Is It Sickness Karma or a Chance to Elevate Xinxing?
(Minghui.org) I was fortunate to obtain Dafa before July 20, 1999. When I was taking a walk with a co-worker on the street one day, there were Dafa books and articles at a roadside vendor. I picked up one copy of Falun Gong , which included The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa . I randomly looked through it. Good heavens, I felt excited immediately. I thought to myself: “How come this book is so magical?” The moment I read it, I felt very warm, as if I were in an oven. I could hardly contain my joy. Wasn’t this book priceless? So I bought the books of Falun Gong and Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa .
I started to read the book right away after returning home. I was immediately amazed by “Lunyu” at the moment when I read it. I was over fifty years old and used to wearing presbyopic glasses for reading. The characters started to look bigger after reading a few lines. In a few more lines, the characters became even bigger. When I continued, the characters were getting as big as fingers.
When I took off my presbyopic glasses, the characters stayed the same size, and they were getting clearer and clearer. Every word was making the sound of “Dang-Dang” in my mind. Each word I read sounded so very great and magnificent. Some sentences, or even paragraphs, were all golden and shining. I felt my whole body and mind were immersed in a “great illuminating Buddha light.”
This book was so great, truly great, and so precious. So I read it three times in one week. Except for the time spent working or sleeping, I spent all the rest of my time reading this book, even when I was eating. Several days later, the CCP started the persecution. With Master’s arrangements, I also borrowed and bought other Dafa books and articles. I spent over half a year repeatedly reading these books and articles. Ever since the first night when I started to learn Dafa till today, over ten years, I have not read any other newspapers, just repeatedly read Dafa books and articles. I can remember quite a lot (although not memorized) so that I laid a good foundation for the tribulations that came later with the persecution of Falun Gong.
After cultivating for some time, Master started to help me purify my body. I also needed to endure some suffering in the process. I worked for a state-run enterprise for dozens of years, and lived by myself since my wife and son were living in another area. I visited and stayed with my son during my vacation. My wife also came to babysit our grandson. I also bought the return ticket to go back to my workplace on the next day. My wife and son were already asleep by 11 p.m., so I slept in the living room. The moment they closed their door, I started to have stomach pain. In less than ten minutes, I rushed to the washroom and vomited blood in the sink. I understood that Master was helping me purify my body. I still had a very bad pain in my stomach. I felt uncomfortable whether sitting, or trying to lie down. A few minutes later, I needed to go to the washroom again. This time, the blood shot in a sudden burst, and a large amount of blood splashed all over the sink.
I did not feel scared at all. Instead I felt quite happy. However, it is a very serious matter when one's body is undergoing purification. The pain continued and I felt very uncomfortable. Several minutes later, I went to the washroom again repeating the same experience as before. After three rounds of purification like this, it began to improve, but I felt very tired and weak.
“It is not that it’s painful on the path of cultivation, Karma of lifetimes and lifetimes impedes;” (“Causality” from Hong Yin)
I wanted to recite more of Master’s articles, but I just felt like I was not able to do so physically and mentally. I was half awake and half asleep. Early in the morning, I had to get up to catch the train. I did not bother any of my family members about what happened.
My son gave me a ride to the train station. Before I got on his motorcycle, he kept looking at me. It might have been because my complexion did not look right. He asked me: “Dad, are you OK?” I told him that I was fine in a straightforward manner. In about half an hour, we reached the railway station. Several minutes later after I was off the motorcycle, I did not move since I was too tired. My son saw me standing without moving, and came back on his motorcycle after he left. Seeing my son return, I realized that he was worried, so I began to walk towards the railway station. When my son saw me walk slowly towards the station, he left with peace of mind.
There was a large crowd of people at the entrance to the railway station. Many people were rushing to go back to work. I did not have any strength to squeeze myself into the station. I was very concerned and thought: “Master, I do not have enough strength to go into the station, what should I do?” Master takes care of his disciples every minute and second.
The moment I had this thought, there appeared a small and gentle tornado not far from me. The tornado surrounded me right away. It slightly held me up, and my feet were touching the floor, and at the same time they were not touching the floor. It seemed that only my toes were touching the floor. The tornado caused people to move aside and make a path for me. I heard the sound of the wind. I was brought by this tornado to an open space in front of the gate at the railway station. The wind left me and made several turns before it disappeared.
I did not feel as tired then. I wanted to thank Master, and again thank Master! Of course as a disciple I could hardly use language to express my thankfulness for Master.
It took about five hours to take the train, and another fifteen minutes on the tricycle to reach my workplace. I just felt a little bit tired while on the train, and I did not feel too uncomfortable. But when I reached the stairs to my living quarters, I wasn't sure I could climb the three flights. I simply wanted to sit down on the stairs. But what if people saw that, it would be too inappropriate. Just like Master said in his poem:
“Persevering, lifting the feet, the ten-thousand-pound legs, Forbearing hardships, advancing whole-heartedly, discarding attachments;” (“Climbing the Tai Mountains” from Hong Yin)
I climbed up the stairs with great difficulty. It was already past noon, and I had not eaten anything, nor even had a sip of water. It was really tiring. When I was most in need of my wife and son, I had to leave. Tears came down and I could hardly control it! Was I supposed to cry? But what else I could do if I didn't leave my home? Should I just give up half-way in cultivating Dafa?
