Truly Cultivating My Heart and Negating the Old Forces’ Arrangements
(Minghui.org) Since I started practicing Falun Gong in September 1998, I have benefited both mentally and physically. Below are some of my experiences.
Stealing Time from Sleep for Exercise and Fa Study
After the persecution of Falun Gong began on July 20, 1999, I worked hard to clarify the truth. However, due to my shallow understanding of the Fa principles, everything I did was based on my human notions and attachments. As a result, I failed to look inward when encountering problems and was thus taken advantage of by the evil. The past few years saw me go through detention, forced labor and a jail sentence.
After my release, I had planned to spend more time on Fa-study so as to catch up with the Fa-rectification process, but was shocked to find out that I had to go through numerous tribulations set up by the old forces. First of all, my husband had a stroke and became paralyzed shortly before I returned home. Secondly, my daughter went into labor not long after I got back. On the one hand, I had to face my husband’s unreasonable cursing and abuse of me while helping him with his physical therapy. On the other hand, it was difficult to take care of my daughter and the new baby. I often forgot I was a cultivator amidst conflicts with my loved ones and didn’t have any time for Fa-study, let alone doing the three things required of Dafa disciples. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. A few months later, while sitting on the floor one night for a quick break, I began to ponder my dilemma, thinking helplessly in my heart, “It is not that I don’t want to cultivate, but I just don’t seem to have enough time.” Suddenly I heard a voice say, “Steal time from your sleep!” I knew right away it was a hint from Master.
I then began to join the global group exercise at 3:50 every morning and have been able to keep it up to this day. Master has helped to wake me up almost every day. I now try my best to squeeze in extra Fa-study whenever I can.
Learning to Look Inward
I needed to take care of my grandson and cook three meals for my family every day. I used to be obsessed with preparing delicious food for everyone and was thinking about what to cook all the time. I usually did chores during my grandson’s nap time and never seemed to have down time for myself. I was exhausted by the end of the day and had no energy at all for Fa-study or sending forth righteous thoughts. The 3:50 a.m. exercise also became extremely difficult for me since I always felt so sleepy.
One day while my grandson was taking his nap again, I decided to read Zhuan Falun instead. The following passage of Fa then caught my eye,
“Let me tell everyone that the fundamental reason for one’s failing to increase gong is this: Of the two words “cultivation” and “practice,” people only pay attention to practice and ignore cultivation. If you search externally for something, you will not obtain it by any means.”
A light bulb suddenly went off and I came to see that I had been looking outward all this time. I complained that the old forces were controlling my husband to make trouble for me and worked hard to send forth righteous thoughts hoping to clear the evil. It wasn’t wrong to send forth righteous thoughts, but why could the evil still interfere with me even after my efforts? Wasn’t it because my human attachments and notions were at play? I failed to look inward to cultivate my heart all along. How could I negate the old forces’ arrangements?
In the days that followed, I was able to see that every lecture of Zhuan Falun was indeed about cultivating and improving one’s xinxing. It was just that in the past I failed to realize this. Little by little, I no longer felt anxious or worried about my lack of time to do the three things required of Dafa disciples. Instead I worked hard to identify my attachments when meeting with conflicts, be they minor or major. I began to understand what genuine cultivation was all about and started to experience the wonder and magnificence of true cultivation.
As I gradually improved my xinxing, I miraculously had more time to do the three things. I found that Master had already arranged opportunities for me to clarify the truth and all it took was my action to carry it out. With an elevated xinxing, I was also able to get twice the result with half the effort from my truth-clarification efforts.
Negating the Persecution
The evil was eyeing me menacingly all the time. Another form of persecution took place one August day as I was returning from learning skills to clarify the truth with cell phones. I suddenly felt a jolt on my chest as if something was yanked up and then pressed hard in there. I started gagging, unable to say a word. Then a sharp pain pierced through my back and it felt like my sides were being pulled in opposite directions. I immediately realized this was the old forces’ trick and I sent out a strong thought, “I want none of this! I don’t acknowledge your existence! I will only endure what I am supposed to suffer and will negate everything not meant for me. Master please save me! Master please save me!”
With this single thought, the weight on my chest suddenly lifted and the tearing sensation around my mid-section stopped right away. My mind also became so much clearer as if everything in my past was ancient history. The young man sitting next to me on the bus handed me a piece of gum saying, “This will make you feel better.” I said thanks and planned to clarify the truth to him. Just then I felt like vomiting again, but the discomfort was much less. I thought to myself I must do what a Dafa disciple should do and must completely negate the old forces’ arrangement. I pulled myself together and began to talk to him. After learning he was a law student, I gave examples that revealed how the Chinese Communist party (CCP) acted above the law. I also brought up the CCP’s persecution of Falun Gong practitioners and other groups. He soon understood the truth and decided to quit the Party and its organizations. He also took a copy of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and some anti-Internet blockade software. I then said good-bye when it was my stop to get off the bus.
Feeling completely exhausted, I squatted down the moment I got off the bus. Thanks to Master’s help, I knew I just won a battle against the evil. The night before I just returned home from several hundred miles away; then the following morning I went to a faraway place with a fellow practitioner to learn how to use cell phones to clarify the truth. I kept talking to people about the facts of Falun Gong on both trips. I wanted to grab something to eat because I felt very weak. Then I thought to myself, “Why do I have to eat? Isn’t this a notion to be rid of?” So I went straight home and had a good night’s sleep. The following day I was completely fine. I was happy that I was able to cultivate righteous thoughts and walk my cultivation path nobly.
Master said in the “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,”
“When you're able to walk a righteous path, that means your righteous thoughts are strong, you're doing things according to Dafa's requirements, and you're doing things according to Master's requirements, then you are negating the old forces, and you are walking your path in a righteous way.”
I came to see that only by walking the path arranged by Master can we completely negate the old forces’ arrangement. I’ll do well the three things required of Dafa disciples in order to return to my true origin with Master!