On the Issue of Seeking Comfort
(Minghui.org) Though I never stopped doing the three things required of Dafa disciples, for a long period of time I was puzzled by recurring dreams in which I had endless everyday people's stuff to tend to and couldn't catch a breath.
Later I realized that my dreams were signs that my heart was still lingering in the human world though I aspired to cultivate to higher realms.
Then what was that thing that kept me buried in the human world? I thought long and hard but had no clue at all.
One day when I open Zhuan Falun, I suddenly saw one sentence: “Of course, we don’t need to talk about ordinary people—they just want to stay as is, and they just want to be comfortable for now.”
I knew immediately what my problem was—I had a heart of seeking comfort. When I reflected on myself, I discovered numerous instances where I sought comfort in various ways. Below were just a few of them:
– I never hesitated to take a brief nap whenever I felt sleepy while memorizing the Fa at night.
– I usually had trouble finishing all five exercises in one sitting in the morning and often went back to bed after just doing the meditation.
– When it came to sending forth righteous thoughts, I just did the 15 minutes without ever trying to do more.
– I rarely attended the group Fa-study once my fellow practitioners began to practice the exercises together following Fa-study. I thought it was a waste of my time since I did my exercises already in the morning.
– I wanted to clarify the facts to people face to face, but often came home even before I started since I lacked patience to wait for a good opportunity to strike up a conversation.
– During my spare time at work, I surfed online to buy clothes instead of making good use of the precious time to study the Fa.
I seemed to be doing the three things diligently, when in fact I failed to do my best following the standards of the Fa. My knowing side longed to ascend to higher realms, while my human side had trouble getting rid of the acquired notions deeply ingrained in my mind. As a result, I often didn't even realize that I had slacked off in cultivation. No wonder I always dreamed of minding everyday people's business non-stop.
Master had long instructed us to calm down and read Essentials for Further Advancement ten times, but I didn't do it until earlier this year. When I came to the tenth time, I suddenly realized that every sentence in “A Dialogue with Time” and “Expounding on the Fa” was actually talking about me.
For a long period of time I liked to compare myself with my past and was content that I was doing better than before. Whenever I encountered interference, I was inclined to use human methods to solve the problems, totally forgetting to summon my divine thoughts. As a result, I missed many opportunities arranged by Master for me to improve my xinxing. No wonder I had trouble making breakthroughs in my cultivation.
I realized the old “me” was not much different from everyday people who gravitated towards things that pleased them. I wanted to see beautiful things, listen to pleasant sounds, eat tasty food, and live in comfortable places. Though I was able to resist temptations of fame, material interest, and sentimentality, I was still unknowingly controlled by my desire to seek comfort and often forgot to think from the perspective of a cultivator.
For instance, I was afraid of going out to attend group Fa-study whenever my husband was home, since I didn't want to invite a confrontation. I failed to recognize that he came down to the human world to obtain the Fa as well.
I was also hesitant to bring up the subject of Falun Gong with my husband's friends whenever he was around. I failed to think of these friends as sentient beings eager to hear the truth clarified.
I spent a lot of money on clothes because I was obsessed with dressing well to make a good impression when distributing Shen Yun DVDs. I failed to remember it was Master that was saving people.
After I identified my problem, I worked hard to get rid my attachment to seeking comfort. I discovered that I was unsuccessful when I tried to find solutions within the confines of human thinking. When I followed Dafa requirements and treated everything I encountered as tests of my xinxing, it was so much easier to make breakthroughs.