(Minghui.org) I started to cultivate in Falun Dafa at the beginning of 2013. I remember that not long after I started the practice, my cousin, who is also a practitioner, came to stay with me for a little while. She kept complaining about her parents-in-law, saying that they didn’t buy her a house as they had promised, and instead they started making plans for the unborn baby she was carrying. I didn’t like what she was saying. I thought she was not acting like a cultivator at all, because she had so many human attachments and strong notions about things.
I told her directly, “You have such strong attachments to competitiveness, self-interest, vanity and selfishness. I thought you didn’t care much about fame and gain, and you were able to handle things quite well. But now I can see you have so many attachments. You are the daughter-in-law and you should show filial respect to them. You are a cultivator and should have a higher standard for yourself. You used to say a lot of good things about them. Now you say they're not good. You need to check whether your change of heart was caused by your own attachments.”
My cousin started arguing with me. “I know I have these attachments,” she said, “but I cannot let go of them. I can't reach the standard set by Master. But can you? Don’t you also want to have a house? Have you ever cooked a meal for your mother-in-law? I have been pretty nice to them and I often cook for them. I’ve never argued in their presence, but you did when you had conflicts with them.”
I was shocked, as this was the first time my cousin had talked to me this way. She had always shown respect towards me. I couldn’t keep calm and started arguing with her, using Fa teachings to justify my points. She realized that I was angry with her, but still kept at it.
Learning to Search Inward
After my cousin left, I started to calm down and thought, “Why is it that I have all the attachments that I saw in my cousin?” I opened a Dafa book and a line jumped out at me: “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”)
All of a sudden, I saw the light and saw my attachments. I still held a big grudge against my mother-in-law because she didn’t help me with looking after my child; I also couldn’t take criticism and would explode if anyone criticized me. I realized that the way I had behaved must have brought shame to Dafa.
I said to Master in my heart: It’s all my fault. I will rectify myself and get rid of my resentment toward my mother-in-law with righteous thoughts. I want to follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, not the Party culture, imbued with the theory of “falsehood, evil and fighting.”
Now My Mother-in-law Smiles at Me from Her Heart
I went to my mother-in-law and said, “Mom, I’m wrong. I’m a Dafa practitioner and I will conduct myself according to Master’s standards. I will do better.”
The process of letting go of my attachments was quite painful, but I did better and better, as I let go of my attachments and human notions. Over a period of one year, I finally managed to completely remove my resentment and notions against my mother-in-law. Now she smiles at me from inside her heart.
Letting Go of the Attachment to Self-interest
Last year, a colleague of mine lost a pair of shoes, part of the company merchandise under our care, but she tried to shift the blame and wanted me and another coworker to pay for the loss.
I felt quite angry. Still I paid for the loss, but it remained a lump in my throat. I failed to look within.
A few days ago, another colleague lost a bag, which cost twice as much as the pair of shoes we paid for last year. She said it was her fault at the beginning, but later she changed her story and shirked her responsibility. Again, another colleague and I had to pay for the loss in the end. This time, I didn’t get angry and thought it would be too much for her to pay on her own. It wouldn’t hurt much if I shared a bit. However, I still thought that she cared too much about money, and that she was doing something bad to herself, even though she might feel she had gained the advantage. In my heart, I didn’t want to lose too much.
On my way home, I thought, “Why is it that I always come across such things? Is there an attachment that I need to let go of on my part?” When I started to look within myself, I suddenly realized my attachment to self-interest. I was the one who put too much thought on money. This was an opportunity that Master had arranged for me to relinquish my attachment to self-interest.
When I found my own attachment, everything suddenly made sense and I became so clear-minded.
Category: Improving Oneself
