Becoming More Mature in My Cultivation of Dafa
(Minghui.org) In 1997 I was working on my undergraduate degree at a university. When I returned home for the holidays, my mother told me that she had started practicing Falun Gong and encouraged me to practice as well.
A Tribulation Helps Me Return to Dafa Cultivation
I later realized that my mother, who suffered from all sorts of ailments, was becoming healthier and healthier. Moreover, our home became an exercise site for other practitioners. So when I came home for the holidays, I would naturally join in with the exercises, and I read Zhuan Falun more frequently. At the time, I felt that Dafa was very good, but I didn’t know what cultivation was. In a sense, I was like the “average man who learns the Dao” that Master has mentioned; I was not diligent at all.
On July 20, 1999 the Chinese Communist Party started its widespread persecution of Falun Dafa. I had just graduated at the time. When I got home, I found that the exercise site no longer existed, and everything had come to a stop. Even our Dafa books had been hidden. At the time I was attached to comfort and felt that doing the exercises was a form of suffering. Moreover, the environment for group cultivation was gone. I then became busy with work, got married, and had a child. As such, I didn’t touch Dafa books again for quite a few years.
After starting my own family, I thought I had found my life’s happiness and a husband who loved me. However, we lived with my parents-in-law, and the conflicts at home grew by the day. After work, my colleagues would all joyfully fly home. For me, going home was a form of torment. My in-laws would pick on my faults and nag me, and my husband became increasingly cold toward me. There were nights when I decided not to go home, sometimes without even letting my family know. Whenever I saw my young child, I felt extremely depressed, as though my entire emotional self was about to collapse. I could not see when this sort of life would finally come to an end.
I didn’t know why, but at this point I suddenly thought about Falun Gong. So I borrowed a copy of Zhuan Falun from my mother, and whenever I felt depressed I read it, which made me feel better. The change in my husband’s demeanor is what left me in despair about our marriage. Once I probed him by saying, “It’s meaningless for us to carry on with this sort of life; let’s get a divorce instead.” He sighed and agreed. I then added, “In that case, let’s go and make the necessary arrangements tomorrow.” Again, he agreed. My heart broke and I cried for an entire night. The next day, he inexplicably refused to get a divorce.
Gradually, I came to learn that he had been having an extramarital affair for a long time. I had been kept in the dark all this time. When I found out that he was staying with the other women in a house we owned and had even gotten her pregnant, my entire world collapsed. I couldn’t accept it. What was even more intolerable was that my husband hit me when we were quarreling. I decided to go back to my parents’ home, and I stayed there for the next three years.
For the next few years, the tribulations kept coming. My in-laws and husband went around spreading rumors that I had abandoned my family because I practiced Falun Gong, and that this was why my husband had an affair. The ensuing widespread rumor-mongering was like a huge weight pressing down on me, such that I couldn’t breathe. I thought to myself, this was really like what Master said,
“Abundant troubles rain down together,
All to see: Can you pull through?”
(“Tempering the Will” in Hong Yin)
I began to study Zhuan Falun and Master’s lectures seriously, which gradually helped relieve my emotional turmoil. Thinking back now, I don’t know what would have become of me if I didn’t have the support I had from Dafa.
But returning to Dafa cultivation was easier said than done! Then again, I have also been very fortunate, as Master had not given up on me, despite my lack of diligence in cultivation.
Dafa Set Me on the Right Path and Saved My Family
As I studied the Fa more, I came to understand that nothing in this world is coincidental. The tribulations I encountered arose from the karma I accumulated over my many past lives. Master is simply making use of these tribulations to elevate my xinxing. When I understood this, I came to have a little less resentment toward my husband and mother-in-law. In Lecture One of Zhuan Falun, Master said,
“To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.”
Because I was attached to wealth and profit, my husband and mother-in-law refused to give me the house that we co-owned. Because I was emotionally attached to family, my husband refused to let me see my son. I resented my husband for being so heartless, and I thought of various human methods to get revenge. There were also many men who expressed an interest in me and wanted to go out with me…
As I continued to cultivate, when I felt wronged, I no longer complained to others about my grievances, but instead recalled Master’s articles, especially: “Realms,” “What is Forbearance (Ren)?” and “Cultivators' Avoidances.” Thus with the Fa close to my heart, I carried a slight smile on my face wherever I went. My colleagues and friends were astounded by the change that had come over me. During this tribulation, it was Dafa that had given me strength. So I tried as much as possible to hold myself to a cultivator’s standard.
