(Minghui.org)
Test 1: Nosebleed for 4.5 Hours
One day in June 2012, I experienced a nosebleed. It came in so strong that I was at a loss. At first I thought I would be all right and just take a minute. Instead it had not stopped after more than 30 minutes. I washed my nose with cold water and blocked it by using tissues, but nothing made a difference.
In order to slow down the bleeding, I rolled the tissue and used it to block my nostrils. Once the tissue was full of blood, I changed it. Three hours passed, and it continued. My wife dared not look at my face because it was gray to the point of looking scary. Later she told me that my ears looked half-transparent.
After four hours, I got scared. I thought, “How much blood does a person have? If it continues like this, I will be in critical condition. I have so many things to do. Did I honor my prehistoric vow? Have I saved people that I should have saved? If I passed away, did I live up to Teacher's compassionate salvation?” After this thought, I was fully assured. “Right! I have Teacher! I have hope in my heart! I will be saved!”
I knelt in front of Teacher's picture and confessed my wrongdoings. My shortcomings were so easy to identify. I was attached to watching television (TV) and playing on my cell phone. Teacher is so compassionate. My nose stopped bleeding after 4.5 hours.
I stood up slowly, swaying like walking on air. My wife was scared. I comforted her and said, “Don't be afraid. I am all right.”
Test 2: Nosebleed for 5 Hours
Six months later, I experienced a 5-hour nosebleed. It's all because of my self-indulgence in watching TV and playing on my cell phone. I had pledged in front of Teacher's picture, yet I did not keep my promise. Why did I repeat the same mistake? My attachments were so strong. Moreover, I used excuses to hide them.
Not all my family are practitioners. Some of them watched television. But I am a practitioner. I knew clearly that watching TV too often is an attachment. Because I did not do well in studying the Fa and cultivation, I immersed myself in the attachments, which were then strengthened by evil elements.
I really couldn't resist the temptation in times of a drama broadcast. As long as it's played on TV, it seized my attention even while I was studying the Fa. I couldn't concentrate. Though feeling guilty, I sat down and watched one episode after another. Fulfillment of my desire decreased my feeling of guilt. Moreover, the plot of the drama surfaced in my mind while I was sitting in meditation and sending forth righteous thoughts.
Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I was very attached to playing Chinese chess. My friends called me “unskilled chess player.” I liked to compete with players who were less skilled than me. No matter what, I indulged in playing chess. When I started practicing cultivation, I knew I should give it up.
Later I had a smart phone, which had an app for playing Chinese chess. I tried it out of curiosity at first and couldn't resist playing. It's quite easy to win and I was often praised as a super star. I played it whenever I had time. It occupied much of my time, which should have been used for studying the Fa.
When holding the above thoughts, my nose continued to bleed. Four hours passed, and it continued. I knew the old forces would not leave me alone. I was afraid, but when I thought of Teacher, I felt warm in my heart. I thought, “You, the old forces, are nothing. What qualifications do you have to persecute me? Did I ask for your help? I have Teacher taking care of me. Dafa will lead me onto the right path. My Teacher negates you, and so do I.”
I repented deeply. My nose stopped bleeding after five hours had passed.
The above two lessons are engraved in my heart and bones. However, the old forces didn't give up.
Test 3: Almost Fatal Test
One year later, the old forces started a murderous attack on me. Why? Because I didn't give up my old attachments. I developed bumps all over my body. They were itchy and beyond my endurance. I scratched my skin constantly until bloodstains could be seen everywhere. My quilts were stained with blood, too.
Then my skin swelled up and over one night, my physical form became like a monster, frightening my wife. I looked like a balloon man! All my wrinkles disappeared. My skin looked shiny, like it was coated with oil.
The old forces were really making a great effort to torture me. The swelling rash could not tolerate water, while the diabetic symptoms I had needed water. The old forces must be very satisfied with their arrangements.
When I identified clearly the tricks and evil doings by the old forces, I felt more assured than ever. I talked to them, “What else do you have? Just show me.” Actually, this was equivalent to pursuing more trouble. As a consequence, my stomach started swelling. Whatever I ate, I threw up. Finally, I threw up bile.
What followed was diarrhea, about 15 times a day. However, I never developed any thought of going to a hospital. I knew the tricks of the old forces: Once you go to the hospital, your pure body would be injected with poisonous water and medicine, then you would lose confidence in cultivation, fall down and end up in vain.
