(Minghui.org) At the time I first began to cultivate, whenever I heard a practitioner share a hint or dream, I really admired them, and I, too, wanted to experience those hints. Subconsciously I pursued that feeling.
As I enlightened more in cultivation, I became more rational in understanding the Fa principles. My pursuit of that feeling lessened, although it would still surface from time to time.
Identifying Why I Pursued Feelings in Cultivation
Several days ago, I dug inside to see my human attachments and identified a problem that frightened me when I realized it. I had one subconscious thought: Teacher seemed far away from me. I was cultivating alone and couldn't feel his existence.
Why did I have the feeling that Teacher seemed far away from me? Was it because I never experienced supernormal things? Or was it because of my own imagination about what cultivation should be like?
I realized it was both. I had been pursuing supernormal feelings, but I would never get them. As a practitioner, I thought that I should get hints from Teacher often, but I viewed it all with my own notions and seldom got the hints I wanted.
As my cultivation progressed, I learned more and more Fa principles. Dafa has changed my life and astounded me. Its power manifested everywhere. Then why did I feel Teacher was far away from me, while actually I did feel I was in Dafa?
Did I really need Teacher's hints to be enlightened? No, I know it clearly. So I asked myself why I needed Teacher's hints.
I finally saw that my pursuit of hints arose from pursuing feelings of being looked after by Teacher.
Discarding the Pursuit of Feelings and Establishing Righteous Belief in Dafa
Teacher said,
“Because the transformation of gong is very complex, what one feels accounts for nothing.” (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun)
Feelings can create false phenomena. If one relies on feelings, he enjoys the warm feelings of being cared for, and that reliance becomes stronger as time goes by.
Actually, whether one has righteous thoughts or not cannot be ascertained from the surface. Beings in other dimensions can easily control people's thoughts and make them behave like puppets, even though people might still feel that they are in control.
I realized that, as a Dafa practitioner, I should follow only Teacher's Fa teachings and not pursue any feelings I might have. When I was clear about this, that human feeling disappeared and disintegrated. I could then achieve tranquility while sitting in meditation.
I previously had a notion that only frequent hints and supernormal experiences could verify that Teacher cared for me; otherwise, I was just cultivating on my own. I could not be sure that Teacher was taking care of me.
Such a notion made me think that Teacher was far away and that I had not enlightened very much. I had relied on what I witnessed and needed to verify if Teacher was taking care of me or if I was cultivating well.
I realized that notions not aligned with Dafa must be dug out and disintegrated, or they will interfere with my cultivation.
Category: Improving Oneself