However, there were still people who said that I had abandoned my family because I started practicing Falun Dafa. Dafa disciples’ mission is to help Master in Fa-rectification. If many people around me view Dafa in this manner, not only would they lose the opportunity to be saved, wouldn’t I have committed a grave sin? So I began considering whether I should return home. My parents disagreed as they didn’t want me to be hurt any further. I understood my parents’ sentiments, but I still wasn’t sure about what to do. I also shared with my fellow practitioners and received differing opinions. Some felt that I should go back, as Dafa disciples shouldn’t divorce. Others felt that I shouldn’t go back, as they felt that my in-laws were not just hurting me, but they were severely persecuting me.
Through Fa study and interacting with other practitioners, I knew that Master would arrange the best cultivation path for me. In the past, I didn’t guard my xinxing well; thus I fell into the old force’s trap. This tribulation was indeed a huge obstacle created by the old forces. After considering the situation many times, I decided to return to the home I left three years ago.
When I got home, I gave as much care and concern as possible to my family in my day-to-day life, and I did not harbor any grievances. It was really as though my environment mirrored my inner self; my family underwent a change that was beyond my expectations. My mother-in-law treated me better than she had ever done before, and my husband also changed for the better. Our entire family became more harmonious. I was full of gratitude to Master. If not for Dafa, this family would have fallen apart. Dafa had saved my family, and people no longer said that I had abandoned my family because of Dafa cultivation.
Helping Master in Fa-rectification
Our truth-clarification materials came from a neighboring small town that was about 10 miles away. Most of the practitioners in my area are elderly; so I bought a motorcycle and actively took the responsibility of picking up the materials myself.
When I learned that the practitioner who produces the truth-clarification material was a housewife with an elementary-school education, I admired her very much. When I saw how she had such a pure heart to save people, I was even more moved. I thought, “I do have some experience with computers; so why don’t I set up a materials production site as well? Not only would this save a lot of trouble, it’s also a role that I should take on.” When my fellow practitioners learned that I had this wish, within a short period of time they arranged for all the equipment and materials that I needed. At first, I wasn’t confident and was a little afraid. But once I produced my first set of materials, I was extremely moved, and from then on I was no longer afraid.
There were many ups and downs in producing truth-clarification materials. At the same time, it was also a process of cultivation and elevating my xinxing. At first, the printer often had technical problems. Sometimes when I searched within myself and found shortcomings in my xinxing, the printer would immediately start functioning normally again. Sometimes, when I was at my wit’s end, and I didn’t want to trouble the practitioners with technical skills, I would go to Master’s portrait and beg Master for help. At this point the problem would often be solved, and I could really feel that Master is constantly watching over this disciple. My mother would silently support me by taking care of all the housework. When I was busy and couldn’t finish the materials for the week, another practitioner would cooperate with me in a timely manner, thereby ensuring that the materials were completed in time. For the past few years, the few of us who were producing materials have been working together seamlessly, and we reached a state where there were no deviations or gaps in our teamwork.
Clarifying the Truth to Save Predestined People
I am a teacher; thus I have a fair bit of contact with students and their parents. I believe that the students I encounter must have a predestined relationship with me. Perhaps, at the very beginning when we were choosing our paths for saving sentient beings, I chose a school setting to clarify the truth and save people. In my everyday life, I have strict requirements for myself and treat my colleagues, students, and parents with compassion. There were also times when I didn’t maintain my xinxing, and lost my temper with my students. Afterwards I always felt very sad about it and realized that I did not elevate my xinxing. After going through this multiple times over several years, my xinxing has elevated a lot, and I no longer have such a quick temper.
Usually, I endeavor to treat my students compassionately and peaceably. I try to be considerate of my students in all aspects, so that the students feel that their teacher really cares about them. As a result, they’re also more willing to interact with me. At the opportune moment, I clarify the truth about Dafa to them, and most of them choose to quit the Young Pioneers and the Communist Youth League. Every time I see a life being saved, I feel very glad in my heart.
Of course, not all students and parents can understand the truth, and some even file reports about me to the education bureau for talking about Falun Gong. But under Master’s benevolent protection, I have always been able to get through safely.
There are all sorts of joys and sorrows on the path of cultivation. But I will continue down this path without hesitation, and this is a decision that I’ve never regretted. I have been very fortunate to become a Dafa practitioner in this life. I will always treasure this opportunity. Thank you, great and respected Master for your benevolent salvation! Heshi.