I rested on the bed for over an hour, and drank some hot water. I could not go out and buy something to eat. There were about two pounds of rice in the bucket. It had already turned a black color. I chose to ignore the way it looked, rinsed it several times with water and cooked it. I slept that night, and felt somewhat better the next day. Since I used up my vacation, I had to have a doctor’s note in order to take sick leave. The doctor at the clinic in my factory asked me what was wrong. I answered “gastric hemorrhage.” The moment I said “gastric hemorrhage,” I felt my stomach ache and I needed to go to the washroom again and vomit more blood.
I understood that I said something wrong, so I said to Master in my mind: Master, I made a mistake, how can I confuse purifying the body with gastric hemorrhage? A difference of one thought reminded me of how truly serious cultivation is. At critical moments, we need to remember to have pure and righteous thoughts. I thought to myself: my physical condition is like this, my enlightenment quality is poor, so what should I do if I fail to break through? In my room, I have all the Dafa books and articles. What if something happened and people misunderstood that Dafa practitioners did not take medication or go to the hospital? My own life is nothing, but what loss might it bring to Dafa's reputation? Am I going to take on that responsibility?
If something happened, it should happen at the hospital, instead of at my dormitory. The moment I had this thought, a warm torrent came through my body. With Master’s greatest compassion, I understood that I was recovered. Master helped me pass the tribulation. I just felt physically weak.
A fellow practitioner heard that I was having sickness karma, so he came to visit me. He brought over the recorder and Master’s lectures at Jinan. So I listened to Master’s lecture all day long. I cooked the blackened rice with salt water, and I did not go downstairs or outside. Four days later, I could go out the gate of the factory to buy rice and vegetables. Six days later, I could go to work. I was recovered. I felt greatly elevated and extremely happy. Later on when I was doing the sitting meditation, as soon as I crossed my legs I felt deep tranquility and it was extremely beautiful.
The second purification experience came the moment I finished my dinner one night while preparing to wash the dishes. There was something inside my head that was spinning so fast that I could hardly stand up and I felt quite dizzy. I held onto the wall and sat down on a chair. The spinning became more intense, which made me even dizzier. I wanted to throw up and tried my best not to. But how could one hold back from throwing up? I decided not to fight it. Things were turning upside down inside my stomach, and I was out of breath from heaving. I just had my meal, but nothing came up. Isn’t that strange?
The spinning continued to make my head uncomfortable, and I heard the wind whistling. When I looked upward, there seemed to be a tornado constantly turning. The faster it turned, the more uncomfortable my head became. When I looked at it carefully, it slowed down. It was actually Master’s Falun that was turning. I could see it clearly: it was turning at the four corners of the ceiling. It was also turning at the top of my head. It was turning faster and faster.
When I could hardly see the image of the Falun, it again turned into a tornado. I heard the rapid sound of the wind. I felt so uncomfortable, and tried my best to endure it. My head was exploding. I could hardly sit down on the chair and I could not raise my head. I was thinking: if I cannot sit down, I will just sleep on the floor. I will get up when I am fine.
The moment I thought of this, the wind disappeared after making several turns. But my head still felt like it was spinning. My head seemed to be exploding. It didn't even seem like it was mine. It felt like some meat strips were being fried and rolling in my head. I could hardly control my eyes, and could not sit down either. I walked several steps with difficulty, holding onto the wall. I collapsed onto a bed, losing consciousness, with the rolling sounds still in my head. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, it was after 11 o’clock. I had no other uncomfortable feelings except for a little bit in my head.
I returned to washing the dishes, then washed my face and feet before I sat on the bed to do the sitting meditation. I was fine by the next morning. I got up at 5:30 a.m. and did the exercises for one and a half hours. A slight dizziness returned three times while I was doing the sitting meditation.
After several adjustments and purifications like this by Master, I did not have any more big karma-eliminating tribulations.
“When you encounter something impossible or hard to do, maybe it can be done. That is indeed the case, and you might want to give it a try when you go back. When going through real tribulations or tests, give it a try. When something is hard to endure, endure it for a bit; when something looks impossible or hard to do, give it a try and see if it’s possible to do after all. If you can truly do that, then you will find that there is “light at the end of the tunnel.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Jinan” from Zhuan Falun Fajie - The Law of Zhuan Falun Explained)
I felt very happy afterwards since Master had given me one more chance to elevate.
I noticed that some fellow practitioners had symptoms like illnesses of ordinary people. They lost their lives after going to the hospital and forgetting to keep their minds righteous. Of course there were also fellow practitioners who went through the tribulations by believing in Master and the Fa. I hope when fellow practitioners have this phenomenon, they can understand that it is the best opportunity to elevate their levels, which requires abandoning event the slightest human thinking.
“If your will is not firm, The hurdles are like mountains.” (“Severing” (in Yuan verse) from Hong Yin Vol. II)
Otherwise it will make it worse for your tribulations, and you might have to endure more suffering. If you cannot position yourself well, your cultivation might end up ruined, where everything ends up in vain.
I do not cultivate well enough. I can hardly find the human words to express the boundless compassion of Master. I'll just share this much with fellow practitioners. Please point out with compassion if there is anything improper.