(Minghui.org) I am a 21-year-old practitioner from mainland China. I would like to share some of my understandings based on the Fa. Besides encouraging myself to continue cultivation diligently, I also hope more young practitioners, who are lost in ordinary human society, will awaken and quickly return to this place of purity through cultivation in Dafa.
Obtaining the Fa
I obtained the Fa in 1998. At that time, almost everyone in my family practiced Falun Dafa. I was very young at that time, and although sitting in the lotus position was very painful, I was still able to achieve the wonderful state of sitting within an eggshell. Not long after, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started the persecution. Unfortunately my family members chose to listen to the CCP, burning books, throwing away video tapes, and hurling insults. But I followed my mother and continued cultivating. To me, Master was like my closest family member.
I was very diligent as a child, always following my mother to study the Fa and do the exercises. By the time I reached junior high, my workload had become so great that I was no longer able to prioritize Fa study. Instead I gave it the same importance as my piano lessons, drawing lessons and dance lessons: All compulsory duties to be completed daily. I made it my goal in life to achieve outstanding results and recognition through painting. However, I now understand that, from primary school to junior high to senior high, I had been attached to ordinary person's “fame”. Only after suffering 2 setbacks during my college entrance exams did I realize the harm attachment to “fame” could cause.
Returning Once More
Through hard work, I gained admission into a well-known secondary school in another province. I was very rebellious at that time, quarreling furiously with my mother every day. Believing that my mother’s discipline was too harsh, I even ran away from home.
Towards the end of my summer vacation, my mother was sentenced to 2 years of imprisonment in a forced labor camp for distributing truth clarification CDs. Filled with fear and confusion I traveled to the other province for my studies, and managed to ride out those two stress filled years. I started to think about the meaning of life. In the past everything I did was arranged by my mother, including major decisions such as taking up Fa study. But with the shocking realization that my mother wouldn't be at my side, I knew that I had to grow up and I started to think about what I wanted for myself. I knew that I could not remain attached to ordinary human society's desires, and decided to look towards spiritual fulfillment. In this way, I started to rationally choose to cultivate in Falun Dafa and became a practitioner.
The CCP forced my father to divorce mother while she was imprisoned. Soon after, he remarried and claimed our house for his new family. I was unable to help my mother in any way. Powerless, I cried every day from worry. Perhaps Master took pity on me, and He clearly projected a thought in my mind, “Why not seek help from your geography teacher?”
My junior high geography teacher is a practitioner. While I was in the second year my mother mentioned that this teacher had been {[illegally arrested}} and sentenced. I had no idea how long she had been imprisoned, and for the past 3 years we had not been in contact. I could barely recall where she lived, but relying on my hazy memory, I set out to search for her home, getting increasingly emotional with every step while feeling that something was awaiting me at the end. Unbeknownst to me, that day was the day my life started anew when I reconnected to Dafa.
I finally found my old teacher’s home and uncertainly knocked on the door. The door opened and my teacher smilingly welcomed me saying, “I just mentioned you in a passing conversation yesterday, but never expected you would visit today.” Everything felt like it was arranged by Master.
Soon after, my mother was released from the forced labor camp. My geography teacher and I went to welcome my extremely happy mother back. With my teacher’s encouragement, I started studying the Fa again and even watched Shen Yun Performing Arts DVDs. I happily left my hometown to finish my final year in senior high, bringing my Dafa books with me.
Validating Dafa
In December 2009, my mother was arrested again and sent to a detention center. She had only been released from a forced labor camp a few months before. This time I understood my responsibilities and slowly matured, from understanding Dafa on an emotional level to seeing things rationally.
However, while studying Master’s latest teachings, I was unable to reflect inwards on my own thoughts and actions. I only wanted to gain a minimum understanding of the Fa to write letters of encouragement to my mother. I hoped Master’s Fa would allow her to overcome this obstacle with righteous thoughts.
During the winter holidays, my geography teacher and I decided to find a lawyer for my mother. Our main purpose was not to hire a good lawyer, but to clarify the truth to the various lawyers. We visited a lot of law firms. Some declined with the excuse that they only took on financial cases, others told us they had been officially notified by the CCP, and were warned not to defend Falun Gong practitioners, before turning us away. Other lawyers voiced their fear of having their licenses revoked, while others directly criticized us. Finally we found a lawyer willing to take the case, but on the condition that the defendant did not plead innocent.
The lawyer took every opportunity to visit my mother at the detention center, bringing back a lot of news. My mother’s hearing started one year later. Under pressure, our lawyer was prevented from defending my mother, and the job of defending her fell to me. While I read the defense statement, everyone, from the judge to the prosecutors to the 610 office officials, were silent and did not interrupt once. The scene was unnaturally quiet while I loudly read the words I had written. I could feel every word clearly being imprinted in their minds. I asked them, “Why are these good people arrested and how could you bear to tear my mother and I apart again?” Nobody uttered a word in reply and the court session silently ended.
Cleansing Oneself
Afterwards, I started rationally understanding Dafa. Here I will talk about how I let go of my attachments to fame, material interests and emotions.
My attachment to fame was huge. As a child I was bent on accomplishing something big, and held tightly to the attachment of becoming famous. After failing my college entrance exams twice, I was finally able to let go of this attachment.
