My Cultivation State: Then and Now

(Minghui.org) Master talked in several of his recent Fa lectures about “cultivating as if you were just starting.” When I studied the lecture “Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day,” I read again:

“Cultivate with the heart you once had, and success is certain.”

I have been cultivating for many years. Why do I still feel so far away from Buddha-hood? I studied Master's Fa with this in mind, and I compared my current cultivation state with the one I had when I first obtained the Fa.

Attitude

Then: I was respectful toward Dafa and veteran practitioners. I was attentive and paid close attention when I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts. When others pointed out my shortcomings, I immediately took action to correct my problems, and was grateful to the one who pointed them out to me. Many miraculous things happened because of my sincere heart.

Now: My mind wonders when I study the Fa. Wild thoughts emerge during my exercises. I sometimes doze off while sending forth righteous thoughts. I cannot always accomplish all of the following every day: reading a lecture of Zhuan Falun, doing the five exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts at the four set times. Even if I have done the three things, the quality may not be good.

Behavior

Then: I absolutely adhered to the rules of no smoking, drinking, promiscuity, lies, stealing, robbery, killing, fighting back, or cursing back.

Now: I think I have learned a great deal from the Fa, and that I have cultivated well, however fellow practitioners' ideas and suggestions are hard to accept at times.

The most scary part is that I use Master's Fa to cover up my attachments. For example, I use the safety issue to cover up my fear. I use conforming to everyday people to cover my attachment to fame, personal gain, and sentimentality. I use everyday people logic to judge and comment about fellow practitioners. This has led to interference in group cooperation and coordination.

Cooperation

Then: When new and veteran practitioners collaborated to spread and validate the Fa, there were no complaints or gaps. Everyone strove to do the most difficult and hardest jobs. We pointed out each others' shortcomings with compassion. Sometimes the other persons were truly moved. We truly showed that the whole body of Dafa practitioners was a pure land.

Now: When a fellow practitioner gains a bit of reputation among practitioners, that person believes that he or she is cultivating better, has a deeper understanding, enlightens well, and comments on this or that problem of others.

That practitioner forgets to search within and cultivate well, and complains and criticizes others for “not cooperating” whenever a conflict surfaces. One's own heart interferes with the group. I realized that this is Party culture surfacing. As Dafa practitioners we must eliminate it.

Conclusion

After comparing my cultivation state of then and now, I am determined to find a way to cultivate as if I was just starting.

The 11th China Fahui “Call for Articles” notice asks that we write about how we have elevated our xinxing in our cultivation. I paused and thought, “It may be easy for me to write about exposing the persecution, helping fellow practitioners to return to cultivation, and making efforts in validating the Fa. But it will be difficult to write something on how to improve my xinxing.”

I recall a story I once read:

A ten-year-old little taoist saw a horse tied to a pole. The horse had finished eating all the grass inside a circle and began running in circles. The little taoist asked his master why the horse was running in circles. Without looking at the horse, the master replied, “It runs in circles because the rope is not severed.”

The boy clapped and laughed, “Master, you are great! You saw the rope?” The master said, “What I told you was a principle in cultivation. As a cultivator, any single attachment will make you go round and round, and prevent you from being diligent and elevating.”

I wrote this article to remind and encourage myself to be more diligent in my cultivation. Knowing the problem is the first step towards correcting it. Please point out if anything I have mentioned deviates from the Fa.