China Fahui | A Lost Soul Rediscovers the Truth of Life
Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I'm a young Dafa disciple who obtained the Fa a few years ago. In my cultivation, I've experienced tremendous improvement in both my body and soul. My heart is full of appreciation for Master. At this grand China Fahui, I hope to share my cultivation stories with fellow practitioners.
A Lost Soul
I started to practice Falun Dafa in October 2014. Before that, I picked up many bad habits from the degenerate society. Growing up in a wealthy family, my father spoiled me and allowed me to squander his money.
After I got married, I often fought with my husband and asked for money from his family. While spending my parents-in-law's money, I cursed them behind their backs. In just five years, I wasted almost a million yuan fooling around.
After fights with my husband, he would often strike his head with an ashtray in anger and frustration. I also felt the emptiness in my heart and had no reason to live.
Even after being married for five years, I still couldn't get pregnant. We went to the hospital for tests and were told that everything was fine. When I saw children playing, I would start to cry. I thought I might never have a baby. I often had nightmares about death.
Dafa Renewed My Life
I knew I was wasting my life, but I didn't know what to do. I never expected that I would be given the chance to live again. When my mother introduced Falun Dafa to me, I readily accepted it.
I experienced dramatic changes. I no longer hung out with friends who were bad influences. My attitude toward my family became kind and gentle.
Initially my husband didn't believe my changes and said I was pretending. I didn't argue with him and continued to discipline myself according to the Fa's standard.
I felt sorry for my parents-in-law and wanted to make up for my past behavior. I rose early to prepare breakfast for them and help them clean the house. My mother-in-law was so surprised by my change that she once held me and said, “I am really touched!”
When my husband went out, I stayed at home to study the Fa and do the exercises. I no longer fought with him.
Because I didn't go out often, my spending was also drastically reduced. My husband once mentioned that he wanted to get a new car. I told him that the car we had was still in good condition and we shouldn't waste more money. He agreed with me and said, “You really have changed.”
I used to be very rude to my sister-in-law. During a family gathering, I apologized to her. “After studying Dafa,” I said to her, “I realized that I was so careless in the way I spoke to you and never considered your feelings. I hope you didn't mind but today I want to apologize to you. I'm really sorry.”
She was surprised. After a few seconds of silence, her eyes became moist and she was moved by my sincere apology. From then on, we got along very well.
More surprisingly, after eight months of practicing Dafa, I became pregnant. Both of our families were filled with tremendous joy. Seeing all my changes, my husband was very supportive of my practicing Dafa and soon started practicing himself.
A Surprising Nanny
I had severe physical reactions to my pregnancy; I often vomited and felt very weak. I couldn't even walk much. After I gave birth, I put all my energy into taking care of my son and had much less time to study the Fa. Even when I had time, I just couldn't pick up the book.
I was very frustrated and didn't dare to face Master's photo. I asked my husband, “I have become so slack in my cultivation. Will Master still take care of me?”
Not yet a practitioner, what my husband said shocked me: “Don't overlook Master's compassion.” Compared to him, I really lacked righteous thoughts. I promised Master in my heart: “I will be more diligent in cultivation.”
I posted an ad in the newspaper for a nanny to help me out. Many people responded, but no one showed up for an interview. Finally I found a good candidate and she accepted my offer.
She started to work the next day. After she helped me clean the house, she came to me and said, “I think we are studying in the same school of cultivation.”
“Which school are you studying?” I asked her in surprise.
“Falun Gong,” she said.
I was shocked. I realized it was Master's arrangement to have a practitioner come here and help me make a breakthrough in cultivation. Thank you so much, Master. Although I did so poorly, Master never gave up on me and took care of me all the time.
We started to study the Fa after lunch. While my son was sleeping, I could make time to do the exercises. I finally caught up with my cultivation.
After a while, that practitioner suggested I join a local Fa study group and said that this was the cultivation format Master left us. I took her suggestion and joined the group.
It was indeed a very different environment compared to cultivating by myself at home. I took it very seriously and sat with my legs crossed in the lotus position during Fa study, and yet I didn't feel any pain in my legs. I also benefited from other practitioners' cultivation sharing. I realized the importance of group Fa study. I really cherish and feel grateful for Master and other practitioners.
Looking Within, Overcoming Sentimentality
As soon as I became more diligent in cultivation, I met with a xinxing test.
My husband, who just began to practice Dafa, experienced physical tribulations. He had red pimples all over his body that both hurt and itched. Our son then had the same problem. He often woke up crying in the middle of the night. I put medicine on him, but it didn't have any effect. For two months, I couldn't get a good night's sleep. Exhausted, my righteous thoughts began to waver. I stopped going to group Fa study. All I thought about was how to help my son get better.
One night, my son woke up crying hard again. I took him, knelt in front of Master's photo, and asked for his help. My son was still crying. I realized that this was the test that I must pass myself. How could Master take it away for me?
Then another terrible thought came to my mind: Why didn't Master take care of me? I even blamed Master.
The next day, I told practitioners about my recent cultivation states. They all shared their thoughts with me. One said, “The problem is with you. Your sentimentality for your son is too strong.”
