New Practitioner: “The Path I Must Take”
(Minghui.org) I am a relatively new practitioner who started to practice Falun Dafa in 2015. I live in the United State, however, I grew up in rural China.
When I was a little boy, my father advised me to study hard and leave the countryside. I joined the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) in college and graduated around the time of the Tiananmen massacre. This spurred me to move overseas to study.
I came to the United States in 1995, got a degree, was offered a job, and got married. In 1999, the CCP started the persecution against Falun Dafa. I had by that time read several lectures in Falun Dafa's main book, Zhuan Falun. However, I did not fully understand what I was reading.
My three-year-old son was diagnosed with autism in 2004. We saw experts, tried different kinds of medications, and sought to educate ourselves about this illness. I learned about a healing arts system called Heilkunst, which is a subset of homeopathy.
After I met several Western medical practitioners with supernatural skills, I was in awe and dreamed about becoming a Heilkunst doctor one day. I even wrote a book about Heilkunst, and a Chinese publisher agreed to publish it. But he abruptly changed his mind!
I went into a depression in May 2014 and had to work from home. Other than working and doing household chores, I did not care about the outside world or read books at all. My son was not doing well, and I felt the onset of a crisis, but could not do anything about it.
Dafa Could Make a Difference
I then had a dream in which Master Li Hongzhi asked me if I wanted to learn Falun Dafa, and I said yes. Two months later, I started to read Zhuan Falun again.
I felt so good when reading Zhuan Falun that I thought I finally found the cultivation path that would make a difference.
My family saw that I started practicing Dafa when they returned from a trip to Hong Kong. My wife was against it because she was a Christian. But, I did my best to diligently cultivate and be more patient. To avoid conflicts, I practiced the exercises when she was not at home, or after midnight.
My wife said she did not want to see Zhuan Falun, so I hid it. She then eased up on her objection, so I joined a local group practice. I believed that my practicing Dafa would benefit our family. However, my cultivation state was not very stable.
Master kept guiding me through my dreams. During that time, I could feel the solemnness of cultivation. My son's health improved, and my family became more harmonious.
Life Is Full of Hope
When I first participated in the group Fa study, my wife asked me to come home early, or she would lock me out. I felt this was a test, because studying the Fa was very important. Dafa provided me with a true path.
Gradually, I came to understand the teachings. Master used simple words and explained everything much clearer than anything I had read before.
I read Zhuan Falun once every week, and also read Master's other articles. My depression gradually disappeared. I also withdrew from the CCP and convinced my wife to do the same.
I invited my parents to visit us and bought them tickets to see Shen Yun Performing Arts. Both of them liked the performance. Afterwards, my mother agreed to withdraw from the CCP. Both my parents know that Falun Dafa is good.
My son watched the show as well. He then accompanied me to a tourist site to clarify the truth about Dafa every weekend. Fellow practitioners suggested that I play Master's lectures for my son in the car. After a while, my son asked me to buy the English version Zhuan Falun for him, and he, too, joined the group Fa study.
All we need to do is study the teachings and live by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. After several months of studying the Fa, my son finally felt that his life was full of hope.
Letting Go of Attachments
On my cultivation path, I need to get rid of attachments, such as being afraid, feeling ashamed when others see my weaknesses, and being excited when others see my strengths. It is not easy, but Master helps by giving me hints along the way.
“It is not that it’s painful on the path of cultivation,Karma of lifetimes and lifetimes impedes;”(“Causality” from Hong Yin)
Another issue that came up for me was being too afraid of suffering. Later, I realized being afraid would not solve the issue; I needed to endure suffering so I can eliminate karma.
Occasionally, I could not stop myself from arguing with my wife. She would then start to talk negatively about Dafa. But every time I stopped arguing and started sending forth righteous thoughts, then she would stop too.
I knew this was interference by the old forces. Gradually, my wife understood the importance of my sending forth righteous thoughts.
The Challenge of a Writing Project
I joined a truth clarification writing project. I wrote novels and books before, but this was different. Practitioners' writings were clear and honest views, while my style seemed to be too boastful. The coordinator of the project encouraged me to let go of the communist indoctrination that I had experienced in China. This awareness led to a positive change in my writing.
This was initially a great challenge for me, as I had to face my shortcomings and attachments. As a practitioner, I know I need to restrain my emotions and stay calm.
In order to help my family understand Falun Dafa, I had to change and become a better person. I know I am gradually improving, and that this is the path I must take.