I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2006. I used to feel sorry for myself for obtaining the Fa so late. Then, I realized it is an honor and eternal blessing so long as I still have the opportunity to be Master’s disciple and do the three things.
Knowing my responsibilities
I learned about Dafa disciples’ responsibilities of doing the three things; however, because I lacked self-confidence and initiative, I wondered if I could be trusted with such a great mission. I questioned if my service was needed at all.
These thoughts constantly gnawed away at me until one day when I recited the poem “Descending to the Earthly World” from Hong Yin II. Upon arriving at the last sentence, “I made this single trip just for the sake of sentient beings”, it suddenly hit me and I burst into tears.
That was a watershed moment, and I stopped worrying about the difference between veteran practitioners and new practitioners. Instead, I regarded obtaining the Fa late as a motivation to strive forward even more diligently.
Solid cultivation through truth clarification
I completely devoted myself to telling people the truth. At first, I wrote letters and made banners, then I started a materials production site in my home, so that I could print letters and pamphlets, and mail them out or distribute them to the public. I also wrote quit the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) messages on paper money, sent text messages through my cell phone and made phone calls to explain to people the importance of withdrawing from the CCP.
Truth clarification is a cultivation process. When I was setting up the materials production site, I discovered fear, aversion to trouble and hardship, and dependence; yet as I overcame them one by one, I was able to finish the site within a few months. On the day a fellow practitioner brought equipment to my home, Master enlightened me to the deeper meaning of compassion and forbearance.
More attachments surfaced when I was producing materials, such as fear, lust, complacency, and a show-off mentality. After numerous tribulations and whittling away, the process became much smoother.
I realized there must be an element of cultivation when problems arise during truth clarification. As long as we regard it with righteous thoughts and look inward, we can change bad things into good things--into opportunities for improvement.
Using our hearts for a good outcome
No matter how we go about telling people about Dafa, as long as we put our hearts and minds into it, the result is usually pretty good.
Speaking from my personal experience, I started writing “Quit the CCP” messages on paper money, because my family took away my equipment when I was being persecuted. My husband kept watching me and restricted my freedom and mobility.
Since I could no longer get materials about Dafa from other practitioners, I had to make my own. Thus, I exchanged large bills for smaller bills and wrote, “Quit the Communist Party to ensure your future safety” on them. Master helped me because I took this task very seriously, and my handwriting turned out neat and proper.
Many times when people took these special bills from me, they exclaimed, “Falun Gong is great!” or “Falun Gong practitioners are very smart. No one will throw away money, so everyone that uses it sees this message.”
Once, a store clerk called her co-workers over saying, “Look, do you think these characters are handwritten or printed?” On a separate occasion, someone said, “I’ve seen Falun Gong’s message--beautiful calligraphy!”
I thought, “Regardless of whether they have a deep understanding of Dafa or not, at least they have a positive first impression.” Later, a fellow practitioner gave me a stamp, so I started printing the quit-the-CCP message on the paper money in large quantities, saving tremendous amounts of time.
If the bills were new and crisp, I directly printed the messages on them. If they were used and wrinkly, I first washed them, air dried and then pressed or ironed them flat. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive with only a few negative comments, but I did not let the negative things sway me. I will persevere until the Fa rectifies the human world.
We should do everything with sincerity and righteous thoughts. When we live up to Dafa’s standards, the power of the Fa will manifest through us and we will be able to save sentient beings.
Letting go of resentment
In the early stage of my cultivation, I failed a lot of xinxingtests. Fortunately, each time after I tripped, I trudged through the pain and nevertheless enlightened to the Fa principles, and Master removed my attachments. As a result, I felt much lighter both physically and mentally.
What I stumbled on the most was the resentment I bore toward my parents-in-law, which was also my single strongest attachment. Each time I recalled Master’s words,
“So, I tell you that you cannot Consummate if you do not love your enemies.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada”, Toronto, May 23, 1999)
I felt sad. This bitterness had built up in my heart over the decade that I had been married. Even though I knew my parents-in-law treated me poorly because of karma, I still had a hard time letting go. I became the primary target at home, especially after the persecution began, and everyone at my parents-in-law’s house looked down on me. My mother-in-law often attacked me by making nasty insinuations, and my sister-in-law even said to my husband, “Let’s get rid of her.”
I grew up being a very sensitive person and these attacks caused me to close off my heart. Even though we lived under the same roof, I refused to talk to them and acted like a total stranger. However, because I had already obtained the Fa, I knew intuitively that I needed to do the right thing.
In my effort to be a better Dafa practitioner, I constantly studied the Fa and suppressed my resentment and combativeness. I knew from Master’s lecture to the Australian practitioners that it is all my fault when conflicts arise between me and ordinary people. When I get angry, I remind myself of Master’s teachings.
Through looking inward and reading stories from traditional Chinese culture, I finally realized that I not only clung to resentment but I also had strong disrespect toward my elders due to degenerate modern influences. I did not want to hear any criticism from others. With Dafa’s guidance and after having endured trying circumstances, I gradually discarded these attachments, and the ice in my heart melted away and was replaced with compassion and tolerance.
Over the past few years, Master spent lots of time and energy helping me resolve conflicts. Even though I still have those occasional moments when I slip and blow up, I no longer see anyone as my enemy and for the most part I do not get angry. I can treat everyone with calmness and kindness. The environment has now improved and the atmosphere at home has become more harmonious. It’s true that everything happened as a result of my own heart.
Now, I pay a lot of attention to rectifying every single thought. As soon as a bad thought emerges, I immediately repel it. We should actively assimilate to Dafa as particles of the Fa by eliminating everything that does not conform to the Fa, return to our true selves, so we will be great enlightened beings in the new universe.
It has been over six years now, and I have been through a lot and matured a lot. Dafa cleansed a once unworthy person little by little, and Master held my hand on the path that leads home. I don’t know what lies ahead of me, but I do know Fa rectification is in the final stage. Few opportunities remain for us to do the three things, and yet lots of things are waiting to be done, and lots of my attachments still exist.
A few days ago, I had a dream: I saw that Fa rectification had ended. Some fellow practitioners wearing beautiful clothes ascended into the sky and flew away, while I sat on the ground and cried my eyes out. I remember having many regrets and knew that many people still needed to be saved.
After I wrote this article, I felt again that time is pressing. I must seize any remaining opportunity to cultivate myself and save more sentient beings, so that Master can worry less, and I won’t have any regrets in the future.