(Minghui.org) Practicing Falun Dafa for me was a turning point, separating the me before I started to practice with the me after practicing. It is my good fortune to have become a Falun Dafa practitioner.
My Entire Family Became Solid and Joyful After Practicing Falun Dafa
I was narrow-minded and short-tempered before I started practicing Falun Dafa, and I was easily ignitable. When I was in my angry state, I was incapable of listening to reason. During fights with my husband, I would even resort to picking up a knife.
My relationship with my parents-in-law was also estranged. I had once had a thought, “Don’t expect you’ll be living with me when you guys get old.”
I was completely lacking in traditional feminine virtue and charm. In my ignorance, I had accumulated a lot of karma, so much so I was riddled with all kinds of illness in my 30s.
It was my good fortune to have found Falun Dafa in 1997. I felt deep in my heart that it was the genuine Buddha Fa and that I shouldn’t pass up the opportunity. I must cultivate to the end.
It took half a year to memorize the more than 300 pages of Falun Dafa’s main text, Zhuan Falun. From that, I enlightened to many Fa principles. I understood that we do not have just one lifetime, that there are good and bad retributions, and that our bad luck and suffering are all paying back past debts.
I learned the cosmos has the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance that determines if a person is good or bad. If we follow it, we are good people, otherwise we are truly bad.
My worldview changed, and the capacity in my heart expanded. Master purified my body.
My entire family, my parents-in-law, my husband, my son, my grandchild, have all started to practice. We are all grateful for Dafa’s grace. I thank Master from the bottom of my heart and soul.
One of my relatives once said to me, “Why are you wasting time and energy on practicing Falun Dafa?”
I answered her in all seriousness, “You make casual remarks on things you don’t quite understand. Do you know anything about Falun Dafa?
“What we do is the most righteous.You’ve seen what I used to be like. You’ve also seen how much I have changed.
“I enjoy good health through practicing Falun Dafa. No matter how much I do and how tired I am, I only feel there is not enough time to do everything that I need and want to do. I never once feel I can’t withstand anything physically.
“Several years ago I opened a clothing store and had to work overtime for five days and five nights. I only had one hour of sleep every day, yet I felt full of energy. Can a non-practitioner do that?
“Dafa practitioners are demonstrating righteous energy. No matter at home or out in society, practitioners do not create or intensify contradictions, because we understand the consequences, and we understand this principle.
“In my family, there are people of both the older and younger generations. I take care of everything in the house. I never complain or feel bitter.
“We also try to think of others first. We try to avoid having contradictions among ourselves. If we do, we will rectify ourselves at once within the principles of Falun Dafa, and things will pass quickly.
“By the grace of Dafa, our family life is one of lightheartedness, happiness, and fulfillment.
“In this day and age, I don’t care how much money you have, you won’t really find a household that is truly living in peace and harmony. I dare say our family is one of high quality. That is the power of Dafa.
“If the Communist Party did not persecute Falun Dafa, how many more people would be practicing? Wouldn’t our society be more peaceful? Would we be in need of so many laws? Will we need to spend so much on fighting corruption?
“The single factor that is causing so much societal chaos is the Communist Party.”
The relative couldn’t help but remark, “It is really so. You are absolutely right.”
Extended Family Is An Excellent Cultivation Environment
My parents-in-law used to live with my husband’s brother. However because my brother-in-law found an out-of-town job and could no longer take care of his parents, my husband and I decided we would invite the elderly couple to live with us.
At first, because I had never lived with my parents-in-law, things didn’t come easy. There were discrepancies between our ideas, personalities, habits, likes and dislikes, so that there were lots of adjustments to make.
Fortunately, we are all Dafa disciples. We were able to weigh everything within the Fa when contradictions arose. We learned to tolerate each other. When we ran into occasional conflicts, we were able to try our best to step back, look at things within the Fa, and have things resolved.
Master says:
“If [a cultivator] can look within when going through that, he will be able to find his shortcomings. If the conflict or tension were not brought to the surface or didn't appear, you wouldn't be able to discover your attachments and identify them. When all is calm and smooth, can you cultivate yourself?” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference VII)
All at once, I understood the true source of conflicts. I had not truly cultivated away my long-standing attachments to combativeness, to never wanting to back down, to always wanting to win, even to meanness and wickedness.
