Minghui Fahui | Balancing Family Matters and Validating Dafa While Saving Sentient Beings
(Minghui.org) Before my husband started cultivating Falun Gong, he saw how much I benefited from practicing, both mentally and physically. I was energetic all day long, healthy, cheerful, honest, kind, humble, and patient. He saw how firm my faith was, and thus he was very happy. He told every person he met, “Falun Gong is good. My wife practices Falun Gong... This is good, that's good.” He also brought up many examples that validated the goodness of Falun Gong disciples. No matter how great the pressure from persecution, he unconditionally supported me with Dafa projects that I was working on, and never complained.
- From the author
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Greetings revered Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I've been a Dafa disciple since 1996. Looking back on my ten years of cultivation, through continuous Fa study and looking within, I feel that I've gradually become a lot more mature in my cultivation. I am moved less by human mindsets and am more rational, I can do the three things with wisdom, I am proactive in helping other practitioners, and I quietly harmonize our one body. I have had many enlightenments. This article is about one particular enlightenment that I'd like to submit to the 9th China Fahui on Minghui.org. It is about looking within and balancing well your home environment when faced with conflicts at home.
My husband is a very considerate person. Before he started cultivating in Dafa, he saw how I had benefited so much from practicing, both mentally and physically. I am energetic all day long, healthy, cheerful, honest, kind, humble, and patient. He saw how I had such firm faith, and thus he was extremely happy. He told every person he met, “Falun Gong is good. My wife practices Falun Gong... This is good, that's good.” He also brought up many examples that validated the goodness of Falun Gong disciples. No matter how great the pressure from the persecution, he unconditionally supported me with all Dafa projects I worked on, and he never complained. When I went out and distributed truth-clarification materials, he held the bag and look out for me. When I traveled far to distribute materials, he took me on his bike. Through wind and rain, under Master's compassionate care, and with the inseparable support and dedication from my husband, I've been able to continue on this path up until today.
Practitioners often came to our home over the years, and my husband alway smiled at them. If a practitioner was taken away, he tried to save that practitioner through joint efforts with his network of friends. During the period between 2000 and 2005, I was arrested and detained on many occasions. He worked so hard trying to rescue me.
One time when I was detained he went to the police department and the 610 Office and asked, “On what basis did you arrest my wife? What crime did she commit in practicing Falun Gong to be a good person? She is virtuous, kind, selfless, and hard-working. She respects the elderly and takes care of the young, she is considerate of her husband, and everything about her is good! Falun Gong has produced such a good person, and you still arrest practitioners? The heavenly principles will not allow it! You arrest a good person and are not afraid of retribution? No matter what, you absolutely must release my wife! No one is allowed to lay a finger on her, otherwise they'll have to answer to me!”
I was once sentenced to 18 months of forced labor. My husband ran about every day attempting to obtain my release. He repeatedly visited the higher levels of the 610 Office, the local 610 Office, the Domestic Security Team, and the detention center. After his painstaking efforts, I was released. After being arrested several times, I was still able to return home smoothly as a result of my husband's unyielding determination.
His righteousness and kindness has not only moved heaven and earth, but has also laid a solid foundation for his beautiful future. He was once riding his motorbike with me on the back when another car suddenly turned left in front of us, forcing my husband to slam on the brakes which caused the motorbike to fall. My husband lost consciousness right away. It seemed he almost died as there was a lot of blood on the ground. There were many people surrounding us. I panicked, and with a very strong main consciousness, asked Master to save my husband. I heard my husband suddenly exhale. Someone immediately called for emergency rescue. I was firm that he was still alive. I told him to follow me in reciting “Falun Dafa hao.” When he was taken to the emergency care unit at the hospital, my heart remained unmoved, I just made sure to keep him listening to Master's lectures until midnight. Magically, he suddenly opened his eyes and regained consciousness! There were also no subsequent complications, and everything was fine.
Our area's material production site was raided in 2007. For a short period of time we were unable to produce enough materials to meet the needs for saving sentient beings. In order to help save more people I established a materials production site at home. Under Master's merciful care, this little flower has never wilted and remains in full bloom. When the materials production site was first established, some unnecessary troubles emerged.
