Cleansing Oneself Within the Fa
(Minghui.org) After I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, I experienced many positive changes in my life and my outlook.
When I was a medical intern in 1998, most of the lecturers locked their desk drawers in the classrooms. One teacher did not, and out of curiosity, we opened his drawer. When they saw a copy of Zhuan Falun in the drawer, the other students lost interest.
However, I picked up the book and started reading. When the teacher came in and saw me, he said, “I'll lend it to you.” I read Zhuan Falun through once and was deeply impressed with Master's teachings in the section “Qigong is Prehistoric Culture.” I thought, “This author is very knowledgeable. How can he know so much, even things that happened so long ago?”
When I tried to return the book, the teacher said, “You may keep it if you want.” I happily accepted. As I kept reading the book, I realized that something wonderful was happening, and my outlook on life changed.
In the past, I was always very pessimistic and negative because of my chronic poor health. Now, to my joy, I was able to see the good in everything, and my world was filled with color. About ten days afterwards, the teacher asked me if I wished to learn the exercises, and I said I did. Much later, I heard from other practitioners that this teacher described me as a eager student in search of a teacher.
At that time, the old forces used others to interfere with me. Classmates tried to persuade me not to cultivate, saying, “Is it because you are lonely? We'll take you out for fun.” I replied, “No, I really think this practice is good.” This news even reached our head teacher, who told me, “You're still young. This practice is good, but you can practice it when you're older.” I replied, “I'm afraid I won't have the oppurtunity if I wait.”
A month after I obtained the Fa, I had a dream where I saw a lot of people running on an exercise track. They all appeared exhausted, yet they continued to run. A thought suddenly popped into my head: “As you can see, practitioners of Falun Gong have to endure this. Do you still want to practice?” I firmly replied, “Of course.”
Not long after, I had another dream. This time I saw many people imprisoned in a tiny cabin. This vision was accompanied by a thought: “This will happen to you if you continue to practice Falun Gong. Do you still wish to practice?” I firmly replied, “Yes!”
Returning to the Group
After I graduated in early 1999, I settled in the outskirts of the city. I helped my brother with his business and lost contact with fellow practitioners. Business matters kept me constantly busy, and I began to devote less time to studying the Fa and doing the exercises.
However, I still considered myself a Dafa practitioner, thinking, “Everyday people go about their busy lives, lost in delusion. As a person who understands the truth, I had better succeed in cultivation. Otherwise I'll be lost in my next life.” I didn't realize it, but at that time, I harbored a huge emotional attachment to my family and my business. It was easy for me to earn money, because many people liked to do business with me.
In July 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began its persecution of Falun Dafa. Preoccupied with my business, I seldom read newspapers or watched TV, so I did not know about the persecution. One day, I took my copy of Zhuan Falun with me to the market, planning to study the Fa at noon when there were fewer people.
The vendor in the next stall exclaimed, “Oh, how can you read that book? It's not good.” I replied, “Nonsense! How can it be bad when it teaches people how to be good? Read it for yourself.” He took the book from me, read for a while, and returned it when a customer approached. He said nothing else afterwards.
My father is addicted to gambling and frequently asks me for money. I disliked being with him and sometimes would even angrily refuse him. Once, when he was watching television at home, I noticed him muttering and sneering. In the background, I faintly heard the TV demonizing Falun Dafa. I didn't take it seriously, thinking the matter involved only those who hadn't studied the Fa well.
When I returned to my hometown in 2004, my fellow classmates asked me, “Do you still practice Falun Gong?” I replied, “Of course.” They told me that the media was widely denouncing it. I refused to believe it was happening, that the evil forces were persecuting and framing Dafa. Now I finally understood: the old forces were trying to stop me from assisting Master in Fa-rectification and were trying to eliminate me!
Compassionate Master refused to leave me behind and guided me in a dream. In that dream, I stood on the balcony of my house. A tornado blew past, accompanied by a lot of falling leaves. Where were those leaves coming from? Gazing upwards, I saw that the leaves were falling from the sky. At this point, I noticed Master smiling at me. When I woke up, I realized that Master was telling me to return to my roots.
Under Master's arrangement, I later found the home of a fellow practitioner who helped to update me on the situation. She told me about truth clarification, helping people quit the CCP, and the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts.