Living with my parents-in-law was not accidental. It was an environment arranged by Master to expose my attachments so I could work on them.
I thank Master for giving me that great opportunity.
Resolving Everything with Benevolence
Toward the end of 2015, my son informed me his wife wanted a divorce.
He told me, “I tried my best to dissuade her, but she has already found somebody else. I have no choice. So I agreed.”
My brain was in a turmoil. I thought, “We have always been good to her. How can she be so cruel and selfish as to leave her husband and their child?”
My son saw my expression and said, “Mom, don’t get upset. Let it be.”
His words brought me around. I thought, “Why does this happen to us? We are a family of cultivators. What I have been thinking about just now, complaining, blaming, are all seeking outward causes. That should not be. Master teaches us to look inward, to think from the other’s position.”
So, I began to look inward.
My daughter-in-law wanted a divorce, to leave this family. I have to bear some responsibility. When she was married into our family and had given birth to a son, she found work away from home and so had left her son in our care.
Whenever she came home for visits, our son always treated her well, but because they lived apart, they hadn’t really communicated well or frequently.
We all thought everything was fine, but we really had no idea how she lived, whether she had ever run into any pain or suffering. The world outside was so bad, how did she live through all those years by herself? I personally hadn’t shown concern.
Would I have done that with my own daughter? I truly had not done well my responsibility as a mother-in-law.
And so, I went to pay her a visit. I said to her, “Can you tell me why you want a divorce? If it is my fault, if it is any of our fault, we will make amends. We don’t want you to leave this family.”
She cried, “It’s not any of your fault. You’ve always treated me better than my own parents.”
“Then why?”
But she couldn’t say. Later, she mentioned that our son didn’t earn enough money to support his family.
I said, “It’s true he doesn’t earn big money, but he tries very hard. You have to look at his moral character. Since he entered into Dafa cultivation, he has corrected all his bad habits. You know that he always has your best interests at heart. That’s not something everybody can do.
“Marriage is predestined. We need to cherish such a relationship. Moreover, you have a child together. He is already 10 years old, No matter how loving a grandmother is, that is no replacement for a mother’s love. Parenting is also a mother’s responsibility.
“I realize divorce is commonplace nowadays, and it is something fashionable, but it is contrary to divine design and against human nature.”
We talked a lot but her mind was made up. It is possible that their predestined relationship has come to an end.
My son told me, “Her mother is sick. This is already close to the New Year. She doesn’t want her mother to know about this, so she won’t be going home for the New Year but will spend the day by herself. When the New Year is over, we will go to the government to apply for a divorce.”
I held my daughter-in-law’s hands and said to her, “Even if you are getting a divorce, but we have spent all these years together, how can I bear to let you spend the New Year by yourself. I sincerely invite you to spend the day with us.”
My daughter-in-law held me in an embrace and sobbed. We had a good cry together.
My son and I went together to prepare for our New Year feast. We bought everything my daughter-in-law loves.
As is our custom, my son went to wish his mother-in-law and her family members a Happy New Year on New Year’s Eve, and my daughter-in-law went with her son the next day to visit her mother.
My grandson came home the following day, but his mother stayed at her mother’s for a week.
When my daughter-in-law returned, they filed for divorce.
The adults managed to remain superficially calm, but the 10-year-old had an inkling of the impending event.
His great aunt told him the truth. But he had also overheard his mother and her new friend’s phone conversation and understood. So, when his parents left together to have their divorce officiated, he cried and had a tantrum, and could not calm down or be comforted.
It lasted for several days. One minute he wanted his mother, the next minute he hated his mother. He wouldn’t talk to his mother when she called. He became very agitated.
I finally had a serious talk with the young man, I said, “Yes, your mother and father are divorced.
I told him what Master said:
“But do you know what a bad person is and what a good person is? If your mind is filled with hatred and malice, think about it, everyone: what kind of a being would one be? And it will show in your conduct and even in your looks, and people will see evil in you.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
I told him, “Your mother has left you, but she was the one who gave birth to you. Because you have a human life and a physical body, that’s how you are able to obtain Dafa. For that, you should be thankful to her, and not hate her. Master tells us to be good to everybody. Of course that includes your mother.”
