(Minghui.org) I began my cultivation practice in 1998. However, I did not know how to truly cultivate until I went through a tribulation of sickness karma. Many times I knelt in front of Master's image and implored our compassionate Master to save me by helping to cleanse my mind and body. Compassionate Master gave me many hints, held my hand, and accompanied me through every tribulation. During the tribulations, I read many fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles and was greatly encouraged. This increased my confidence in my ability to pass the tests.
Uterine Fibroid
Due to fear, I stopped practicing Falun Dafa after the evil Party began to persecute practitioners. As a result, my health deteriorated. I was tired all day, my legs swelled up and I couldn't stand, I had severe anemia, and I was pale. To make matters worse, I was diagnosed with multiple uterine fibroids. While trying to determine if the fibroids were benign, doctors discovered that my condition was critical. I was immediately hospitalized for treatment.
In Despair, I Thought of Dafa
I knew that my ailment could not be cured by the hospital. In despair, I thought of Dafa and Master. I begged Master to save me and give me one more chance.
During those few days, I was stuck between extreme fear and ambivalence and thought how selfish I was. While in the midst of a tribulation in the past, I did not listen to my conscience and respect Master and protect the Fa. I did a terrible thing by destroying the treasured book Zhuan Falun. Now I found it difficult to ask Master for help. Could a being like me be saved?
In actuality, Master did not give up on me during those days when I was not actively practicing. I dreamed that Master wrote a website on my palm and told me that this website would allow me to surf the Internet. A few days later I was given information about the website and overcoming the Internet firewall.
When I once again opened the Minghui website and saw Master's photo, I suddenly realized that I had been waiting life after life for Dafa and that I could not lose this opportunity. I downloaded all the Dafa books and immersed myself in Dafa every day.
It was as though I had never read the books before, and I regretted not studying the Fa well previously. If I had studied the Fa carefully, and understood Dafa and cultivation, I never would have done something that I would regret all my life.
Through studying the Fa, I knew that compassionate Master does not hold my past faults against me and that I should get busy cultivating. I wrote a solemn declaration and felt remorse for my wrongdoings. Only by cultivating solidly and doing the three things well can I begin to make up for my wrongdoings.
Difficulties Returning to Cultivation
The path of returning to cultivation is difficult and full of pain. When I began to cultivate solidly, the evil in another dimension got busy persecuting and interfering with me.
The illusion of sickness karma is not frightening. An invisible being between Dafa and me is what is really frightening. I did not dare to look at Master's image. When I offered incense to Master's image, evil thoughts started to play in my mind. I clearly felt that the evil thoughts came from that fibroid.
Through studying the Fa I know that they (evil thoughts) are not me. They are evil spirits and thought karma. For almost a year, I could not sleep well, as I was having nightmares every night. The rotten spirits in another dimension were shouting into my ears and choking me. I could clearly feel the evil pushing things into my mind and the space of the cosmos that I correspond to was roiling with dark waves.
I still did not know how to send forth righteous thoughts at that time. I was frightened and did not think of asking Master to save me. I was in a panic and on the brink of collapse.
Many times I wanted to give my mother or my husband, who was working abroad, a call. I wanted them to give me a sense of security. However, I knew that I could not make the call, as everyday people would not understand. It would only have worried them and they might take me to the hospital. This increased the difficulty of my already difficult test. I knew that only by truly facing this trial firmly on my own and believing in Master and the Fa could there be a way out.
Thus, I asked Master to strengthen me. I realized that I must be strong and not let the evil defeat me. Regardless of what kind of being I previously was, I now was a Dafa disciple. I must not be a demon that damages Dafa.
The Fa Is Constantly Changing Me
Compassionate Master saw my strong heart and gave me the ability of clairaudience. I could often hear Dafa music such as “Pudu” and “Jishi.” At times it seemed as if the evil was trying to separate me from Dafa. However, whenever I picked up the Dafa book and sat in the lotus position, I could feel strong energy flowing in my abdomen. I knew that compassionate Master was strengthening me.
Master said,
“...as long as you read Dafa, you are changing; as long as you read Dafa, you are elevating. The boundless content of Dafa plus the supplementary means—the exercises—will enable you to reach Consummation.” (“Melt Into the Fa” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
My thoughts gradually became righteous. What was most profound was that suddenly I knew how to send forth righteous thoughts. I was able to focus on my specific condition and send forth righteous thoughts at the evil persecuting me. When the evil came in the night to persecute me, I got up immediately and sent forth righteous thoughts for a very long time. At this point I knew that I could not slack off. Thought karma and the evil wishing to control me were weaker, but still eyeing me. The illusion of sickness karma was still present.