I quit the CCP using my real name and watched informational videos at her home. I saw fellow practitioners at Tiananmen Square protesting the injustice done to Dafa and Master. One male practitioner's voice was so loud, it shook heaven and earth. I was moved to tears by their bravery and thought, “Why was I so blind? If I had known about this earlier, I would have gone, too!”
Afterward, I approached our local materials production site to help out, silently resolving to redouble my efforts and do well.
At first, because I wanted to make up for lost time and do everything well, I was able to cooperate with Practitioner A. I would take the initiative to take up and complete tasks, and this made A very happy. But, gradually, we started to have conflicts. To quote A, “After learning how to repair the equipment and do more things, you have become more arrogant and want to do things your own way. You were much better in the beginning.” At the time, I was not convinced that I had such faults.
After I kept hearing the same comments from A, I wondered, “Do I really have a problem?” I examined myself and discovered that this really was the case. Later I read some experience sharing articles on the Minghui website where practitioners talked about remaining humble. I realized that I, too, should be humble.
However, the conflicts between us were not resolved despite my new understanding. From time to time, tensions would flare up with increasing intensity, to the point that we were unable to cooperate with each other. Despite all this, we clearly understood that we were brought together in order to cooperate, accomplish this task well, and assist Master in Fa-rectification. So, even though we couldn't stand each other, each time we would grit our teeth and keep working.
After our tempers cooled down, we'd talk things over. Both of us agreed that the old forces were trying to tear us apart and interfere with our work. Unfortunately, each time we'd point out each other's faults. Each time I described all of A's failings, A would also describe my faults. In the end, this deteriorated into a shouting match, since we were both stubborn and unwilling to back down.
We really weren't following Master's instructions to search within. Later I realized, “If this keeps up, doesn't it mean that my level hasn't changed? This isn't acceptable, I have to raise my level.” Practitioner A noticed that I was trying hard to search within whenever we had issues with each other, so she also examined herself.
Two years ago, Practitioner B, who also produced materials, asked us for technical assistance. As a result, we started interacting more frequently. B is very honest but loves to contradict everyone. He would stab at the equipment with his repair tools and carelessly make comments despite his ignorance. Despite his constant unpleasantness, I was usually able to tolerate him, but I would complain about B's faults all the way home.
Later I thought, “If I'm able to stay calm in the presence of B, this will help increase my cultivation level.” After this, I worked hard on focusing on B's good aspects. Besides being good at cooperating with others, B is very willing to lend others a hand, even on short notice and without complaint. He is also very steadfast in his belief in Master and the Fa. Finally I was able to laugh lightheartedly, even after B contradicted me. I had increased my level, an B also cultivated away a lot of his bad habits.
In fact, Master is able to see our attachments and exposes them in order to help us recognize and eliminate them. Not long ago, another practitioner arranged to meet with me in the morning to talk about proper relationships between women and men. Her words were harsh, and she refused to listen to my explanation. Pushed beyond my limits, I fiercely argued with her. She too refused to back down, and her words became even more cutting.
After I returned home, I was still angry and lost my temper. Those evil spirits in other dimensions took advantage of my weakness and strengthened my attachment to resentment and conflict. Over the course of the afternoon, my mind filled with resentment towards this practitioner, listing her faults and thinking about how to get back at her.
All this was going through my head as I printed truth-clarification messages on paper bills, and I began feeling unwell. Finally, when there was a problem with the printer, my mind suddenly cleared. I told Master, “I know I'm wrong. Isn't this the manifestation of my attachment to resentment and wishing to argue?”
Even though I knew I was in the wrong, I still wasn't able to control my thoughts. By the time I was preparing to send forth righteous thoughts around 6 p.m., I was so furious that my heart actually hurt. With my hands conjoined, I silently pleaded, “Master, these attachments to resentment and combativeness are not mine. I do not want them. Master, please help me get rid of them.”
After I finished, my entire body felt light. Although it happened this morning, it feels like a lifetime away, and my heart is unshaken. Thank you, Master, and I apologize for making you worry!
The above is my personal experience. Fellow practitioners, kindly point out any mistakes in my understanding. Thank you!