing so, there will not be any problems. Therefore, in cultivation practice you should follow a higher and higher standard for yourself.” (Zhuan Falun)
I wanted my husband to become a Falun Dafa practitioner, but I did not put myself in his shoes. He was new to this country and needed time to settle in.
I no longer interfere with what he does and have changed my opinion of him. He has also changed. Now, he watches NTD television programs, does many things for me, and even help distribute Dafa materials.
Removing Attachment to Reliance on Others
One day, in a bathroom of a young practitioner’s home, I saw an air freshener. I wanted one as well and hoped that she would get one for me if she went out that day. But she answered, “You can just go and get it yourself. If I help you once, I will end up with helping you every week of the year. I won't encourage your dependence.”
I was surprised and thought about what I would have said in her situation: “Well, when I have time, I'll take you to buy it so next time you can get it on your own.”
Thinking about it, I was a bit shocked. Was I looking at others and blaming others? Looking within was to find my own faults first. Why did I find excuses for myself, for my dependence? Was I stuck at the surface level and only talking about specific issues? Was I not able to really think over and comprehend the profound meanings of Master’s teachings? Was I practicing cultivation?
Through this incident, wasn't she helping me to get rid of my dependence on others? So, I asked her to show me the device and took a photo so I could buy it from the shop on my own.
I thought, “When I was with my daughter, I always relied on her because I am her mother. For a few years, I haven’t removed this dependence. Is it a loophole in my cultivation? My daughter went to the U.S., and Master arranged a few practitioners to help me to improve my xinxing. Isn't it a good opportunity to cultivate myself? I must eliminate this human attachment.” I am sincerely grateful to Master and to the fellow practitioner who helped me to get rid of my mentality of dependence.