(Minghui.org) The Minghui website has published articles from time to time regarding the issue of “being prudent in dealing with people of the opposite gender.” Some practitioners (including myself) have not paid much attention to this issue. When doing the three things, due to lack of manpower, we sometimes need to work with practitioners of the opposite gender. Especially in mainland China where there is also the issue of safety under adverse circumstances and we cannot carelessly cooperate with people we do not know well, it is inevitable that very often we need to work with practitioners of the opposite gender.
However, failing to pay attention to the Fa principle that we should use good judgment in dealing with members of the opposite gender, some practitioners who have poor enlightenment quality and strong attachments developed improper thoughts, and with the evil strengthening those thoughts, they did things that Dafa practitioners should not do. As a result, some were persecuted; some developed a sense of inferiority and gave up Dafa cultivation; some caused losses to the projects they were involved in because they could not continue to work together; and some also caused the break-up of their partner's family.
I often hear people say, “We are all cultivators. There shouldn't be any problem even if a male practitioner lives with a female practitioner.” Some senior or middle-aged practitioners also acted as matchmakers for single practitioners, saying there should not be any problem so long as they didn't have sex. Some people believed this, but the reality is the opposite, and some practitioners are trapped in the life of an everyday person.
I would like to share some personal experience in hopes it can serve as a warning to others.
Over ten years ago my wife and I divorced due to the brutal CCP persecution, and I have lived by myself since then and never thought about remarrying. I thought I had let go of all lust and feelings of desire. In recent years, because I had an attachment to getting someone to help me make truth-clarifying materials, a local female practitioner introduced to me a single female practitioner from somewhere else, saying that this practitioner wanted to learn how to make the materials and would like to set up a material site back home. When I heard that she wanted to set up a material site. I agreed to teach her. However, because this practitioner was from somewhere else, she did not have any place to stay in our area, so the local practitioner said to me, “Your house has spare rooms. You can let her live in one of them. I'll come and stay with her.” So, the female practitioner moved into my house. She also helped with my household chores, such as cooking and washing. At first, the local female practitioner came and stayed with her for over ten days, but as time went on, she came less and less, and in the end she stopped coming.
Three months went by, and some practitioners reminded me to arrange for her to move to a different place, but I did not pay any attention to what they said, because this female practitioner truly wanted to learn how to make the materials and wanted to establish a materials site in her hometown. However, she seemed to have difficulty remembering the steps to take on the computer. Because she often used the computer late at night, when she forgot what to do, she would call me and ask me to show her. One day, I made a joke about it, and this loophole was taken advantage of by the evil. I started to have desires, which became stronger and stronger. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them, but without much success. When I felt desperate, I often slapped my face! Finally, when I felt I could not control myself any longer, I asked Master to strengthen me and found a suitable place for this female practitioner to move to.
This shows that we must follow the Fa principle and be prudent in dealing with the opposite gender, and even though we have righteous thoughts, over time, both the positive and negative elements could change. While we are still within In-Triple-World-Fa or before we reach consummation, we must remember to be careful with this issue. Therefore, whether or not we are prudent in dealing with the opposite gender is a very important matter that shows whether we are being responsible to our cultivation, to fellow practitioners, to ourselves, and to our projects to save people!
Also, we are great beings who bear the great mission to assist Master in saving sentient beings. We must regard ourselves as such. The old forces and all evil beings are closely watching every single thought we have and try to take advantage of our loopholes. The demon of lust is a sinister and ruthless sword that tries to pierce the hearts of those practitioners who have yet to let go of their attachment to lust. If we are being even slightly careless, our hearts may be moved, and we may be completely destroyed.
I would like to share two paragraphs of Master's “Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference” from May 23, 2004:
“Overall, looking at the situation of Dafa disciples validating the Fa as a whole, in the Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples have basically played the role of Dafa disciples.
"Of course, there are still a small number of people that are exceptions, and there have always been people who aren't diligent, because, after all, there are three different situations with Dafa disciples. The first one is where they made an agreement early on with Master to come here, and the second one is where they formed a karmic connection in history--the people who formed a karmic connection with me in different historical periods. And the third group are those who came in when I imparted the Fa this time and had the door wide open; they had a good base, and seemed pretty good and like they could make it. But in actuality, how they have acted hasn't been that satisfactory. Even today there are people whose conduct in their personal lives is not at all that of a cultivator; as for people like that, no matter how many things you do, you can't Consummate. While [Dafa disciples] clarify the facts, [some people] squander the money Dafa disciples have scrimped and saved for making materials. I have always taught you to think of others first in everything you do, but does that even cross your mind when you use Dafa disciples' money or possessions? The evil takes advantage of the slightest gap and glares menacingly at every single word and action of yours. Whatever you're attached to, that's what the evil beings will strengthen, and when your mind is off they will make you irrational. Everyone is putting out for Dafa, and yet some people shamelessly ask for compensation from other students. Are you cultivating? Who are you negotiating terms with? Why do you come across as nothing like a cultivator? And how are you going to establish a cultivator's mighty-virtue? Do you think Master is leading you in some ordinary people's political thing? There are also people who haven't been clearheaded or calm, they aren't mindful of security matters, and even less so are they mindful of other people's safety. Back when this [third] group of students joined the ranks of Dafa disciples, it was known that, when they experienced trials, when they experienced tribulations, and as their enormous karma was reduced and eliminated, their tests would be severe; but it wasn't known at that time whether they would be able to make it. Of course, that group of irrational people is small.”
This is my understanding at my limited level. Please kindly point out anything improper.
