(Minghui.org) Fourteen years have gone by since I started cultivation. I stumbled along the way. Without Master's compassionate guidance, I would not have been able to elevate, let alone talk about saving sentient beings. Below I would like to share my experiences during the last two years of using the cell phone to clarify the truth and save sentient beings.
Removing the Human Attachment of Validating Oneself
I was born in the 1980s, and I have many deformed elements in my character. The most striking flaw is validating myself and not discussing with others when doing things. When someone pointed out my inadequacies, I didn't listen at all. These faults have caused me to stumble many times in cultivation.
At the end of 2009, I read a practitioner's sharing on sending text messages on the cell phone to clarify the truth. I felt that this way fit my situation. My child was only a few months old at the time. Every day after taking part in group Fa study, I had no time to spread the truth about Falun Gong. However, I thought that if I had a cell phone, I could use the time I spent traveling to and from Fa study to send text messages. After learning about my intentions, a fellow practitioner sent me a manual on clarifying the truth using the cell phone. I read the manual and pondered on how to proceed with things. At night after my child was asleep, I would read the manual until midnight. My husband who is also a practitioner often chided me: “How come you are not so diligent when it comes to studying the Fa and doing the exercises? Are you trying to be different? Isn't it the same if you use other means to clarify the truth?” I refused to listen to him, thinking, “I am trying to clarify the truth, yet you accuse me of trying to being different.” However as time went by and he kept saying the same thing to me, I began to think about where I had gone wrong. I discovered that I had an attachment to validating myself. I never thought of asking other practitioners if anyone knew about this way of clarifying the truth and if they could teach me. I was afraid to ask them for fear that someone would deprive me of an opportunity to prove my capability.
From learning to buy a cell phone, editing text messages, and repeating the tests, it took me three months before I learned how to send text messages. Through studying the Fa, I understood that the notion of validating myself is really not the true me. It is something acquired. I sent righteous thoughts every day to eliminate this notion. When I rectified myself in the Fa, my husband stopped criticizing me. He also assisted me in some jobs.
Getting Rid of the Attachment Behind Fear
When I started to send text messages, I initially often went to some place far away. As I sent the messages, I kept looking back to see if there were police cars following me. I was constantly in fear. Every time I sent righteous thoughts, it seemed that I was eliminating all evil elements that were preventing sentient beings from being saved. But in fact I was afraid of being persecuted, and that was an attachment to self. After I corrected this thought, my fear greatly diminished. However there seemed to be a substance blocking me, and it was very difficult to take a step forward. At this time, a fellow practitioner sent me an electronic copy of the book “Cultivating One's Heart and Eliminating Desires.” After reading the book, I understood the cause of my fear. Before I got married, I had committed a sin in sexual relationships. I was truly afraid that the old forces would use this as an excuse to persecute me. In the next few days, my heart was so heavy that I could barely breathe.
One day, while studying the Fa, I read these words from Master:
“Let me tell a joke. If a person, with all kinds of human sentiment and desire among everyday people, is allowed to ascend and become a Buddha—think about it—is this possible? He may have a wicked thought upon finding a Bodhisattva so beautiful. This person may start a conflict with a Buddha because his jealousy has not been eliminated. How can these things be allowed to take place? What should be done about it, then? You must eliminate all ill thoughts among everyday people—only then can you move up.” (“Lecture One” in Zhuan Falun)
There was a thump in my heart. Master was giving me hints to get rid of my attachment to lust so that I could elevate my xinxing. I resolved to expose this in front of fellow practitioners and disintegrate it. After thinking about it for two days, I thought of telling my husband and his parents about it. As all of them are practitioners, they would not treat this matter like ordinary people. On the third night, all four of us sat down and I completely exposed to them my attachment to lust as well as the sins I made in the past in relation to this desire. After I told them about this, I cried uncontrollably and my whole body was shaking. I knew that it was completely destroyed. They helped me by sending righteous thoughts. After the sharing, I felt that not only had Master taken away the bad things in me, He also pushed me a big step forward. My family did not think badly of me despite my past. Instead they thought it was remarkable that I exposed my weakness. I am grateful to them for being so forgiving. I am even more grateful to Master for His compassionate guidance.
I understood that no matter what I encountered, my first thought should be to reflect on where I had deviated from the Fa. I should act according to what Dafa requires of a practitioner and not just think of eliminating the interference.
Looking Within Oneself and Forming One Body
As I became more familiar with using the cell phone, more and more practitioners around me became interested in using it to clarify the truth. Hence I took some time out to teach them how to use the cell phone. I was able to be patient when it came to teaching elderly practitioners who were not educated. However when it came to young and educated practitioners, my attitude was different. Once I had to teach a female practitioner who was around my age. I could not see anything feminine about her, and I felt very uncomfortable being with her. When I returned home, I looked within myself. Isn't she just a mirror for me? I felt so uncomfortable because her actions triggered the deformed elements in me. After I found my attachments, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them.
I realized that in this period of time, what I saw in the practitioners I came into contact with was manifested for me to see. Master made use of these incidents so that I could see my own inadequacies and look within myself solidly. Master said,
“When you meet with a conflict, it doesn’t matter whether you are in the right. You should be asking yourself, “What on my part isn’t right in this situation? Might it really be that there is something wrong on my part?” You should all be thinking this way, with your first thought being to scrutinize yourself to try to find the problem. Whoever is not like this is not in fact a true cultivator of Dafa. It is a magical tool in our cultivation. This is a distinguishing feature of our Dafa disciples’ cultivation. Whatever it is that you encounter, the first thought should be to scrutinize yourself, and it’s called “looking within.”” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)
Now, we have truly formed one body, making calls, producing brochures, clarifying the truth face to face and using various means to save people. I feel that I don't have enough time to do all the things I want to do. Sometimes I would even run when doing things so that I could save time. Actually Master is even more anxious. He has extended the time so that we could save more people. Even more so, Master hopes that we can cultivate into genuine Dafa disciples.
The day before I finished writing this article, I had a dream. In the dream, I saw myself eliminating a very evil, huge demon. Initially, it was very arrogant. When I shouted “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!” it could not move, and I could then destroy it. I knew that through this incident, Master was telling me that whatever I did, so long as it was in accordance with the Fa, the powers of Dafa would manifest, and this is not my personal capability. Master constantly watches over me. Henceforth, I have to walk every step solidly so that Master would not have to worry so much for me, and His compassionate salvation is not in vain.
