(Minghui.org) My mother started practicing Falun Dafa (Falun Gong) in 1998, when she was very ill, and her many illnesses soon disappeared. She thought that the practice was very good and asked me to read the Falun Dafa books as well. That's how I obtained the Fa.
When I was in my last year of senior high school, my mom was illegally arrested for handing out truth-clarification materials, and taken to a detention center.
When my school learned about this, my teacher, along with the dean of students affairs and the school principal, talked to me, hoping I would persuade my mother to give up the practice. They said, “If your mom isn't released, you may not be allowed to take tertiary education entrance exams. Your future will be ruined.”
I told them, “My life won't be ruined. They are wrong to detain my mom. It's their fault that my life has been turned upside down.”
Since I refused to persuade my mother to give up Falun Gong, my teacher and the class supervisor went to talk to her in the detention center, but without any success.
When my teachers later heard of my family situation, the school even refunded my school fees for the semester. I knew it was encouragement from Master. “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One from Zhuan Falun)
I entered my most-favored university in 2001, and after graduation I got a job and left home. After I left the home cultivation environment, I gradually began slacking off in my cultivation practice. I know Dafa is good, but I stopped doing the exercises and didn't study the Fa much, except I often read articles on the Minghui website.
I viewed myself as an “onlooker” and didn't do the three things required of a cultivator. I was not a qualified Dafa practitioner, but wasn't entirely an everyday person either, as my heart never left Dafa during those years, and I also understood some Fa principles.
Master said in “Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference (Questions and Answers)”
“To these people who aren’t diligent, but feel that Dafa is good and something they can’t live without: I hope you don’t pass up this opportunity of countless ages; I hope that you can really, solidly cultivate some, and gain from it; and only then will you not have wasted the time you spent among Dafa disciples.”
I remembered the reason I started practicing Falun Dafa at the beginning... It was to make my mother happy. When she reminded me to study the Fa or practice the exercises, I would be a bit more diligent, but I slacked off when she was not around to remind and encourage me.
I thought, “Do I want to keep being like this?” I told myself, “I can no longer be an onlooker. I can no longer just be a person among Dafa disciples, but not actually in the Fa.”
Even though I was not diligent, our compassionate Master has protected me and has been by my side all this time.
One day, I suddenly remembered that my husband recently bought several sets of poker cards for his collection. Some of the cards had the images of Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leaders on them.
I remembered the Fa I that had just studied, where Master said,
“We have a practitioner who one day saw my fashen come to his home. He was very excited: "Teacher’s fashen is here. Teacher, please come in." My fashen said: "Your room is too messy, and there are too many things." Then, it left. Usually, when there are many evil spirits in other dimensions, my fashen will clean them out for you. His room, however, was full of different bad qigong books. He came to understand it and cleaned it up by burning the books or selling them. My fashen then returned.” (Lecture Six from Zhuan Falun)
I realized that these things contained very bad elements, and if we were to keep them at home they would interfere with my cultivation and my family members' righteous belief in Master and Dafa. I knew that I must throw them away.
Just as I had this thought, I felt dizzy and weak all over and I could hardly stand. I wanted to call out for my mother, but I could not make a sound. I was sweating all over and had to lean against the wall for support. I thought in my heart, “Master, help me!”
I looked very pale and mother noticed this. She helped me lie down on the floor. She didn't know what happened and just kept calling Master, “Master, please help my daughter!” A few minutes later, I felt I could speak again, so I pointed to the bookcase and said to her, “Look for those cards. Throw them away!”
She found six sets of cards with the evil images on them. Just as she was about to throw them away, she thought, “Hang on, these cards are nicely packed as gifts. If I throw them away, people will pick them up out of the trash and they will be harmed too.” So mother tore them into pieces before she threw them out.
We all knew that the evil Communist specter behind the cards was trying to harm me when they learned that I wanted to throw them away. Master had saved me again. It also shows just how important it is to clear out the evil CCP elements.
After I became pregnant, I decided to give birth in my hometown. My mother and grandparents were living together at that time. When I returned home, I learned that my grandmother had a mental disorder. She verbally abused my mother and me every day. The entire time we were home, she swore at us, even at night.
I didn't mind at the beginning, but as time went on, I began to feel angry towards her.
Master said,
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four from Zhuan Falun)
Mom said, “It's easy for us to move out, but we cannot leave the elderly behind on their own for the sake of the unborn baby. Dafa requires us to be good people. We cannot take a detour when we come across difficulties. We must be tolerant when faced with unreasonable swearing, and must not hold any resentment. However, we must also be responsible for your grandmother, and not allow her to scold Dafa disciples this way, because it is a crime. Once our xinxing reaches the Fa standard, your grandmother will stop swearing at us.” So we decided not to move out but to cultivate well in that environment.
Master said,
“For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I kept telling myself to be tolerant and to look within. What attachments did I still have? I was always a good student, from primary school to university, and a good kid at home. I was always praised and never criticized. I now had an opportunity to let go my attachment of keeping face and my intolerance of criticism. At the same time, my mother and I kept sending righteous thoughts to clear out all the evil elements behind my grandmother.
One day, my grandmother started to scold us again. When I looked at her I saw a dirty fox with patchy hair and a blind eye. I was shocked, and when I took a closer look, the fox was gone and I saw my grandmother again. One of her eyes was closed. I realized that she was possessed by a fox, so I intensified my righteous thoughts to clear out the evil elements in other dimensions. Soon afterwards, she returned to her normal state (she always believed that Dafa was good).
When I was seven months pregnant, one day while I was reading Zhuan Falun with my mother, I felt my eyesight suddenly blur, and I became weak all over and could hardly hold the book. My heart was beating rapidly and I was panting for air. I lost control of my body and felt as if some electric current was going through me. I could not talk but I was conscious.
My first thought was Master's teaching. Master said,
"I am telling everyone that no matter how uncomfortable you are, you must continue to attend this class. Once you walk into the classroom, all of your symptoms will vanish and there will not be any danger.” (Lecture Two from Zhuan Falun)
I thought, “I'm studying the Fa at the moment and the field is very good. I won't acknowledge any bad things. My unborn baby and I only listen to what Master says. Everything is decided by Master.”
I knew the evil was at work, and it was trying to stop me from assimilating to the Fa. I continued to listen to my mother reading the Fa and asked Master to strengthen me. The evil failed to interfere.
My baby girl was soon born. She is very clever and healthy. When she was only one -and-a-half years old, she could play the MP3 and listen to Master's lectures by herself. My grandmother loves her dearly.
Many miraculous things have happened over the years, and I have had many opportunities to cultivate my xinxing. Master has constantly given me hints. I have always firmly believed in Master and Dafa, whether I was diligent or not, and despite any circumstances or interference.
Please kindly point out anything that is improper in my understanding.
