(Minghui.org) When I first started practicing Falun Dafa 18 years ago, I did the exercises every morning and usually practiced for one hour extra after the group practice. I did more of the exercises after work and joined the Fa-study group every evening. I read every Dafa book even before joining group study and constantly felt that I was assimilating to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Every day I could enlighten to deeper understandings. Those early days were indeed fantastic.
I went to Beijing with fellow practitioners to validate the Fa in 1999 and later spoke to people about Falun Gong and the persecution in my local area. I was subjected to persecution on many occasions. But with my faith in the Fa, I was able to break through those tribulations one after another.
Afterward, I gradually became complacent and all kinds of attachments arose in me. For example, I had a strong desire to accomplish things and was attached to zealotry and showing off. This became especially evident when fellow practitioners complimented me for my technical skills. So under this condition, I could not concentrate on the Fa when I studied.
I started focusing primarily on how long I studied, but not how well I studied, and was unable to gain a deeper understanding of the Fa. I recited Zhuan Falun many times, but did not know the content very well. I even had the human heart to show off my ability to recite the Fa and felt proud of myself for being the only practitioner in our area who was proficient in doing that.
As a matter of fact, I had not truly studied the Fa attentively, but scanned through it every time. Even though I knew that Master reminded us numerous times to study the Fa well, I was unable to correct my complacency.
I often got distracted when I studied the Fa and dozed off when I sent forth righteous thoughts. After being in that state for a long time, my legs felt heavy when I climbed stairs and was often tired at work. Even ordinary people were more energetic than I was. Furthermore, I also fell asleep when I practiced the exercises. I was worried about my condition, but did not know how to overcome these gaps. So I found myself facing endless tribulations and persecution.
I was the first practitioner in our area to use the computer, so I collaborated with fellow practitioners to make truth-clarifying materials. Fellow practitioners often complimented me for my technical savvy, and I really believed that I was doing well with my cultivation. When I read sections in the lectures where Master asks us to use our hearts when reading the Fa, I deceived myself into believing that Master was talking about other practitioners.
Gradually, it got to the point where I could not even see the meaning of the words in the book and became completely perplexed. I intended to treat Fa-study more seriously and actually wanted to elevate through studying the Fa; however, my condition failed to improve.
After returning home from a labor camp in 2004, I felt tired whenever I read the Fa. I then attempted to read the Fa aloud and repeated the formula for sending forth righteous thoughts. I was determined to keep the evil forces from persecuting me any further.
At that point, a fellow practitioner invited me to live with her, and we studied the Fa together every evening. Eventually, I was able to break through these tribulations.
I was again illegally detained in a brainwashing center last year, and afterward, deeply understood why I read the Fa but without making any true progress. So I began to copy the Fa, and every time I finished copying Zhuan Falun , my situation improved a little.
I then began to read Zhuan Falun word by word and tried my best to imprint every single word into my brain. That tactic seemed to help a little too. But as time went by, I began to fall back into my familiar pattern of just going through the motions: My mouth chanted the words, but my mind did not know what I was saying. Finally, I decided to work on reciting the Fa again.
I earnestly recited the Fa and believed that was the best way for me to make up for the time that I missed. Gradually, I began to see how I was beginning to meld into the principles of the Fa.
The last time I recited the Fa, I did it paragraph by paragraph, but this time I decided to recite sections of Zhuan Falun . I took my time and worked hard at memorizing every paragraph in each section before moving on to the next one. It took me several days to memorize one section. Since it took me so long to memorize each section, I worried about how long it would take me to memorize the entire book.
It took me months to memorize Zhuan Falun for the first time, but I became more focused on being fully immersed in the Fa, and that was my goal! When I attempted to memorize the Fa again, I did it at a faster pace. Now I recite one chapter a day and then read Essentials for Further Advancement and other lectures. I then do Dafa tasks in the afternoon, and read articles on the Minghui website and learn more computer skills in the evening.
I gradually returned to the state that I experienced when I first began cultivation in Dafa. Passages of the Fa often appeared in my mind, which helped me enlighten to the inner meaning of certain words and sentences at my level. If I did not remember some lines of the Fa accurately, I would be guided to find those words in the book to see my mistakes.
I became enlightened to the fact that Master’s choices of words were always the best to demonstrate the boundless depth in the Fa, and no other words in the world can do the job as perfectly.
I understood how important it is to diligently study the Fa. When I read the Fa with fellow practitioners, I helped to set an example by pointing out the mistakes that fellow practitioners made and insisted that they correct the words. Thus our group members now help one another to maintain a good Fa-study environment.
I was able to feel clearly when Master cleansed my body while I worked on memorizing the Fa. Master has also helped to point out many of my attachments, such as lust, competition, hatred, jealousy, as well as personal gain. He uses every opportunity possible to help me recognize these attachments and eliminate them.
The process of eliminating attachments, however, is an ongoing process. Whenever my understanding elevates to a higher level, those attachments will re-surface on that level in order for me to eliminate them from their roots. I will constantly be eliminating attachments until I reach enlightenment.
When I study the Fa attentively, my innate wisdom emerges. In the past, I would give up if I did not know how to solve a technical problem, but now I seem to have gained some extra clarity, which enables me to understand all the technical issues. I have also gained more technical skills, like being able to install computer encryption systems, using dual encryption systems, as well as how to maintain and restore these systems.
I now have less of a workload and am able to install various applications in the computer, which are able to sort all kinds of documents. I work collaboratively with fellow practitioners to improve their computer systems in a timely manner and also help them to learn to manage and maintain their own systems.
Cultivation is not an easy task and is full of hardships, but I receive satisfaction from obtaining new understandings and helping others. I can sometimes feel that Master’s Fa is so profound, and one line of the Fa alone can encompass the splendid nature of our universe. I ought to respect these teachings and imprint them in my heart.
Thank you revered Master for saving me!