As I read Master’s lectures my tears fell like rain. Upon reading the two words “return home”, my tears stopped and I decided to advance vigorously on my cultivation path. After studying the Fa longer, I realized that “fame” is very limited. Even if one was to gain recognition in ordinary human society, this could not be compared to the privilege of “returning home”, and the precious opportunity to honor our ancient vows.
My other attachment is to material gain. Influenced by my peers, I started desiring brand-name clothes, and measured a person's worth by these expensive items. However at my new university, I was surrounded by students from rural areas. Though poor in terms of material wealth, their lives were pure and simple. By observing them I was reminded that practitioners should not live extravagantly and I let go of my attachment to material things.
My other attachment is to emotions. When my mother was illegally arrested the second time, I realized that my emotional attachment to family had to go. I understood that my cultivation state would have an impact on my mother, and that we both needed to overcome our sentimental attachment to each other. Due to this attachment, my mother never participated in any extra activities in the past, preferring to accompany me. I too would cry and fuss when I was separated from her. The old forces took advantage of this large attachment to persecute my mother twice. After her second arrest, I worked hard to let go of my feeling of missing her, knowing that I could not drag my mother down with this attachment. Therefore when I wrote to my mother, I no longer wrote about how much I missed her. Instead I wrote about my understandings on cultivation and encouraged my mother to advance together with me, in the hope that she would also elevate in understanding through my experiences. I also understood the phrase, “…will come one after another, entering the Dao and obtaining the Fa.” (Essentials for Further Advancement, “Enlightenment”) My mother and I came down together to obtain the Fa and fulfill our vows. I have to become more independent despite my age and we have to step up together to bear this great responsibility, encouraging each other, and learning from one another.
The prison guards forbade me from seeing my mother, and we were separated for another 2 years. This winter vacation, encouraged by fellow practitioners, I decided to find the head officer in charge of the prison. I did not even entertain the possibility of seeing my mother. I went back and forth for 3 days, going from the prison, to the detention center, to the 610 Office, before finally meeting my mother on the fourth day. This time my mother’s mindset was very good, and we chatted happily without crying for half an hour. This was vastly different from the last time my mother was imprisoned 5 years before. Then she was unable to let go of me, crying and sobbing. This time, my mother smilingly bid me farewell.
The first time I experienced the passing of a loved one was last year, when my schizophrenic uncle killed himself. Unable to bear my mother’s repeated imprisonment and his prolonged illness, which caused the family much trouble, he committed suicide by overdosing on medicine. After the CCP began persecuting practitioners, our family members treated us like enemies and only my uncle cared for my mother and I, constantly giving us small amounts of money to help out. Faced with my uncle’s suicide, I was reminded that life is precious, and to steadfastly cultivate in Dafa. After grieving for a while, I continue to smile and greet every new day, thanking Master especially for what He has given me.
Steadfastly Cultivating to the End
Now that I rationally understand the importance of my mission, I know that I should not live for fame, wealth or any emotional ties which belong to ordinary society. Understanding the goodness of Dafa is no longer an emotional thing, but one that emanates from the depths of my heart, a truly rational understanding of my responsibilities.
I always remind myself, I can give up anything in ordinary human society, and nothing can interfere with me. Now as soon as I have free time, I study the Fa. I look inward, identifying those things I have not done well, constantly comparing my cultivation state to the standards of the Fa, and strive to cultivate away my faults. Sometimes when the surrounding environment does not feel right, I send forth righteous thoughts. Afterwards when I venture out of my room, many students, even those whom I do not know, smile at me.
I also clarify the truth to my schoolmates and strive to do my best, starting from myself, in order to improve the environment. I showed my classmates a truth clarification video and they all understood. Now when other students voice their misconceptions of Dafa, my schoolmates will invariably take the initiative to clarify that Falun Dafa is good, even before I have a chance to open my mouth. I also put together a truth clarification letter, writing letters to former classmates to tell them about my personal experiences, that Falun Dafa is good.
I fold small lotuses in my bedroom to give to students, especially for those who I meet less often. Usually when we meet again, they will greet me happily. These small lotus flowers have helped construct an invisible bridge between myself and my schoolmates, laying a foundation for my future truth clarification.
Conclusion
I walked on the road of cultivation for 14 years, before I realized the magnitude of Master’s compassion. Even though time and again I lost myself in ordinary human society, Master never gave up on me, guiding me to where I am now. During difficult times over the last ten years, especially during those incredibly painful moments, I relied on Master’s guidance and care to overcome those obstacles and eliminate attachments.
Now, I find that nothing can block my cultivation path, and I am determined to cultivate to the end. Though time is urgent, I will not waste any more time indulging in ordinary peoples' pursuits. I feel like I am flying, constantly using Dafa to examine myself and enlightening to something new every day.
I wrote down the 14 years of my cultivation experiences hoping to encourage other young Dafa practitioners. We hurried to come to this world during this point in time in order to obtain the Fa, cultivate, and assist Master in Fa rectification. We came to families who were predestined to obtain the Fa and experienced much suffering. All this was arranged by Master in order to let us fulfill our vows, therefore we should also awaken to our true purpose in life.
This is my first experience sharing article, please correct any mistakes.
