Falun Dafa Helped Me to Improve My Relationship with My Mother-in-law
(Minghui.org) I used to be a selfish person and I had many health problems. I am so grateful to Falun Dafa and its founder Master Li for changing my life. Now I am not only healthy, but also a kind-hearted person who is not concerned about material gain. I used to hate my mother-in-law, and now she often proudly tells others that I am her daughter-in-law.
By seeing the changes in me, my husband's family no longer objects to my practicing Falun Dafa. Instead, they all know that Falun Dafa is good. Eleven of my family members have quit the Chinese Communist Party and its associated organizations.
Eliminating the Attachment to Resentment
I got married in 1980. The next year, my daughter was born. However, my mother-in-law is a very traditional woman who wanted only a grandson. She forced me and my baby daughter to move to an addition to the main house. It was a dark, damp, and stinky little room measuring only 6-square meters (about 65 square feet).
Every day, she just gave me one bowl of noodles. I was angry and desperate during that time. I hated my mother-in-law, but I was afraid to tell her. As a result, my health suffered. I developed many illnesses, including rheumatoid arthritis, migraines, heart disease, cervical spondylosis, stomach problems, and sciatica. Walking without help was very difficult for me.
Once I bought my mother-in-law a birthday gift. For some unknown reason, she became very angry. She accused me of giving her a death curse. She came to my room with the gift and railed at me for hours, well into the night. I kept apologizing to her, but I couldn't understand her anger and developed even more hatred in my heart.
I felt my world was coming to an end.
Fortunately I learned about Falun Dafa in October 1995 and started to practice it. I couldn't stop reading Zhuan Falun, and I diligently did the exercises in the morning and evening.
In less than a month, all my illnesses were gone. I had never felt so good. I improved both physically and mentally. I started to think positively and always tried to be kind to others. Gradually my resentment to my mother-in-law disappeared.
It has been 21 years since I started practicing Falun Dafa. I don't need to take medication anymore and I have been very happy.
Eliminating the Attachment to Material Gain
“Of course, while we’re cultivating in the ordinary world we’re supposed to respect our parents and be good to them, just as we should teach our kids and discipline them. In every situation we should be good to others and be kind to people, let alone your family members. We should treat everyone the same, be good to our parents and our kids, and always be considerate of others. Then your heart isn’t a selfish one when you do that, but a compassionate one—it’s compassion.” (Zhuan Falun)
I moved to a new house in 1998, and my mother-in-law asked me to give her the key to my company-assigned old house (it was common in the 1990s for Chinese companies to assign housing units to employees). She wanted to turn it into a laundry facility.
After some time, I came back to the old house and found that all my clothes and belongings were gone. My mother-in-law told me, “I gave some of your clothes to our relatives and kept some for myself, and sold the rest. I plan to rent out the house.”
I was very angry, as she had not consulted with me about any of this. However, I suddenly remembered that Master said,
“Our discipline focuses directly on your mind. When something is at stake, or when you’re having problems with somebody, whether you can take those things lightly, that’s the key.” (Zhuan Falun).
I told myself, “I'm a practitioner, and I must follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I should act as a true practitioner.”
Soon, she rented my house out. As I kept paying monthly housing fees to my company, she was collecting 400 yuan per month from her tenants. She got 4,800 Yuan every year for 12 years, but never reimbursed me.
I was very upset that she profited at my expense. I later calmed down to find peace in the Fa. I learned that as a practitioner, we shouldn't fight as normal people do, and we should always put ourselves in other's shoes. I knew that my mother-in-law had been very poor as a child and she was obsessed with money. Well, just let it be, I decided.
My mother-in-law has very poor health. I often took her to her medical appointments. Whenever she had to stay in the hospital, I always went to the hospital to take care of her. When people asked if I was her daughter, she always proudly replied, “She is my daughter-in-law.”
However, I was having internal struggles. Being a good daughter-in-law was not as easy as it looked. I couldn't do it without reminding myself every second that I was a true practitioner and I had to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance all the time.
Because of urban development in our area, my parents-in-law had to move out of her old house. According to the rules of compensation, we should get ten houses, including four large homes. According to Chinese tradition, since my husband is the oldest son, he should have inherited all the houses.
However, my sisters-in-law said, “Brother has no son. The houses should be inherited by grandsons. Thus we should get a share too.” My parents-in-law then decided to give each of their four children one big house, and they kept the smaller ones.
At that moment, I remembered,
“Right in the thick of this complicated ordinary people’s environment you’re clearheaded, you get shortchanged while you know full well what’s happening, and when other folks compromise your best interests you don’t fight tooth and nail like they do, and you’re taken advantage of while all kinds of things try to drag your character down. In a grueling environment like this you temper your will, you improve your character, and here, with all kinds of bad thoughts from ordinary people preying on you, you manage to come out of it detached.” (Zhuan Falun).
Thus I didn't argue with them, and accepted whatever they decided.
However, after that, my mother-in-law was upset again. She said she couldn't sleep in a small house. I then told her that she could have our big house. She was very happy. My three sisters-in-law were very appreciative. One said, “Falun Dafa practitioners are indeed good people!”