Considering Others First
(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner and would like to share with you how I cultivated away selfishness and now consider others first.
Letting Go of Personal Interests
I saw the book Zhuan Falun at my in-law's home during the Chinese New Year on February 17, 1999. The two characters “Buddha's Fa” in the book shook me. I knew immediately that this was a cultivation way.
Master looked so familiar to me when I saw his photo in the book. I felt like I had seen him somewhere. I started to read the book right away and understood the answers to many questions I’d had for a long time. My view of the world and life changed dramatically.
I bought a copy of Zhuan Falun and read it every day and underwent a huge changes, both physically and mentally.
We lived in a housing unit provided by my husband's company after we got married. My mother-in-law once said that she would buy us an apartment after she sold the crops from their land. But she gave the money to her eldest son instead.
This perplexed me because he had his own apartment and earned good money running an ice cream shop.
I was unemployed at that time, and my husband's company was doing poorly and owed him six months’ back pay. Things were very tight financially. I was upset, but I knew Master told us not to pursue fame and personal interest. With Master's Fa in my mind, I gradually calmed down.
We wanted to move out of the company residence, but we had no money to rent an apartment. I asked for help from his eldest brother and wife, but they refused to lend us any money. His wife said that we'd better stay in the company housing, as it was a free accommodation without a utility fee.
Then an amazing thing happened. I sold some stocks that I had before I married, and the income just covered our rent for a year.
“If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!”” (Zhuan Falun)
That was so true. I experienced this time and again!
After the onset of the persecution of Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999, my husband and I left our village to avoid any harassment. We went to work in the city and borrowed some money from a friend. All of my husband’s wages went to pay our rent. We lived frugally.
One day, I found an envelope in the street with 2600 yuan and a business card inside it. That was a lot of money to me. I tried to call the owner, but he did not answer. My husband then tried to call him the next day but got no response.
Soon after this incident, I saw a fat wallet. I guessed there were thousands of yuan in it, but I did not pick it up because I remembered the moral wisdom of the ancients was to “leave lost goods where they are.” I was not tempted to pick up the money this time. I had passed the test!
Helping My Mother-In-Law Wholeheartedly
A year later, my husband and I had good jobs with higher wages. We planned to save up to buy an apartment.
One day, my father-in-law called to tell us his eldest son had lost his business, and he was also spending money on women. He was 300,000 yuan in debt, and the lender was threatening him.
My father-in-law was in agony and gave his wife's salary card to the lender. I intended to give him all our savings. My husband was very angry and did not agree. I told him that he should not abandon his eldest brother, and nobody else would help him if we didn’t. My husband was very moved and sent the money home.
We sent money to my in-laws twice a year for several years and only kept a small amount for ourselves. My mother-in-law was very touched and praised me highly to everyone she knew.
I also got a call from my husband's uncle, who said I was the most caring child in his extended family.
I cultivated myself according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in my daily life. My family members had great respect for me.
Treating My Mother-In-Law with Compassion
My sister-in-law was sentenced to three years in jail in September 2008 for clarifying the truth to people. I visited her in prison and the police tried to arrest me. My family faced huge pressure, and my husband sent our three-year-old son away and wanted to divorce me.
My in-laws called to try to persuade me to agree to a divorce. They said that their son could remarry me again in the future. They worried that their son might be implicated due to my faith. They quickly forgot that I was their best daughter-in-law!
I decided to talk to my husband after I calmed down. We ended up not getting divorced, but the betrayal of his family members hurt me deeply. I kept suppressing my resentment by studying Master's Fa. Gradually, I was able to forgive them.
When I went to see my in-laws during the Chinese New Year, I said to my mother-in-law, “I was angry with you because you hurt me. I can talk to you now because I do not resent you anymore.”
She told me that she had no choice back then and cried.
I now had a deeper understanding of the principle of forbearance through this incident. It is a boundless compassion and consideration for others under any circumstances. It is forgiving and accepting those who have hurt you.
Accepting an Unreasonable Request with Ease
My mother-in-law later asked us to buy an apartment for her after she heard about our salaries. She cried, yelled, and quarreled with my husband on New Year's Eve and made our whole family unhappy.
I then persuaded my husband to buy an apartment for his parents.
But in my heart I felt it was unfair. We were contributing to the purchase of the apartment for my in-laws where their eldest son now lives. Now my mother-in-law was asking us to buy another apartment for her!
I kept asking myself why I felt wronged. I was a Dafa practitioner. Master asks us to let go of the attachment to personal interest. We are obliged to look after our parents.
I had cultivated for so many years. How come I still could not let go of self interest?
Master requires us:
“From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Though I still have a long way to go to reach that realm, I feel happy inside when I can let go of myself and consider others first.