(Minghui.org) I am 57 years old and started Dafa cultivation in 1998. With Teacher’s protection and fellow practitioners’ help, and relying on my steadfast belief in Dafa and Teacher, I have cultivated for 14 years. I have endured tribulations ever since the persecution began and was twice put in forced labor camps. During the difficult times, I was bewildered and experienced the pain of getting rid of attachments. I regretted not doing well during my tribulations but was grateful after I elevated my moral character. I gradually became more mature, and am doing better and better on my cultivation path. Below are some of my experiences for Teacher and fellow practitioners.
My husband had a bad temper, and we fought over trifles for years. Sometimes he hit me. Our mental and cultural states differed a lot, and we had nothing in common. Before I began my cultivation, I had thought that I would divorce him or separate from him as soon as our daughter went to college. A few months before my daughter did go to college in 1998, I learned Dafa, which completely changed my life. After I began to cultivate, in the first few years I was able to yield to my husband whenever I had conflicts with him. I did my best to contain myself, thinking, “You are helping me to cultivate. You are giving me de (virtue).” But he became worse and worse, and his words became harder and harder for me to bear. It was exactly like what was said in Zhuan Falun: “if it doesn’t provoke you, it doesn’t count.” I could not stand it and went from smiling to crying, and began to fight with him and could not pass the tribulations. Sometimes he got mad over a trifle matter, and sometimes he was mad for no apparent reason. I knew these were all for me to elevate my xinxing. I should not hit back when attacked or talk back when insulted. But I failed to be totally calm and not get angry each time. I did not enlighten to the situation and look inward, and always felt that it was his fault. My daughter said that I was also partially at fault, but I always looked for excuses. My tribulations continued off and on for several years. It was like a high wall before me that I could not get over no matter what I did.
One day a fellow practitioner who knew me said, “You would almost be done with your cultivation once you pass the tribulation laid in front of you by your husband.” Indeed, I could not understand why this tribulation was so hard to pass. I always felt that I was not at fault each time the conflict occurred. Why didn’t I look for my own problems? Teacher said,
“In cultivation, when you’re really having trouble with somebody, or when other people treat you badly, it could be one of two scenarios. One is that you might have mistreated them in your previous life. You feel wronged, 'Why are they treating me like that?' Well, why did you treat them like that before? You say, 'I don’t know anything about back then. This lifetime has nothing to do with that lifetime.' But it doesn’t work like that. There’s another scenario. When you’re clashing with somebody, there’s the issue of transforming karma involved, so when we’re handling each of them we should be very forgiving, and we shouldn’t act like ordinary people.”(Zhuan Falun)
Indeed, I was bad to him before, and I owed him. How could I not repay him? If I didn’t repay my debt and get it resolved satisfactorily, how could I follow Teacher home? Teacher has told us many times that we need to look inward when facing conflicts, but I never did. I did not know how to cultivate and only looked superficially when I did look inward, and did not truly cultivate myself. This time I calmed down and seriously looked inward. I found that my tone of voice when I talked to him was not nice, and I had a tendency to look down on him. Sometimes I did not look at things from his point of view; I did not care about him very much; we lacked communication; I often was self-righteous and forced my opinions on him. When I discovered all these bad attachments, and gradually cultivated them away, my husband no longer got angry, and our conflicts were resolved. The whole family became harmonious.
Only then did I truly realize the wonder of looking inward. Looking inward is indeed a powerful tool. It is a tool that Teacher gave us to get rid of ghosts and demons and move forward. You cannot see or touch this weapon, but it is everywhere at all times. As long as we can look inward on every occasion, be calm in facing any issue or criticism that other people raise, correct ourselves if needed, look inward whenever experiencing a conflict, and use this “looking inward” tool on each and every occasion, then all tribulations on our path of cultivation are easily resolved.
In 2006, my company ordered some equipment. The manager arranged for me to work with an assistant manager in charge since I was responsible for the finances. We contacted several suppliers, selected one, and signed a contract with them. Afterwards the salesman from the supplier brought me 10,000 yuan as a gift, but I did not take it. The next day he brought the money to my home and said that everyone did it. If I would not take it, the assistant manager would not dare to take it, either. So he left the money with me. Later I reported the situation to my manager, who suggested that I keep the money.
