(Clearwisdom.net) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 10 years, and I have read Zhuan Falun over 100 times. I know that, as a practitioner, regardless of what I encounter, I should always look inside myself. However, when conflicts occurred, I always forgot to look inside. Later, when I did understand the Fa more rationally and really looked inside myself, all the conflicts were gone, and my mind became broader. I deeply feel that searching inside is indeed a magical tool. Here I'd like to share two examples.
A local experience sharing conference was held in May 2009. The coordinator, A, asked B to notify me about it, but B didn't. On the day of the conference, it was the birthday of a relative's grandson, and I was invited to the party. That night, my wife told me that she had heard about the conference.
The next day, I asked B why she didn't notify me, and she said that she thought I wouldn't attend. I was very angry, “How do you know I wouldn't attend it? Didn't I attend it every other year?” And I irrationally complained a lot about it. B didn't say anything to defend herself.
The attachment to complaining about the other person has been buried deeply in my mind for a long time and had become a barrier to improving myself. I calmed down to study the Fa and checked to see if I followed what Master said. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“In genuine cultivation practice one must cultivate one’s own heart and inner self. One should search inside oneself rather than outside.” (“Lecture Nine”)
I realized that I did have the thought of being unwilling to attend the experience sharing conference, which the evil took advantage of. I recalled that a few days before the conference, coordinator A told me about the conference. I suggested that we hold the conference at night so that we could have a longer conference. However, A preferred the daytime because under the special circumstances in Mainland China, it would be better not to have the conference go too long, and it would be safer during the daytime than at night. Because A didn't take my suggestion, deep in my mind, I didn't want to attend the conference. I felt it would be better to go to the relative's party because I could clarify the truth to relatives and persuade them to quit the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations. In addition, I have the attachment to human emotions and was afraid that I would offend my relative if I didn't go to their party. I didn't put the conference as the first priority. When I realized this, the conflicts were gone, and I didn't complain about practitioner B anymore. Instead, I felt ashamed that I had treated B so badly. Now my mind is broader, and I deeply experienced that searching inside is indeed a magic tool.
Only by Searching Within Can Practitioners Totally Destroy the Old Forces' Persecution
In February 2012, I temporarily moved to my youngest son's home. At night, I got a very high fever. I took it as “eliminating karma” and thought it was a good thing.
The second day, it was windy and I felt very cold. At night I kept coughing. The next few days and nights, I was very uncomfortable. I was in great pain, could not sleep, and could not eat anything; I could only drink water. I lost weight. My son, relatives, and friends all said that I had a serious illness and should go to the hospital. I told them that I hadn't taken a pill for 15 years—ever since I had begun to practice Falun Gong—and that I had no illness; I was just uncomfortable and would recover soon. For many days, I simply stayed at home studying the Fa and practicing the exercises without going out to clarify the truth. I thought the reason why I was unwell was because I had caught a cold. I only looked outside.
It was Master who enlightened me. In the first lecture of Zhuan Falun, Master said,
“The above are the two reasons for not being able to increase gong. Without knowing the Fa at high levels, one cannot practice cultivation. Without cultivating one’s inner self and one’s xinxing, one cannot increase gong. These are the two reasons.”
I realized that I didn't understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa, and I took the false appearance created by the old forces as the reason. I took the old force's persecuting me as “eliminating karma,” and I acknowledged the persecution.
When I searched inside, I found other attachments, like fighting, jealousy, showing off, etc. Then I started to send forth righteous thoughts: “I am a Dafa practitioner, I only follow what my Master arranged for me. I don't acknowledge any other arrangements and totally deny all arrangements made by the old forces.” At the same time, I repeated, “Falun Dafa is good; Zhan-Shan-Ren is good” in my mind. With Master's help, all the pain was gone. When I did the three things well, everything was back to normal, and I was full of energy.
