Look Inward in Truth-clarification

(Minghui.org) After I went out to distribute truth-clarification materials today, I enlightened to something on the relationship between elevating xinxing and its effect in saving sentient beings.

After I finished listening to Master's lectures and sending forth righteous thoughts at 4 p.m., I went out with Shen Yun Performing Arts DVDs and truth-clarification materials. Things went well at first, and everyone was happy to take what I had, and even said, “Thank you!” I felt really happy.

When I arrived at a park, I only had two DVDs left. I saw two girls and approached them. They were middle school students. I told them, “I have Shen Yun DVDs, and it is very beautiful. It is about traditional Chinese culture from 5,000 years of history, such as traditional Chinese classical dance and folk dance. It is the #1 show in the world.” One girl took the DVD and read the cover carefully. I then talked to the other girl, and she took one, too. They even asked me where the shows were. I told them, “You cannot see it now, only on a DVD player. Just take a look when you get home.” Then I left.

Not long after I left, I looked back and saw the second girl return to her seat from the trash can. I was afraid they had thrown away my DVDs, so I went back and saw them in the trash under two plastic cups. I picked up the DVDs and wiped them clean. I felt frustrated and a little angry and resentful. I went to talk to them again: “These DVDs are very precious - you cannot even buy them. I gave them to you, but you threw them away. That is wrong.” They said, “We didn't.” I asked where they put the DVDs, and they said, “They are just here.” But they could not find them in their handbags. At last, they said, “We are sorry.”

I told them, “You threw it away without watching it. What a pity! If you don't want it, you can give it back to me. Not everyone can see it; there has to be a pre-destined relationship. If you watch it, you could be saved.” They asked, “Why?” I knew people had seen me picking up stuff out of the trash can, and there were many people around. I was afraid of getting into trouble if I could not clarify the truth well. I then told the girls, “I cannot explain it in a few words. You would understand after watching it. Don't miss this chance.”

I then tried to give the DVDs to two people nearby. One would not take it. The other took it at first, but then gave it back. I had to move forward. I saw a girl playing outside with her cell phone and went to say hello. Just as I got ready to take out the DVD, she went away. I felt even more frustrated, and my whole heart was disturbed. The happiness I felt at the beginning was all gone, and I went home in a bad mood.

When I got home, I still felt sad. I thought it over for a long time and finally found many attachments: to happiness, to doing things with intentions, to hatred, to fear, and to impatience. I thought I was done if I could give out the DVDs.

I then remembered that when I gave informational materials to my friends, they all took them and agreed to read them just to keep from hurting my feelings. But later on when we met, their attitude toward Dafa showed they were still brainwashed by the CCP. Because of sentimentality and lack of righteous thoughts, I had too many gaps and caused losses in saving sentient beings.