Casting Off the Attachment of Competitiveness Improves My Relationship with My Husband
(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Gong for 12 years. Only recently have I made a major breakthrough in my relationship with my husband.
Being an Over-Achiever Cost Me My Health
From middle school through college, I was a top student in all my classes. I was extremely competitive and worked very hard to be a good student.
However, I was not always as successful as my classmates or, later, as my co-workers. This made me envy them.
I developed heart disease, stomach disease, and suffered nightly from insomnia. One day at work I was waiting for a meeting and passed out.
Over the years I went to see many doctors. My health did not improve. I lost my enthusiasm for life and even thought about running away to the mountains to cultivate in solitude.
Ailments Disappear after Practicing Falun Gong for Three Months
The most unforgettable day my life was May 17, 1998. That is the day I first heard about Falun Gong. Shortly thereafter I borrowed the book Zhuan Falun from a co-worker. I started to read it and that night I slept well for the first time in many years. Since then I have no longer suffered with insomnia.
Nearly three months after I began to practice Falun Gong, all of the ailments I suffered from were gone. I also gained some much needed weight on my thin frame. I had a spring in my step. Everyone who knew me said I had changed completely, and many of them wanted to learn Falun Dafa, too. They knew Falun Gong was based on the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and required its practitioners to be kind.
My Husband Lost His Temper with Me
My husband supported me a lot when I started to practice. He bought Falun Gong books for me, he read Zhuan Falun, and he did exercises for several days at the practice site.
But after the persecution began in 1999, my husband gave up the practice. He did not object to me practicing Falun Gong at home, but did not want me to participate in any Dafa projects.
Ever since my husband and I were married, I had a tendency to look down on him, thinking I was better than him in every way. So, at home, I acted like the boss. Whatever he said, I would argue with him.
My husband loved to read. He bought all kinds of qigong, religious, and other books. After I took up the practice of Falun Gong, I realized that I should clear out all the qigong books and the books filled with Party culture.
I did not consult him about this. When he went to work outside of the city, I gathered up all those books and got rid of them.
When he came home and discovered many of his books were gone, he was upset with me and lost his temper. His anger caused him to say things against Falun Gong and the founder of Falun Gong, Master Li Hongzhi. He even talked about divorcing me.
I later remembered that Master told us if conflicts happened between Dafa disciples and everyday people, Dafa disciples should take the blame completely. I looked within. Then I went to my husband and apologized to him sincerely. I promised I would not do anything like that again. After that he stopped talking about divorce.
Cultivating Myself to Improve the Relationship
My husband never mentioned divorce again, but he did bring up the incident now and then and would say mean things to me.
Since my husband was working outside the city, I often had time to work on Dafa projects. When he took a break from work and came home, he was insistent that I not do Dafa projects. He did not want to worry about my safety. I did not want to argue with him, so there were times when I had to take a break from my Dafa work.
My husband started to complain that he did not feel well beginning in 2014. When he was at home, he had to rest more. I realized it was time for me to resolve the problem in my relationship with him. Otherwise, I could not do Dafa work.
I studied the Fa and kept looking within. I found my strong competitiveness and my attachment to self. I always opposed him whenever he talked. I refused to accept different opinions and I did not respect others. Realizing that, I started to send righteous thoughts to get rid of that bad stuff.
From then on, whenever he expressed his opinion, I did not oppose him even when I knew what he said was wrong based on the Fa. I realized that it did not matter who was right or who was wrong.
I had a vivid dream in which a dark demon covered my husband's head with a dark cloth. In everyday life, my husband was filled with all kinds of bad stuff from society even though he liked to read religious books. So I sent righteous thoughts to dissolve the demon.
When my xinxing improved, my home environment improved. My husband began to do the grocery shopping and cooking. I began to clean the house and wash clothes and the dishes.
Now my husband reads the Epoch Times every day. He also reads Falun Gong materials and has stopped objecting to my working on Dafa projects.
Both my husband and I come from the countryside. I treat both of our families – parents and siblings - well. I helped them understand the truth about Falun Gong. All of them quit the CCP. They all know Falun Gong is good, and many of them began to practice.