Changing My Notions and Becoming a Genuine Practitioner
(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in May 1995. Under Masters Li Hongzhi's care, I continued on my cultivation path all these years. There are no words to express my appreciation.
Since I was a child, I had tonsillitis practically every year. By the time I reached high school, I had swollen tonsils with constant pain. No medicine seemed to help. I also tried different qigong practices, but could not find a cure.
I watched the video of Master Li teaching the Fa in Beijing and started practicing Falun Dafa in May 1995. Since then, I have been aware of the principle of karmic retribution; that is, one is ultimately held accountable for his own actions. I understood that Master was teaching people about the supreme characteristics of the cosmos, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Learning these profound truths gave me unimaginable happiness.
After studying the Fa and doing the exercises for a period of time, the symptoms of tonsillitis were gone. When I had a headache, I understood it was a part of the body purification process, as described in the teachings. Then, finally, during an intense headache, I couldn't eat or sleep that day. At midnight, I went out for a walk, and a police officer even stopped to interrogate me. On the third day, the headache disappeared, and I immediately fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt clear-minded, and my chronic migraines disappeared.
Changing My Notions and Cultivating Myself
Since I started practicing Falun Dafa, there have been many tests for me with my wife. Many times when my wife had her period, we usually had a fight. Over 22 years, we've had numerous conflicts. Even up until recently, I considered getting a divorce.
When I recently traveled to a city in Northeast China, I felt people there were different from those in Beijing. They spoke frankly, but it seemed that all they cared about was money. They had nothing else to talk about, and it made me feel depressed. I then thought about my wife, who hadn't changed in all these years; she criticized me endlessly!
I then thought of Master's poem, “Cause and Effect:”“Tis not that the journey of cultivation is painful,Karma from generation upon generation is blocking you.Steel your will,eliminate karma,cultivate xinxing,And become a Buddha who keeps forever the human body.” (Hong Yin)
I realized that I should thank my wife. All these tribulations were because of my own karma, and I should be happy about it. During all these years, I didn't pass this test because my own human notions hadn't changed. So I looked within and improved my heart nature instead. I now feel very blessed!
Master taught us,
“My truly cultivating disciples, what I have taught you is the Fa for cultivation of Buddha and Dao. Nonetheless, you pour out your grievances to me over the loss of your worldly interests, rather than feeling upset for being unable to let go of ordinary human attachments. Is this cultivation? Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person. ” (“True Cultivation” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I used to look outward, and it was easy to find others' shortcomings and judge them. Instead of looking within, I used to worry about other practitioners because I thought they were not getting rid of their attachments. I worried about my wife because she had strong affection for her mother. My attitude was not kind. I didn't notice that all these things were a true reflection of the state of my own heart.
Focusing on others' shortcomings in this way was not benevolence. It was the selfish act of only expecting others to change. Instead, I should examine myself, see others strengths, and act compassionately.
When I looked within and no longer tried to get my mother-in-law to change, my wife became happier. My wife's aunt, who didn't like to cook, started coming to our home. Although I was busy, I cooked good things for her and no longer complained.
Instead of forcing myself to tolerate my mother-in-law, I now only paid attention to her strengths. It was not easy for her to start practicing Falun Gong; she had a lot of responsibility in taking care of three children. I enlightened to how people suffer and no longer felt resentment toward her.
Looking Within Upon Seeing Other Practitioner's Attachments
I finally realized that reason I saw other practitioners' attachments was because I had these kinds of attachments too. This was a hint from Master.
One practitioner I focused on was a coordinator. She got angry, disappointed, and felt helpless when she saw that other practitioners hadn't let go of their attachments. She felt very discouraged. I realized that this mentality was a kind of jealousy and resentment.
When I pointed it out to her, she didn't agree. She thought that it was the other practitioners that had attachments and needed to be reminded in order to change. I thought this attitude was wrong and hoped she could change too.
This alerted me, and I realized that I should look within. If I tried to force her to change, then I would have the same problem and this would not be benevolent. I then sat down, conjoined my hands, and sent out a thought to eliminate this attachment of mine. After a while, I became calm. Looking outward is not compassionate, and it does not help improve one's heart.
When we cultivate compassion, we need to be patient and see others' strengths. When we are more benevolent, we can be more effective in saving people.
After changing my attitude, my mother-in-law asked me to accompany her to go shopping. I enlightened that I had improved my heart, and that Master arranged for me to go with her to save people. When we arrived at the market, I easily talked to seven people about the persecution.