One day I brought a printer home. When my husband saw it he was furious and said, “Oh, you used to take the materials from others and distribute them, which I could accept, and I've covered for you countless times! Now you've really gotten brave! You even bring a printer home to produce materials here! You're pushing your luck! I want to break this thing so you won't be able to do anything with it!” I didn't make a sound. I knew it was just a test to see if I was resolute in establishing the materials production site. In my heart I said to Master, “Master, your disciple must establish the materials production site!” My husband's temper then suddenly eased considerably. He didn't break anything, and he changed his mind and went outside.
After going outside, not having walked too far, he bumped into an old friend, which made him really happy. This friend was very excited and hugged my husband, when suddenly my husband had extreme back pain. He told me that something happened, and then went to the hospital. The diagnosis was a fractured vertebrae. He was told that at a minimum, he would be in a hospital bed for three months until he could walk. If he needed to use the toilet, someone would always have to accompany him. Upon hearing this my husband was annoyed, “How could it be like this? It was merely a hug, how could this happen to me?” As such he kept questioning himself and “suddenly” he thought of something. It must be retribution because he lost his temper and wanted to hit the printer. Normally my husband, either intentionally or unintentionally, hears some of Master's lectures. He immediately called me to apologize and said, “I said the wrong thing this afternoon. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'm being punished for that. When I hugged my friend my back was fractured, and it was extremely painful. The doctor said I have to stay in the hospital... I sincerely apologize to you!”
I was very moved by my husband's sincerity. My husband, an everyday person who hasn't even studied the Fa, is able to act in such a noble way. However, I sometimes said harsh words to him. I'm really self-absorbed and was not being considerate. If I could respect him more and be more grateful toward him, then before moving the printer home, I should have explained it to him with rationality. I could have kindly told him somethings like, “All these years I've walked steadily because of your wholehearted efforts and help. I really appreciate your help! Thank you! There's something else that I'd like to discuss with you. It's a lot of trouble for both other practitioners and myself, not to mention the delays as well as your worrying about me. Let's buy a printer to produce more materials. With your effort and support, it will be both safe and convenient. It will really save me from running back and forth outside. What do you think?” However, I didn't say any of that. And I didn't think to speak in a kind tone of voice, to be compassionate, nor discuss the issue based on rationality with my husband. If at that time I were really able to do that, then probably my husband wouldn't have lost his temper and fractured his back.
I was even more surprised and humbled by the following. When I was about to pick my husband up, he walked inside uncomfortably and said, “Master is truly good. After I apologized to you, the pain in my lower back alleviated. I became clear that it wasn't a fracture.” As he finished speaking he rushed toward Master's portrait, put his hands together in heshi, kneeled and repented, “Master, I was wrong!” Afterwards, without a word he went to the bedroom, held the book Zhuan Falun in his hands and started to study Dafa! In less than a week the so-called “fracture” that doctor diagnosed had disappeared.
While balancing well the family and validating the Fa with them, I haven't actually just focused on my husband, but also my daughter, younger brother, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law. Since obtaining the Fa in 1996, I've brought along my eleven year-old daughter to cultivate Dafa. Master has opened her wisdom. She has studied with ease to finally graduate with a Master's degree. She is now a project manager in an Internet firm. Shortly after my daughter got married, her husband obtained the Fa. They gave birth to a healthy and intelligent boy.
My younger brother and his wife are both unemployed. They devoutly believe that Falun Dafa is good. Due to their arduous efforts in trying to support the family, and having a hard time earning money to support their son's school fees, they did not practice Dafa. Last year, all within just more than a month's time, my younger brother was involved in three serious car accidents. Particularly the last one, the car was badly damaged, but he was safe and unhurt. He said, “If I don't start practicing Dafa now, I'm letting down merciful Master.” As such, my younger brother then started cultivating in Dafa. His business is now outstandingly profitable.
Due to my sister-in-law's large, unpaid debts as a result of her long-term gambling, her husband was so angry that he divorced her. Her creditors even came to my home every few days. My mother-in-law's pension of 2,000 yuan per month was all given to her to repay her gambling debts. We took care of my mother-in-law's daily expense and I considered that I had done my best. Then came another incident where my sister-in-law was going to have surgery to remove a uterine tumor. No one could take care of her, so I took the initiative to take a week off and cared for her. After dealing with that matter, my mother-in-law suddenly had a cerebral hemorrhage and was hospitalized. Both my husband's and my wages totaled a bit over 3,000 yuan per month. My brother-in-law and his wife had also just been laid off from work, and were thus not able to support themselves financially. I clearly knew that all these tests were directed at my xinxing. It was really one test after another, after another! It was so difficult! It was to see how I'd balance the troubles in my family.
