The Issue of Indulging One's Thoughts
(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Gong more than 10 years ago. Most of the time I have been diligent (except for the last two years). In the morning I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts. In the afternoon I went out to clarify the truth and help people quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations, to save sentient beings. In the early evening I often wrote in my cultivation diary, studied the Fa, and wrote cultivation experience sharing articles till after 1:00a.m. Then I slept for three hours.
At that time, I felt clear-minded on the Fa, and I could handle any challenge quickly and with wisdom. I felt energetic and happy. Writing cultivation sharing articles, in particular, seemed easy for me. The submitted articles were often published in Minghui Weekly . My mind was pure and righteous. All I had in mind was to save sentient beings, validate the Fa, and assist Master to rectify the Fa. I felt endless energy.
Two years ago, I followed an attachment and ordinary notion: thinking that it is not good that I got so little sleep because of my old age. I didn't realize this thought was not based on the Fa and that it is a wrong mentality, a dangerous attachment, and ordinary notion. I didn't eliminate it, but instead let it remain in my mind, repeatedly expanding and indulging it; then it derived other attachments. For example, to sleep longer and to justify my slacking off, I thought: “I am nearly 70 years old, I was busy all day; it is natural to go to bed early in the evening.” Regarding writing articles, I thought, “I am old, my mind is not quick anymore; the current cultivation sharing articles in Minghui Weekly are of a high realm and high level; my limited education is nothing; so why do I consume so much energy doing this? If it is not selected to be published in Minghui Weekly , is just a waste of time.” My attachment of pursuing fame was also emerging.
Because my mind was not pure, my articles were not as good as the previous ones. My previously pure mind was strengthened by Master, and Dafa gave me wisdom. Now I have indulged my human attachment without looking inward in time. I feel everything is difficult now.
The old forces took advantage of my loophole, arranging some illusions: after supper I always felt sleepy and had sore muscles, tired limbs, was heavy-headed, had a slow-response, my eyes felt astringent, and I couldn't sit still; so I felt I had to go to bed. As soon as I put my head on the pillow, I fell asleep until the next day. There was no more Fa study and no more diary and cultivation sharing. Sleeping became my priority. Day by day, I was deeply trapped by the attachment of pursuing comfort and couldn't let go of it. My habit of writing stopped, and I slacked off in my cultivation. To send forth righteous thoughts at midnight, I relied on my spouse, who is not a practitioner, to wake me up. Master often used my spouse's mouth to remind me, “pursuing food and sleep, one cannot cultivate! A cultivator? If you continue like this, everyone will achieve consummation, except you!” I replied in my mind, “You cannot make the decision, only my Master can!”
Master was worried seeing me slacking off without enlightening, and used another practitioner's mouth to seriously reprimand me: “Are you cultivator? What have you cultivated? Achieving nothing, your cultivation will be end up in vain.” and “Can you reach consummation like this? You are even not qualified to be a sentient being.”
All my life I have been very sensitive to criticism; so when I heard these sharp words, I felt very upset. I didn't say anything at that time and tolerated it. I realized that Master used their mouths to give me a “stick warning,” and to butt heads with them equates to butting heads with Master. But I still could not let this incident go. Because this incident exposed many of my attachments, such as my attachment of competitiveness, my protesting about unfairness, my combativeness, suspicion, jealousy, holding grudges, intolerance, etc.
According to the Fa, I found my attachments. I felt regret and cried. I am grateful to benevolent Master for his painstaking effort to save me and for giving me hints to wake me up. I let Master down with my poor enlightenment quality. At this critical moment, if I don't rectify my behavior, let go of my attachments, then I would not even reach the standard of a true practitioner, let alone reach the realm and standard of enlightened beings in the new cosmos.
Master said, “... the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Zhuan Falun) Every human attachment and notion is like a gate blocking a passage of the cultivation process. One must constantly look inward during cultivation process, clearly recognize human attachments and notions according to the Fa, and repeatedly rectify oneself, then one can be more diligent on the path of the cultivation.
If you indulge one thought, the old forces will take advantage of your loophole, magnifying your attachment and desires, reinforcing your notion, dumping all sorts of garbage of the cosmos into your dimension. When you have so many human attachments and huge karma, won't the old forces do ruthless things to you or easily let you go?
The old forces took advantage of my unrighteous thought, persecuting me in 2008. It arranged a tribulation of sickness karma--a test of life and death. This year, the old forces caught my unrighteous human notion that I didn't rectify in time and persecuted me and arranged another severe sickness karma tribulation. However, I overcame both tribulations of sickness karma under Master's protection and hints. I deeply looked inward and found several human attachments. I disintegrated them, rectifying myself to breakthrough the tribulations.
I know that it was Master's huge suffering and sacrifice for me that allowed me to overcome the tribulations. Without Master's protection and hints and having spared no effort to get me to look inward, and without my rectifying myself in time, I am afraid that when the Fa-rectification was over I would have only watched the magnificent sight of practitioners reach consummation. I could only have sat on the floor crying.
Cultivation practice is majestic and serious. I would advise practitioners who say, “I don't how to look inward. I don't know what to look for,” please listen to my story and lessons. Let's remember benevolent Master's teaching “... always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank.” ( “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference”)
I hope we can all do the three things well and constantly rectify our thoughts and actions, be more diligent, and reach consummation earlier.