Finally Stepping Out to Talk to People About Falun Gong
(Minghui.org) After much persuasion and urging on the part of my husband, I became a Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa) practitioner in May 1995.
I had been suffering from hypertension, heart disease, lacunar infarction, neurasthenia, etc., and couldn’t live a day without drugs. I even had to be hospitalized periodically.
Although I had been a medical doctor for many years, I couldn’t cure my own diseases. I began to feel life was really painful to live.
When my husband saw how my aunt’s health greatly improved after she started practicing Falun Gong, he wanted me to give it a try.
Shortly after I began, my health greatly improved. Before long, all my symptoms disappeared without a trace.
1. Jiang Zemin is at the root of the persecution
Before the persecution of Falun Gong began in 1999, my aunt, my mother-in-law, my mother, my younger sister, myself, and about a dozen others in my family all practiced Falun Gong.
Whenever we came together, our favorite topic of discussion was our individual enlightenment through cultivation.
We studied the Fa and practiced the exercises together in our living room.
The entire family enjoyed great harmony and peace. Our situation was an example of how, “the Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities.”
On July 20, 1999, Jiang Zemin launched the brutal persecution of Falun Gong. Our cultivation environment was destroyed. My practitioner family members, one by one, for different reasons, dropped out of Falun Gong practice.
I became the lone “diehard” in my family.
My husband was Party Secretary where he worked. Whatever the Party said, he had to do. That had become his mode of operation from years of involvement with Party politics.
My husband was an eyewitness to all the miracles manifested in my aunt and me under Dafa’s power, so had always been supportive of my practice. Yet as soon as Jiang launched the persecution, my husband did a complete about-face.
He said, “I know Falun Gong is good. If the Party allows us to practice, even I will practice. But the Party does not allow anybody to practice, and if you do so, you are looking to be killed!”
2. How Dafa helped to protect me at work
Before I took up Falun Gong, I had a reputation among my co-workers at the hospital as a “sickie”. My extreme high blood pressure had resulted in my having collapsed once while at work and I had to be carried off to the emergency room by my colleagues.
Those same colleagues had also personally witnessed not only the physical, but also the moral and mental improvements that came to me after I started practicing Falun Gong.
At the beginning of my practice, I was very diligent. I would always conduct myself in accordance with Dafa’s tenets of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, so that I consistently received high praise from colleagues, patients, and superiors.
Our hospital director once said to me, “If more of our employees would practice Falun Gong just like you, my life as the hospital director would be a breeze.”
Colleagues told me, “We don’t really know what Falun Gong is all about, but looking at you, we know Falun Gong has to be good.”
Everybody at the hospital, from top to bottom, knew that I practice Falun Gong. They all wanted to protect me, so nobody had ever thought about reporting me to the authorities. And so, at the beginning of the persecution, I was being left pretty much alone.
3. Human notions bring ruination to my cultivation
In June 2000, the article “Towards Consummation” was published. I did not study the Fa quietly, nor did I try to understand the content of the Fa, I only hung on to an extreme human notion: “I want to carry on toward consummation”.
That notion was accompanied by my attachments to combativeness and to showing-off.
I decided to participate in a group exercise session that was being held outdoors. As a result, I was arrested and taken to the police department.
I thus brought a shower of criticism on me and my family: “The wife of a Party leader practices Falun Gong and is protected by layers and layers of Party officials!”
All levels of leadership were involved and received harsh criticism. My husband had to go around offering apologies.
I became a target of serious monitoring by the authorities.
My human notions and attachments thus ruined my cultivation environment, and the fear of my husband’s wrath held me captive in my own home.
My husband believed I would adversely affect his career and his political future, so he watched me like a hawk. He refused to let me have the slightest contact with fellow practitioners.
Even when I received phone calls from non-practitioner friends or from patients, he would question me for half a day. And, when I returned home late from the hospital, I would have to give him a full accounting of what had transpired.
He even instructed my colleagues to keep a close watch over me and my actions.
4. A Moment of Regret on Tiananmen Square
Toward the end of 2000, I heard that there Beijing practitioners were coordinating a mass demonstration in support of Falun Dafa at Tiananmen Square. I didn’t want to be left out, so I decided to join them. However, when we arrived in Beijing, we found out that there was no such plan.
I felt relieved and called my husband so he wouldn’t worry. I also told him I just wanted to go to Tiananmen Square the following day to take a look and should be returning home after that.
The next morning, I went to Tiananmen Square. I saw group after group of Dafa disciples holding up banners and calling out: “Falun Dafa is good!” “Our Master is wrongfully attacked!”
The scene was magnificent and impressive. The most touching of all was a mother-daughter team, each holding a banner and calling out in unison: “Falun Dafa is good!”
Tears streamed down my face. I saw police rush over to arrest them and had a strong urge to rush over to join ranks with the practitioners.
But, my attachment to fear and the excuse of a promise to my husband prevented me from making any move.
In the meantime, my husband was worried that I could be arrested, so he drove all night to Beijing to find me.