I didn't follow the arrangement by the old forces. I drank water whenever I felt thirsty and ate food whenever I felt hungry. I must take the necessary sustenance for survival.
I sat in bed, very weak. Suddenly I thought of Teacher's Fa,
“If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace. One thought born of righteous faith is all it takes. And whoever can hold firm that righteous thought and go the distance will become a magnificent god forged by Dafa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference”)
Teacher's Fa gave me much confidence. I talked to the old forces, “Do you know what you are doing? You are the worst beings at the last stage of the cosmos’s cycle of formation, stasis, degeneration, and destruction. The entire cosmos is experiencing Fa-rectification. You are also lives that will be rectified by Dafa. What qualifications do you have to test Dafa and Dafa disciples? Are you committing crimes against Dafa? Aren't you gods? Why don't you consider the horrible outcome?”
During these three tests, I was in a very passive position. Teacher suffered miserable pain for me! Teacher's compassion is boundless, so He never gave up on me. Fortunately, I held righteous belief in Teacher and Dafa.
Just because of this righteous belief, Teacher saved me again. The old forces' efforts ended up in vain.
When I experienced this almost fatal test, the inflammation spread not only inwards but also outwards. My chest space became narrower and I felt it difficult to breathe. As soon as I fell asleep, I awoke unable to breathe. Then I started sending forth righteous thoughts. My wife couldn't fall asleep. I told her, “I am sending righteous thoughts. This test seems very big. Please be well prepared. But don't be afraid. We have Teacher and Dafa. There is nothing to be afraid of. Your worrying too much does no good to me. If you stay unmoved, you are helping me. I know it's difficult for you to let go of the sentimentality since we have been married for over fifty years.”
Lessons Drawn from the Three Tests of Sickness Karma
During the third life-and-death test, I sat in bed to study the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts and reflect on my cultivation. I looked inside, examined my cultivation history and drew lessons from it, especially from the recent three tests of sickness karma.
Cultivation Is Serious
After the first 4.5-hour nosebleed, I gave up watching TV and playing on my cell phone. However, I didn't really let go of my attachments, so the substances were still there. That's why I experienced another 5-hour nose bleed.
Teacher told us so many times that cultivation is serious, but I didn't take it seriously. I felt light all over and free of pain after practicing Falun Dafa. But I didn't do the three things well. I enjoyed entertainment instead.
When I looked further into watching TV, I found that I was tricked by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). TV in China is an important tool used by the CCP to brainwash Chinese people. While watching TV, my heart was controlled by the plot, however, the general director is the CCP. Following the sentimentality in the drama, my heart was totally immersed in it. Finally, I would be brainwashed by the CCP culture and became a degenerate person.
Some might say, “Historic drama has no CCP culture.” Actually the CCP falsified the history and used all forms of culture to legitimatize its violent regime.
I wasted my time watching TV and walked the path arranged by the old forces. I didn't follow Teacher's Fa. I was not cultivating at all while watching TV. Though I resumed cultivation later on, I dropped down in realm, then I had to adjust my path again – from human to divine.
Finding the Root of the Attachment
About entertainment. It's normal for people to enjoy entertainment. However, if practitioners indulge in entertainment, it's a strong attachment, because entertainment brings you joy, makes you forget about your worries, and gets you carried away. It's a waste of time. If I couldn't let go of this attachment, I would not have time to do the things I should do in cultivation.
Looking deeper, why not follow Teacher's Fa and do the three things wholeheartedly? What's the reason? Attachment to entertainment, curiosity, pursuit of novelty are all superficial reasons. What's in the drama? Looking for treasures (attachment to treasures), revenge killing (heart of killing), romance (lust), and all other forms of sentimentality take you back to the state of a human being.
Negating the Old Forces
Although I walked through the tribulations, I realized that I was not clear about the Fa principles. When I experienced the first tribulation, I had a sense of guilt for watching TV and playing on my cell phone. It's equivalent to acknowledging the persecution. I should have negated the old forces.
After experiencing all these tribulations, I finally came to have a clear understanding of the Fa. Though it's late, I still feel fortunate because I didn't lose the opportunity to cultivate. The lessons made me enlightened to an important point: Cultivation is serious!
I hope that my above sharing is of help to fellow practitioners who are experiencing tribulations of sickness karma. Please point it out if you find anything that is not in accordance with the Fa.