“It was because you didn't do well that your father-in-law doesn't understand the facts,” said another.
“You gave a lot of de to your mother recently,” yet another practitioner said. “You can't blame Master. Master has done so much for us. It's a crime for you to think about it that way.”
It was really hard for me to bear all the criticism coming at me. With attachments of reputation and self-esteem, I felt wronged and couldn't take any suggestions from practitioners.
I complained to my husband on my way back home that they didn't understand the real situation and what they said about me was wrong.
When we studied the Fa together in the evening, my husband read this paragraph of the Fa:
“I have made arrangements for you, I can protect you, strengthen you, and transform gong for your ascendance to every new level. But when it comes to cultivating your mind, that is up to you, yourself. When it comes to your mind, as you run into trouble and face tests, whether you can endure and make it are totally up to you. Of course, when you really can’t make it, I will give you hints. At that point, my only concern is that your thinking may have become too extreme to awaken, no matter how I try to give you hints, and thus a dilemma is created. I can tell you that when you fail to pass a test, and you hear things that grate on your ears, that is really my Law Body making use of unpleasant words to rouse you and tell you something. It’s hard to pass a test, but once you are through it and look back, you will see that that test was really nothing and it’s baffling why you were so attached to it at that time. When you truly make it past, your xinxing will improve and your karma will be eliminated—guaranteed.” (“First Fa Teaching Given in the United States,” Teaching the Fa at the Conference I)
This Fa was like a hard blow for me. I suddenly realized that everything practitioners said about me was true. Master was using them to help me improve. I just didn't get it and even blamed Master in my mind. I was so wrong.
My heart was filled with contrition. I knelt in front of Master, crying, “Master, I'm really sorry.”
That night, my son woke up again, but this time, I was able to handle it calmly. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors interfering with him. From then on, his symptoms completely went away.
After this experience, I felt I'd shed a layer of human attachments. I asked myself why it took me so long to pass this test. When my son had problems, I didn't send righteous thoughts for him and didn't look within but resorted to modern medicine. If practitioners didn't remind me of my problem, I might have committed a bigger sin of not respecting Master, and the consequences could have been very serious.
This was a serious lesson for me. I learned that, as a cultivator, I must look within at all times.
Another test was with my mother. I didn't have a good relationship with her before I started cultivation. I resented her for beating me and cursing me when I was a child. I always felt we had a bad karmic bond.
After I took up cultivation, I realized that I was being selfish and too demanding of her. I only cared about my own feelings and neglected hers. Influenced by the Party culture, I always wanted to fight with her.
Traditional Chinese culture taught filial piety. If I couldn't even be nice to my own mother, how could I say I was a good cultivator? I made up my mind to let go of the resentment I had for my mother.
Thank you, Master and fellow practitioners, for helping me pass this test.
Sentient Beings Salute Dafa
With more Fa study, I gradually understood the importance of clarifying the facts. I started to clarify the facts to taxi drivers and shop clerks.
One day when I came home, my husband said that I had mighty virtue. I asked him why he said that. He told me that he had called a taxi that day, and just as he began to clarify the facts to the driver, he turned around, looked at him and our son, and said, “Your wife already told me about it. Didn't your wife have a bad temper but completely changed after studying Dafa? You and your wife didn't have child for five years after you got married, yet she became pregnant after she studied Dafa.”
“Yes, that's my wife!” my husband said.
When my husband got into the taxi, the driver recognized our son and told him the story. He told my husband that he knew that Falun Dafa was really good, and he had already quit the communist party. I was really happy that he understood the facts.
Another time my mom met a taxi driver who had quit the Party after I clarified the facts to him. I was also happy to hear that. Master was encouraging me and helping me increase my confidence in truth-clarification.
Seeing my changes after practicing Dafa, many of my friends and family members also learned the facts about Dafa and know that Dafa is great.
My uncle was diagnosed with stomach cancer while working out of town. His family all worried about him. I told them to say often: “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” and Dafa would help them. They believed me and recited those words every day.
When my uncle went to the hospital for his next checkup, the doctor told him that he only had some inflammation and would recover after some infusions. His family all witnessed the miraculous power of Dafa.
My mother later introduced my uncle to Master's lectures. He listened to them every day.
During a family dinner, I further clarified the facts to him. My uncle said to people at the table that he was really impressed with my changes. I was like a completely different person after practicing Dafa. I told them that it was all because of Falun Dafa that I truly changed my heart.
Then the father of my sister-in-law stood up. “Let's have a toast. Falun Dafa is great! Cheers!” One after another, my family members stood up and raised their glasses. My eyes were full of tears.
Thank you, Master, for giving sentient beings the opportunity to understand the facts.
After cultivating for only a few years, I still have a lot of human attachments to remove. I believe that through Fa study and cultivation, I will make improvements and do better.
I know that Master has given me everything. My heart is full of the happiness of obtaining the Fa. I want to tell everyone in the world how lucky I am.
I want to cultivate myself better, assist Master in Fa rectification, save more sentient beings and fulfill my historic vows.
I welcome practitioners to point out anything improper in my sharing.