He arrived at Tiananmen Square in time to witness what happened. He couldn’t help himself and spoke out in admiration, “They’re really something!”
When I heard what came from his heart, I was speechless with shame.
I knew I should be among those “really something” practitioners.
5. I finally got out to validate Dafa
By the end of 2012, because I had not been cultivating diligently and had remained in a state of numbness and sluggishness, the old forces took full advantage of my situation and I ended up showing severe symptoms of sickness karma.
I was coughing up blood and lost a lot of weight. My own professional diagnosis was that I might have lung cancer.
When that thought showed up in my consciousness, I negated it right away, but the thought grabbed hold of me in its tight grip and my condition grew worse and worse.
When I tried to study the Fa, I felt drowsy. When I sent righteous thoughts, my mind wandered. When I did the exercises, I was sometimes in a state of confusion.
One day in October 2013, I again became drowsy when studying the Fa. I was so out of it that my book actually fell out of my hands onto the floor.
I felt so hopeless. I burst into a loud weeping of despair.
“If I keep on like this, I will be finished. Whether I live or die is a small matter, but my death will adversely impact Dafa. Only Master can help me. Only Dafa can save me. I must go out to clarify the truth and validate Dafa. I must get out and be with other practitioners…”
My husband realized there was no way for him to stop me any longer. He went into a rage but finally announced, “Do whatever you want to do, but if you get arrested and locked up again, don’t expect me to come and get you out.”
6. Assimilating to the Fa
Fellow practitioners learned that I was willing to come out, they were all happy for me. One practitioner invited me to her house to study the Fa together.
Through intense Fa study, my condition significantly improved. When reading the Fa, the mistakes I used to make constantly, adding a word here or dropping a word there, were gradually less frequent.
I could also study the Fa at home with my heart at peace. I could once more concentrate while sending forth righteous thoughts. The illusionary symptoms of my sickness karma were likewise gradually dissipated.
When fellow practitioners first took me with them to distribute Dafa materials, my attachment to fear was still quite strong.
At home, when I would make truth clarification phone calls, I would be doing them stealthily behind my husband’s back.
One day, Master used my husband to enlighten me.
My husband said to me, “You want to make phone calls? Why don’t you do them openly and with confidence? What are you afraid of? Don’t do anything sneakily like a thief.”
He was right. When we are out clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings, we should feel sure of ourselves.
Assimilating to the Fa, my righteous thoughts gradually grew stronger.
One time, I made plans to distribute Dafa CDs with another practitioner. When the time came, the practitioner had to tend to something important, so I was left on my own.
I became hesitant, and wondered, “Can I do this by myself? There are 20 CDs...”
As soon as the thought surfaced, I immediately told myself, “Yes, I can. I have Dafa and Master. I most certainly can.”
At once, I asked for Master’s support, and ended up distributing the CDs more smoothly than I could ever have hoped for.
It felt like people had been waiting, so they would not only accept the CDs most happily but also repeatedly thank me.
And I, in turn, repeatedly thanked Master from the bottom of my heart.
I realized Master has already made arrangement for everything, and all we need to do is to do what we have to do and say what we have to say, and Master will hand the honor and mighty virtue to us.
One day, I went to a friend’s to clarify the truth. When I reached the second flight of stairs, I was coughing and panting ferociously. At once I realized evil was trying to interfere.
I said to Master in my heart.”Master, please help me. I cannot go like this to save people.”
I felt better at once. In fact, I talked to my friend for over an hour without coughing one bit.
It’s truly as Master says: “When disciples have ample righteous thoughts / Master has the power to turn back the tide” (“The Master-Disciple Bond” from Hong Yin Vol. II)
7. Choosing a divine path
After the “Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference” was published, I knew Master is telling us to bring criminal complaints against Jiang Zemin, and came to the realization that Fa-rectification has reached a new milestone and that we have to keep up with its process.
Our small Fa study group mobilized into action right away. In June 2015, we each mailed out our individual legal complaints against the former Chinese dictator Jiang Zemin, and had since received separate acknowledgment of the receipt of our complaints.
At first, I didn’t have the courage to let my husband on to what I did. But, after my complaint had been sent out, Master cleared out the fear elements in my field and I regained my courage.
In August that year, the Retirement Office came looking for my husband.
My husband asked me, “What have you done this time?”
I told him bravely and honestly, “I brought a lawsuit against Jiang Zemin!”
My husband was about to blow up, but he caught himself.
Instead, he said, “You’re something else. You’re getting more and more capable and audacious.”
That’s right. I dared to sue Jiang. What will I not dare to do? I definitely felt I have truly come out. I have gotten out of being a human, onto being a God.
I know for sure, in comparison to more diligent practitioners, I have a long way to go. But my heart is filled with hope.
“Cultivation is the cornerstone of what we do, and saving people is our responsibility. Both of these things need to be done well.”(“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
I will remember carefully Master’s teaching. I will follow Master’s Fa-rectification process closely, do well the three things, and grasp every opportunity to save people, so as to follow Master home.