I thought of what Master said in “People with Great Inborn Quality” in Zhuan Falun,
“Meanwhile, this person should also be able to endure the toughest hardships of all.”
Once I remembered that Fa, I had more perspective, and I said to my husband, “Let's do our best to help mom. We'll take care of all of her hospital expenses. We can just economize on things.” My husband was very moved. After my mother had been in emergency care at the hospital for more than ten days she passed away. After the funeral, my husband's nephew and niece asked us to pay for the wreaths they bought. My sister-in-law complained about me in front of the guests. I didn't argue with her. We paid for all of my mother-in-law's funeral expenses. Everyone present said that Falun Gong was very good. My husband's friend was very excited and shouted, “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance is good!” As such, my own simple and selfless attitude was able to help quietly save the people there. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law also both quit the Chinese Communist Party.
I thought that all family conflicts should be resolved by this stage. About a year after that incident, just after I finished sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight, my husband came home and said, “It's so annoying!” I asked what was the matter. He said his sister wanted another 20,000 yuan so she could go to work. Upon hearing that I replied, “Does she really need that much money to go out to work? I don't know how much we owed her in a previous life, but this is endlessly haunting us!” After I said that, my husband was angry and unexpectedly said, “Tomorrow we'll get divorced! Don't quarrel!” At that time I was so angry that my insides were all trembling. I asked my husband, “In the past several decades what is it that I should be apologizing to you or your family for? You went so far as to say that. You should give me an answer. I was so angry that I fainted. When I woke up, my voice was gone.
However, I continued to unleash my anger on my husband, and I didn't look within at all. I just felt that he broke my heart. I did the three things on the surface each day, and this dragged on for a few months, until my daughter got married. My cousin, who is also a practitioner, came to my home to congratulate us. She quietly listened to what I said about the incident, then compassionately pointed out, “It's totally your fault. You were moved, and are still lost and unenlightened because of your personal grudge, jealousy, competitiveness, attachment to material possessions, an unbalanced heart, not being satisfied, and selfishness.” Compassionate Master, through another practitioner's mouth, gave me a “stick warning” as I was failing to live up to expectations. I suddenly understood and I was relieved. I gratefully told her, “Thank you for your help!” My cousin happily told me, “Ah, you can talk now!” I was also happy and kept saying, “Thank you Master! Thank you Master!”
I thank our magnificent Master for the arduous and compassionate salvation. At long last I broke though a big xinxing barrier in my cultivation!
After getting through this xinxing test, and through reading Master's other lectures as well as listening to Master's Fa lecture to the Australian practitioners, I truly calmed down and looked within. I had a renewed insight into cultivation. As a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, one that shoulders the historic mission of saving sentient beings, we haven't come here to live as ordinary people. The conflicts that happen around us are all for increasing our forbearance and broadening our hearts. Cultivators can endure all hardships. It's really shameful that I even fainted from anger! I am unworthy of Master's merciful teachings. Cultivation is about cultivating one's xinxing. If I do not earnestly cultivate my heart, all my wishes will be in vain. Master said,
“But the reality is, each Dafa disciple's life has been tightly wed to, like links in a chain, his cultivation. So when you relax yourself, it amounts to relaxing in your cultivation.” ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference")
I made my decision, “From today on I must be diligent and genuinely cultivate myself like a Dafa disciple, and not let down Master's arduous and merciful salvation.” Only by cultivating oneself well can one do a better job at saving sentient beings. In the midst of conflicts I need to truly cultivate myself. I need to persistently and one by one, weaken and eliminate the attachments of hatred, jealousy, competitiveness, desire for material possessions, an unbalanced heart, feeling of not being satisfied, selfishness, and affection for family. I also need to harmonize doing well the three things in my daily life and work. With everything I do, I need to maintain a cultivator's mindset, behavior, and attitude. The righteous words and actions of Dafa disciples in the family is also validating the Fa. Balancing well the family relationships is one good way of validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. As to whether one can fulfill one's vow, it has to be seen than one can really put it into practice.
“When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: 'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'” (Zhuan Falun)
Master, if there's anything inappropriate, please let me know. And fellow practitioners, please kindly point it out.