My grandson finally calmed down.
One day, he actually answered his mother’s call, but he demanded of her, “Why did you divorce my dad?”
His mother tried to lie and tell him, “I didn’t divorce your dad. Don’t listen to what people say.”
The child wouldn’t believe her. He just kept on crying his heart out.
Listening to my grandson’s conversation with his mother, I couldn’t help myself. His sorrow moved me deeply. I allowed my heart to be affected.
I took over the phone and said to my daughter-in-law, “Don’t call your son any more. Stop hurting him. He can’t bear it any longer…”
On the one hand, being a grandmother, I felt forced to speak up for my grandson. On the other hand, I realized I am a Dafa practitioner and should be detached from this kind of ordinary people’s things. I knew this was a tribulation I must overcome.
I was swaying back and forth, finding it difficult to live by Master’s Fa principle to let go of my attachment to sentimentality.
It was afterwards that I found out what my son did.
Letting Go
When he realized he could not dissuade his wife from her adamancy to file for divorce, he decided he had to let go.
He began to think only of her welfare. He made tapes of stories on traditional Chinese culture on feminine virtues for her to listen to. He asked her not to follow the current tide and be swept away by bad influences. He reminded her people with decadent morality are the ones who would be eliminated.
My son told me, “I feel sorry for her. I pity this life. We have Master and Dafa. We will be okay, but she is leaving them behind. She wants to remove herself from our environment and lose herself in ordinary society’s big dye vat. That is extremely dangerous. Because Master says: “Indulging demonic nature, apart from the divine / After entering Hell, there’s no chance of getting out” (“Lacking All Restraint” in Hong Yin III)
Upon hearing what my son said, I felt truly ashamed. My son was the one who has been hurt the most, yet he was able to think for another life. How expansive is his heart! He has truly manifested what a Dafa disciple should think and behave.
From that I saw my deficiencies in cultivation. In my next phone conversation to my daughter-in-law, I apologized to her, “I did wrong. What I said to you was inappropriate. I am sorry. We will respect your choice and your decision. I will take good care of your son.”
My daughter-in-law cried at the other end of the line, she said to me, “It’s I who did wrong.”
At first, my husband did quite well and was able to remain cool. But when he saw the divorce agreement, which stated that after divorce the mother would have nothing to do with her son’s upbringing, my husband felt she has done us a great injustice.
All these years, our daughter-in-law worked away from home but had not offered us any financial assistance despite the fact that we were taking care of her son. Now, she would wash her hands entirely without regarding her son’s welfare.
After we concentrated on studying the Fa, he realized everything has its cause and effect, he was able to let go gradually.
My aged parents-in-law saw how their great-grandson suffered everyday, found it hard to bear, and came down with serious physical problems.
My father-in-law couldn’t sit up, couldn’t open his eyes, and lost control of his bladder and bowel.
My mother-in-law couldn’t get out of bed for four days, with a high fever and constant coughing, and lost her appetite.
We all knew these were illusions only Dafa can break through because Dafa is all powerful. So, we studied the Fa diligently and often.
Master says:
“You are unable to interfere with the lives of others, and neither can you control others’ fates, including those of your wife, sons, daughters, parents, or brothers. Can you decide those things?” (Zhuan Falun)
Fellow practitioners came over to do experience sharing with us. They helped us to elevate within the Fa. Very soon, my parents-in-law fully recovered.
Were it not for Dafa cultivation, I could imagine that with my parents-in-law’s old age, with their serious adverse physical manifestations, they most likely would have had to undergo medical treatment. Their conditions might even have taken their lives.
I couldn’t help but cry out from the bottom of my heart: “Falun Dafa is great! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is great!”
Every day when I go out to talk to people about Falun Dafa, my intention is to let people know the beauty and goodness of Dafa, to tell people my personal experiences of how I and my family benefitted from it, to break through the poisonous lies and deceit the Communist regime has shrouded on the world’s people, and to have people understand Falun Dafa and have a good future.
