New Practitioners Change Their Behavior
(Minghui.org) My husband often spoke to his mother with a lack of respect, saying things like, “Nobody is stopping you. Why don't you jump into the river and kill yourself.” or “Mind your own business. Don't interfere with me.”
At first when I saw her crying, I tried to ease the tension in their relationship. But she started to hate me, because her son was still her baby. In time, I grew used to how they got along and remained silent to avoid getting involved in their conflicts.
My mother-in-law is a typical farmer. She has no income and is illiterate. My father-in-law passed away in 2011, and my husband was their only child. Every now and then when she and I had minor conflicts, I always tried to restrain myself. I made myself put up with her because I wanted to maintain my image. But those conflicts always upset me.
In October 2014, my husband and I started to cultivate Falun Dafa.
Master Li Hongzhi taught us:
“We should all speak according to a practitioner’s xinxing rather than create conflicts or say something improper. As practitioners, we must measure ourselves with the standard of the Fa to determine whether we should say certain things. What should be said will not present a problem if one complies with the xinxing standard for practitioners according to the Fa.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master Li also said in Zhuan Falun:
“As a human being, you are a good person only if you can follow this universe’s characteristic of Zhen-Shan-Ren. A person who deviates from this characteristic is truly a bad person.”
I used to think that I was a good wife and daughter-in-law because I kept silent during their conflicts. I used to think that my self-restraint was forbearance. After reading Zhuan Falun, I realized there are higher criteria to judge if a person is good or bad.
I realized I lacked compassion in the way I handled conflicts between my husband his mother. I didn't really want to ease the tension. Instead, sometimes I wanted to see how they fought. Since I felt that she bullied me, I also sometimes wanted to see my mother-in-law lose. Sometimes, I said bad things about her to my husband behind her back, which worsened their relationship.
How I behaved and my attitude toward my mother-in-law were in no way aligned with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I was surprised to see that I was actually such a horrible person.
After I realized my shortcomings, I stopped complaining about her to my husband. I apologized to her for my behavior in the past and promised her that I would treat her with compassion.
My husband changed, too. Not only did he stop being mean to his mother, but also when she criticized him, he did not argue back.
My mother-in-law saw how we changed. She stopped complaining about us and praised Falun Dafa for changing us.
My husband said he grew up in that kind of environment where his family members had several fights every day. Because of Falun Dafa, our family is now happy and peaceful.
I used to be very picky. I knew how to select the best produce and often taught others how to select fresh, high quality fruits and vegetables at the market.
Master Li taught us to be considerate of others. I now see how much suffering the vendors endure. They wake up around 4 a.m. every morning, year round, and never have a break. So I stopped being picky and I pay for whatever I first pick up. Sometimes, all I get in my hand are the vegetable leaves that other customers peeled off, but I still pay for them.
One day, a vendor said to me, “I cannot hold back anymore. I've been paying attention to you for a long time. Can't you pick something fresh and good looking? How come you always pay for stuff like this? I can't stand good people being taken advantage of.” She picked up a few potatoes for me that were big, clean, and firm.
A fruit vendor said to me, “I like to see you in the market. You are always smiling.” I told the vendor that the reason I am happy is because I follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
I now do the exercises every day and look inward for my own problems during conflicts. My heart, which was empty, jumpy, hateful, and whiney, has become full, peaceful, happy, satisfied, and considerate.
I would like to tell everybody that we need Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance so that we can return to our true selves.