Seeing Through the Evil Interference
Although I returned to Dafa, I was still in a personal cultivation state. My thoughts revolved around my own tribulations, and I was imagining interference all day long. As I was also extremely sensitive, the evil came into my dimensional field and changed many patterns to harm me.
In the beginning, my body rotated slightly left and right when I sent forth righteous thoughts. I thought that it was Master who was adjusting my body. I did not realize that it was a demon persecuting me and messing up my mechanisms. During this period, there was always a voice talking to me, telling me that I could go to the hospital for an exam. I thought there would be no problem if I had sufficient righteous thoughts, but small problems might occur if my thoughts were not stable. As I did not have sufficient righteous belief, the fibroid did not disappear completely. I still thought that it was Master's fashen that was giving me hints.
The evil took hold of my attachment of fear and told me how to clarify the truth. All of its instructions were in line with my attachments to avoid clarifying the truth face to face. Gradually I realized, “Master would never guide me this way.” I saw through the evil plot and asked why it harmed me that way. It quibbled and said that it wanted to help my cultivation, as it was afraid that I could not consummate.
I sent righteous thoughts and eliminated the evil presence trying to influence me. It withered away and was silent for a period of time. However, it still interfered with me from time to time. Later, my body began to sway and I felt dizzy when doing the exercises. My primordial spirit left my body, but luckily my consciousness said at the critical moment, “I want to go home!” and I woke up.
Benevolent Solutions for Karmic Relationships
I asked Master for hints to enlighten me as to why I might be stuck in a long-term tribulation of sickness karma. I began a serious study of the Fa by reading, copying, and memorizing the Fa. In a dream I discovered that, when I was coming down from the high levels, I might have harmed some beings due to my selfishness. This caused them to lose their chance to be saved. It might be that my selfishness caused them great harm. I sent out a benevolent thought from the bottom of my heart to all those sentient beings that I had hurt before in all my lives and asked them to remember, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I also told them to assimilate and conform to Dafa so that they could come to my world and be my sentient beings.
I asked Master to strengthen me. I used strong righteous thoughts to put “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” into the huge cosmic body's system, from the macroscopic to microscopic, including that to which my body corresponds. I asked that Dafa rectify all incorrect states in my cosmos and strengthen and increase my knowing side, the side that has obtained the Fa, so I might one day become divine.
Master Took Away Bad Things in My Body
When I was studying the Fa one day, a scene appeared in my head - an animal like a dragon left my body. The instant it left, I was startled.
I concentrated on memorizing “Expounding on the Fa” and Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun, copying Master's recent writings and sending forth righteous thoughts for a long period of time. I could clearly feel that Master was taking away those bad substances when I was sending forth righteous thoughts.
I once saw a huge hand remove a hood from the back of my head when I was meditating. A huge clap of thunder would sound in my head, shocking my whole body when I was sending forth righteous thoughts or meditating. I knew that Master was helping me to clear away those rotten things that prevented me from dissolving into Dafa. The sickness karma, as huge as a mountain and hard as granite, was blown up.
Gradually, I could kneel and bow to Master with a pure heart. Only Dafa could save me and let me return to my pure self.
Rectifying Myself Completely
I had to completely remove all attachments within me. I found selfishness, fear, greed, vanity, the mentality of showing off, jealousy, lust, and an attachment towards kinship. To remove all these attachments, I must maintain righteous thoughts, live by the requirements of Dafa, and use a compassionate heart when dealing with all people and things around me.
The first time that I was successful in breaking through my attachment of fear while clarifying the truth, I heard firecrackers exploding in another dimension. I know that the sentient beings in my world were cheering that their god had become diligent and that there was hope for them. Master also let me see that my cosmos had become clearer and I was moving up in level.
My family members gradually became healthier after I rectified myself. I have once again witnessed that, “...The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities.” (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun) Thank you, compassionate Master, for saving me and my family.
During the process of writing this experience sharing, I recalled my whole cultivation journey and found many attachments. I have eliminated many attachments during the process of writing. It was as though I discarded articles of old clothing and my body and mind have become more relaxed.
The day I picked up my pen, Master allowed me to see a strange sight - a light above the air conditioner moving in the air. I knew that compassionate Master was giving me hints that all things in the mortal world are illusions and not real. I should not be attached to loss in the mortal world and lose my way home. My real home is in the heavens.
