Take the Initiative to Search Inward
(Minghui.org) Recently my cultivation was interfered with by the old forces' arrangements. Practitioner A came to help me. He shared his personal understanding that we should take the initiative to look inward for the human notions and attachments that have formed in this life as well as in other lives over our reincarnations. He said that when he calmed down and became tranquil, he could find his own notions and attachments.
“If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation.” (“Cautionary Advice” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
“Did you know that Dafa disciples have metamorphosed from the old cosmos and have emerged beyond the old Fa principles, but the old cosmos, the old Fa principles, the old beings... all of that is trying to hold you back!” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)
“You need to be clear that a Dafa disciple's cultivation is about stepping out of humanness; it is to step out of the old colossal firmament that is restrained by all kinds of factors that result from endless, countless, innumerable beings in this old cosmos; it is to gain a new life, emerging from an environment that is at the last of the last stage of the formation-stasis-degeneration- destruction process of the colossal firmament. Who can step out of all of this? To escape everything and be able to truly enter the future is indeed very hard.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference”)
Practitioner A understood from Master's Fa that we should search for the notions of the old cosmos that we brought with us during the process of descending level by level. Once we identify them, they are not easy to get rid of, but we can disintegrate them through prolonged sending of righteous thoughts.
I spent the next three days searching inward. I gained a great deal from it and felt as if I had been reborn.
First I searched for my attachments and notions that had formed in this life, and I soon discovered that the old forces had arranged a malevolent predestined relationship between me and my elder sister. The unpleasant things between us caused deep resentment on my part and a desire for revenge. Later, this attitude extended to others and sometimes even to fellow practitioners. Although previously I would look inward after conflicts, that was done superficially and did not touch the deep factors. In the process of searching inward this time, I also found other human notions and attachments.
I kept a mind of tranquility and discovered that, during my many reincarnations, I had cultivated alone and suffered many hardships. After a long time, I developed a profound sense of loneliness. Deep in my heart I was eager for others to care about me even as I resented and had a desire for revenge against those who did not care for me. I also found my notions and attachments that derived from the historical grievances between me and my parents-in-law, and I eliminated them through sending forth righteous thoughts for a long time.
On the first day of my actively searching inward, Practitioner B sent righteous thoughts with me. Practitioner B told me afterward, “You searched inward, but you did not find the right point. I saw the black substances of resentment and revenge filling every cell of your body.” I then worked hard to find my attachments and eliminated them with righteous thoughts.
The next day I searched for notions of the old cosmos that had formed during my stay in higher dimensions, and I sent righteous thoughts for a long time when I found something wrong. Suddenly I burst into tears that I could not hold back. After sending righteous thoughts, I told Practitioner B, who was again helping me with righteous thoughts, “I saw the hardships I endured as I descended level by level in the cosmos and the notions and attachments that consequently developed. I saw that the old forces took advantage of the malevolent predestined relationship between me and my elder sister, and the old forces tried again and again to take my life. Today, with Master's help, I destroyed the contract I had signed with the old forces, and that's why I cried.” Practitioner B said, “No wonder. When I sent righteous thoughts just now, I saw a bad being on you and I blew it up with thunder.”
Later I shared the experience with Practitioner A. He said, “Another reason you cried is that your knowing side was so glad to see the contract with the old forces destroyed and could not help crying. You told me before that you experienced a fire as a child. I think that fire was arranged to take your life, since the old forces knew that you would take on the responsibility to assist Master in Fa-rectification. Since you started cultivation, the old forces have been using your notions accumulated during your descent, which you had not gotten rid of until a few days ago, to interfere. After you disintegrated them, your knowing side was overjoyed.”
Practitioner C came with Practitioner A to help me with righteous thoughts. Practitioner C saw that since I lacked a righteous understanding of the hardships I endured, the loneliness that developed then resulted in resentment towards relatives who did not care about me. Because I had not eliminated it in time, it also caused interference among practitioners. When I made up my mind to deeply search inward, and when I eliminated the resentments and other notions with righteous thoughts, the many contracts I had signed with the old forces were destroyed. And the contract about assisting Master in Fa-rectification, which I had signed with Master at a higher level, unfolded.
In those short three days, I experienced huge changes and learned a lot. Above is my personal understanding at my current cultivation level. Please kindly correct anything inappropriate.