Finding My Way and Letting Go of Selfishness
(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Gong in 1998. Amidst the tests and trials that I have been through on my cultivation path, there was one test that I couldn't get through. I felt disconnected from the one body of practitioners when I tried to talk to people about Falun Gong. I didn't know where to begin, and was worried when I saw the strength of fellow practitioners righteous thoughts in how well they clarified the facts. When I shared my concerns with fellow practitioners, some suggested that perhaps I could do other Dafa work that did not involve this kind of face to face contact. They said that every practitioner's path is different and I didn't necessarily need to clarify the facts face to face. I felt comforted by their words but didn't necessarily believe that this met Master's requirements for Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples.
In March 2013, I requested a couple of days off from work. I went to Pittsburgh to help clarify the facts to people there. By the second day, I felt very much at ease as I talked to people. On my way home in the car, I shared my experiences with other practitioners and discovered what my problem was.
“The cosmos in the past was based on selfishness. Let's take man as an example: when it came to crucial moments he truly couldn't care less about others. When I started Fa-rectification, some gods said to me, "You're the only one who gets involved in others' business." I know, you find this hard to believe, because you are altruistic beings created by Dafa that have roles in Fa-rectification and that have truly enlightened. If I didn't do that, with the end of history all lives would end. When a being is considerate of others in doing things and displays tolerance in the process, it's because his starting point is selfless.” (Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York )
I understood why I couldn't clarify the facts to people and what kept me apart from them. I was selfish and inconsiderate. I didn't think about others and only thought about myself.
When I was talking to people in Pittsburgh about Falun Gong and the persecution, I had good thoughts for them. Each time I met a new person, I wanted to greet them and talk with them. I felt close to each person from my heart. It didn't matter how they reacted to me, I just wanted to have kind wishes for them. With this frame of mind it was very easy and natural for me to clarify the facts. I felt connected with people and the results were good.
When I enlightened to my fundamental attachment to self, I became truly concerned about others and cherished my predestined opportunity to be with them. My whole environment changed when I treated others well. I did not feel helpless as I had before when I couldn't open my mouth and talk about Falun Gong. I believed that I could dissolve all the negative old force elements around me when my compassion emerged and my wisdom came out. I felt close to others and, as a result, the opportunities to clarify the facts to people were endless.
I had never socialized with my work colleagues before. I did my work well and left. But after I returned from Pittsburgh, everything was different. I felt close to my co-workers as soon as I saw them and joyously greeted them. I told them about my activities in Pittsburgh and clarified the facts to them. Now, I naturally laugh and chat with them every day. A few of them have even expressed their desire to practice Falun Gong!
My wife had suffered a lot from my selfishness and was very cold towards me. She used to complain that I didn't pay attention to hygiene or my attire. I didn't take her comments seriously and just thought that she couldn't stand the sight of me. I thought that I had treated her well and was hurt by her indifference. I reacted poorly. But after returning from Pittsburgh, I realized my mistakes. Now I wear a tie to work every day and my colleagues were surprised. I became more attentive to my wife and let go of my fear of making her unhappy. I let go of my selfishness, and all of a sudden comprehended many unexplainable things.
I used to look down on practitioners who could not pass their tests in cultivation. But after letting go of my selfish heart, I want to treat every practitioner well and be compassionate towards them. Driving home from work one day, I remembered how Master treasures each of his practitioners. Tears flowed down my cheeks.
“The mercy exhibited by our Dafa disciples today has never been achieved by any beings before in their cultivation. A Dafa disciple--a most magnificent, merciful being--is the most remarkable and most merciful in every environment of human society, and is beneficial to other beings.” (Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America)
By letting go of my selfishness I was able to find my true path. I hope every practitioner is able to follow the path of Fa-rectification until the end.