[Selected Submission] Dafa Gave Me the Courage to Live On
(Minghui.org) I brought a lot of sorrow to my family when I was born handicapped. Aside from being handicapped, I suffered from a bone marrow infection and other illnesses. As a result, my first 26 years of life were extremely miserable and I wanted to die. Luckily, I encountered Falun Dafa, which gave me a new life.
Doctors said, “Give Her Some Treats!”
When I was born, the nurse found that I had a little bump on the upper end of my hip, my feet were crooked and turning outward, and my ankles were soft. Upon careful examination, it was found that my distorted left heel had seven small holes in it, and my right hip also had a small hole. Our family was not wealthy and my parents worried constantly. My father took me to a doctor when I was seven days old. The doctor asked him to wait until I was a year old and see what happened. When I was one, the doctor said I was too old to have surgery for the problems. Subsequently, my parents took me to see every doctor in town. The doctors repeated the same sentence when their treatments failed, “Just give her some treats,” meaning that I would die.
The doctors said that I had a serious bone marrow infection. The first doctor said that I wouldn’t live past one year old. The other doctors said that I would not live long enough to grow up. When I was six, I could stand up and struggled to walk, but my feet had no feeling and I was relying on my lower legs to drag them to move. Later, when I was having a bad illness, my left heel bone was exposed and broke off. There was a black and smelly liquid that came out of my foot and dripped onto the floor. A fly accidentally stuck to it and was unable to fly away. The small hole on my hip also secreted a black, sticky fluid. Often the bone protruded from the opening. I did not have any feeling when I was urinating or defecating. The lump in my back got bigger as I grew older. My parents fed me all kinds of nutritious food, but I was still skinny. Surprisingly, I was very smart, and was able to learn anything without much effort. I was good at talking with people and all my relatives and neighbors liked me. But I was sick and weak most of the time. Sometimes all my time was spent sleeping and having meals. I felt tired even sitting up in bed, and I lived a hopeless life. With my sister-in-law complaining about me, I lost the courage to live on. I lay in bed quietly and numbly, ready to die.
As I was waiting in bed to die, I suddenly heard a voice that woke me up in my half-sleep. It was a gentle voice. I remembered that I had a feeling when I was young that I had once been a divine being in heaven, and strayed to come to this world. I struggled to sit up and decided that I would not die. I wanted to change my fate, and yearned for a miracle.
Dafa Changed My Life
I had relatives who practiced Falun Gong, and one day in April 1996 when I was 26, a relative said, “Why don’t we let Xiaoni learn Falun Dafa. It might bring about a miracle.” He gave me a book and asked me to read it. I never went to school and was illiterate, but I asked people to read it to me whenever I had a chance. I tried to memorize the words when my relative read the book. When I was alone, I tried to read it by myself, thinking that I would check with people later to see if I was reading it correctly. It turned out that all my reading was correct. My family members all felt it hard to believe. In the process, I became more energetic.
Soon someone came to our area to teach people the Falun Gong exercises. I wore a coat to cover my lower body. I sat on a specially-made chair, which had a hole in the center. A bucket was put under the hole for my discharge. The chair was set at some distance from the rest of people and it was screened with cloth so I could urinate or defecate whenever I needed to. In about two months, I was able to control my urination.
I had been on medication year-round but my health was not improving. The financial burden on my family was tremendous. After I learned Dafa, my health improved without taking any medicine. Dafa gave me the confidence to live on. I was able to help with chores at home. I helped my mother to cook and wash clothes, I helped my sister-in-law to babysit and do chores, and I became a useful member of the family. It has been sixteen years since I learned Dafa, and I have not taken a single pill during this time. I have experienced sickness karma twice. With my belief in Teacher and Dafa, I passed the ordeals successfully.
I learned that the reason one gets sick is because of karma. For a non-practitioner, by taking medicine is to push the karma back into the body which, but it may reappear when one gets older. For a practitioner, his master will take care of him. The master eliminates some of the karma for his disciples, with the remaining portion to be endured by the disciples themselves. A disciple has to endure some karma. Thus a practitioner’s symptoms of being sick is part of his karma enduring process.
My first karma enduring occurred in the autumn of 1996. I had a headache, high fever, was in coma, and had to stay in bed. I could not eat anything for an entire week, and could only drink cold water. I perspired heavily and kept urinating. One night I passed at least 40 kilograms (88 pounds) of urine. The small hole on my foot kept secreting black fluid and rotten flesh. The foot hurt with piercing pain if touched. I told my parents not to do anything, because I had already turned myself over to Teacher. Even if I died I would not regret it. It was my karma from my former lives that I needed to endure.
Seeing the improvement of my health, my family members also believed in Dafa. They supported me and endured with me. A week later, I felt refreshed, and regained my strength. Rotten flesh continued to leak from the hole in my foot later when I was doing the exercises. It stopped after two years and the hole sealed up by itself. The same thing happened to the hole on my hip after about two years.
The second episode of my sickness karma happened not too long ago. I had palpitations, was dizzy and exhausted, and had a cough and nausea. I then vomited thick mucus and rotten flesh. It lasted for two to three days. I insisted on doing the exercises and listening to Teacher’s lectures. Once when I was half awake, I heard thunderous noises in my head. I thought that this must be a good thing, and I was not affected. Once when I was meditating, I felt clearly a big hand grabbing two pieces of black lumps, one heart shaped and the other stomach shaped from my left chest and upper abdomen, and then it was thrown into the garbage can. I felt that the two corresponding spots had been pulled. Another time I felt that my lower stomach was stuffy, and then a bucketful of dirty fluid was discharged from my lower body in another dimension. It lasted for four to five days. After this sickness-karma enduring process, I became clear headed and my appetite became very good.
The lump on my back grew with me as I was growing. It was as though a woman was pregnant with a baby, but it was carried in the back. Once in my meditation, I felt that my head was stuffy, and then my body below my waist also felt stuffy. A heavy body was pressed downward from my head. Then it felt like a black, human shaped figure had been separated from me. From then on, the feeling that a cold body was attached right next to me was gone, and the load on my back was removed and I could stand straight.
My life has been a complete rebirth. Everyone owes a great deal to their teachers and they need to repay their debts. For me, what I owe to Teacher is too difficult for me to repay. I have knelt in front of Teacher’s picture with teary eyes and have cried out loud many times, as it is Teacher who gave me a new life. He opened my wisdom and eliminated karma for me. He suffered and paid my debt for me, and let me know the purpose of being a human. My parents gave me my physical body, but Teacher gave me my life. How can I repay my debt? When Dafa was persecuted and Teacher was attacked by slander, my heart was broken. I want to seek justice for Teacher and Dafa. I want to tell my story so that people around the world know how good Dafa is. Teacher is most benevolent and is here to save people. One should never believe what the Chinese Communist Party says, as it is all lies.
I have many friends that I tell about the wonders of Dafa whenever I meet them. I tell people that Teacher was wrongly accused. I use my own experience to validate Dafa and let people know the facts. I formed a Fa-study group at home and studied Dafa with a few elderly practitioners. I live a simple life to save money so that it can be used for the information center to help save sentient beings.
I relied on my steadfast belief in Teacher and Dafa during the most difficult times. All my relatives and friends believe in Dafa after seeing my changes. No matter how tough the situation was, members of my family never interfered with my cultivation. No matter how long my journey in the future is, I will follow Teacher until I reach my destination.
I have learned to write and use the dictionary. I can read Dafa books, but I cannot write articles. A fellow practitioner wrote this article for me following my narration.
From the Call for Submissions to Commemorate the Twentieth Anniversary of Falun Dafa’s Introduction