A year passed, and I continued to feel that I should not have taken the money and wanted to return it. I did not earn the money. I should not act like an ordinary person. An ordinary person seeks fame and profit, and I should not be like that. These are exactly the attachments that we practitioners need to get rid of. Comparing my behavior with what Dafa requires, I developed righteous thoughts right away and felt I needed to return the money. I immediately called the salesperson to return the money. He was surprised to hear from me. He said, “What happened? Is something wrong?” I said, “Nothing is wrong. I am a Falun Gong practitioner. I cannot take your money. Why don’t you tell me the account number so I can transfer the money to you.” The next day he called me after he got the money and said, “You are just too good.” I took the opportunity to tell him about the facts about Falun Gong and told him to often recite “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” so that he would be safe when tribulations came. Later I sent him some emails to tell him the facts about Dafa and urged him to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations.
I became acquainted with someone from out of town through work, but we did not contact each other for a dozen or so years. After the big earthquake in 2008, he looked all over for me, worrying about my safety, and found me through many intermediaries. I felt that he had a predestined relationship that Teacher had arranged to hear the truth and be saved, so we made an appointment to meet. I told him that I had learned Dafa in 1998 and had not taken a single pill ever since. I was very healthy and pleasant and my body and mind were totally relaxed. I told him that Falun Gong is an advanced Buddha school cultivation practice and it cultivates Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, that Falun Gong has spread to over a hundred countries around the world and millions of people are practicing it, that Falun Gong has been persecuted by the CCP in China since 1999, and the facts of the persecution. I gave him some informational materials for him to read at home. I was told that he was a professional in the armed services and a CCP member, so I talked with him about quitting the CCP and urged him to do so. He said, “I understand what you are saying. I will go home and read the materials, but please do not tell me to quit the CCP anymore.” Later we met a few more times. He would take the informational materials, but each time he asked me not to mention quitting the CCP.
A few years passed. When I met with him last year, he told me that he had been in two car accidents in a month. Both times he was riding a motorcycle and was hit by a big truck and thrown several yards away. He felt a slight pain when he got up. The driver asked him how he was and wanted to take him to the hospital. He said, “I am in a hurry on business. Why don’t you give me your phone number and I will call you if needed.” His pain was gone the next day and he had no further discomfort. He said, “I could not understand why I was basically unscathed in two accidents. (He was over 60.) My family and friends were wondering the same thing. Can it truly be that the amulet(1) you gave me works?” I said, “Because you had a righteous thought, believing that Falun Dafa is good. It works if you believe it.” He said, “I have carried it with me since you gave it to me. I also passed the Falun Gong information materials to my relatives and friends.” I said, “There is one more thing. Why don’t you quit the CCP?” This time he agreed. He said, “I know now that I am asking the divine to erase my connection. Only by quitting the CCP can one be safe. I will ask my relatives and friends to do it, too.” He asked me for a copy of Zhuan Falun and some more information materials. He also asked for a few more amulets to give to friends. This July he asked me to give him a practice tape, a Shen Yun DVD, brochures, and amulets. Later he called me to ask for 100 amulets for his friends. He said he wanted to help those predestined people to escape the big calamity. Indeed in the process of our telling people the facts and saving people, Teacher has arranged everything. All we need to do is to do it diligently.
After over ten eventful years of cultivation and having fallen many times, I cultivated away my attachments bit by bit, and passed tribulations one after another. Seeing my steadfast belief in Dafa and Teacher, Teacher has guided me along, although I have not been that diligent. I am still far from what Teacher requires me to be. I still have not removed completely all my human notions and my human shell. I still have some fear when telling people the facts about Falun Gong and validating the Fa, and I have missed many predestined people. Through these years of cultivation, I have realized that the stronger one’s human notions and attachments are, the more trouble one will have. If one has Dafa in his mind and always holds righteous thoughts, there will be no test or tribulation one cannot pass.
We came to this day after millions of years of waiting and innumerable reincarnations. Teacher found us in this human world and cleansed us with Dafa, so that we can help wake up sentient beings. Teacher has spent so much effort and endured so much suffering to convert us from an ordinary person who is full of karma into a Dafa disciple. All we can do to repay Teacher is to be diligent, and more diligent. Let us make good use of the meager time remaining and work hard. Let us do the three things well and save sentient beings so that we can fulfill our pre-historic promises and live up to Teacher’s saving us.
Note: (1) Amulets – In China, practitioners sometimes clarify the truth by giving people something small to wear or cherish, bearing a few words reminding them of the goodness of Dafa.
