(Minghui.org)
Greetings to our compassionate great Master!
Greetings, fellow practitioners!
It was a great honor to become a Dafa disciple at the beginning of 2008. Fellow practitioners have said that I was blessed to come into the practice at the end of the Fa rectification and become a life that even Gods admire! I will cherish this opportunity that happens only once in thousands of years, and listen to Master, move forward diligently and vigorously, and return to my original home. I would like to share some of my experiences over the past four years under Master's care. Please compassionately point out anything inappropriate.
Cooperate Well with Fellow Practitioners When Looking Inward During a Conflict
I saw some good equipment used for truth clarification projects at Practitioner A's home. A practitioner from another city had brought it. It was very good, especially since I had always wanted to install a television receiver to watch the New Tang Dynasty television programs. The practitioner from the other city told me that she knew how to install the receiver. I was very happy to hear that and told her that I wanted to install one. Practitioner A then said, “Another practitioner wants to install the receiver and learn how to install it. It is enough that one practitioner in our area learns it. How about you buy the equipment so that she can learn how to install it?” I was not happy to hear that, but the thought just flashed through my mind and quickly went away.
The practitioner from the other city then showed me a new cell phone and told me that it was better than the other brands, as it could send over a hundred messages in two minutes, which is very good for sending truth clarification messages. The cell phone package was very good, and I especially loved its case, which was made of a soft material. I then realized that love is an emotion, and I should let go of it. The practitioner from the other city then taught me how to send messages on the cell phone, but Practitioner A said, “It is not safe to send them here.”
Practitioner A said again, “You learn things very slowly, so you should wait for another practitioner to come and you two can learn together.” I was not happy to hear this, either, but I did not show my unhappiness in front of her. The practitioner from the other city said again, “This cell phone is very cheap, only 270 yuan.” She also said that the practitioner gave her three really good free batteries when she bought it from her. “Whoever likes it can have it.” she said. I loved the cell phone even more when she told me that. It was a really a good price and of good quality. Practitioner A again said to me, “Do you know how to use it? Do not buy it and then not use it.” I was very angry when I heard that. All kinds of thoughts came to my mind, but I did not show it on my face.
Master said:
“When a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly. But that is not a coincidence—it is for improving your xinxing.” Zhuan Falun
I realized that the conflict was not a coincidence and must be something related to my xinxing. I calmed down and looked within. I found that I had the attachments of strong competitiveness and resentment. I was also attached to material things and taking petty advantages and not allowing people to criticize me. I just wanted to hear something good about me. I would explode if I heard something unpleasant or that irritated me.
Just then, the practitioner said to me, “You have nothing to do, how about you learn to send multimedia messages from her?” I practiced for a while, and then Practitioner A said to me, “You can have the cell phone if you want it, but do not regret it.” I replied, “No, I won't, but I haven’t brought any money with me today. I will pay you tomorrow.” She said, “Okay, you can take it with you after another practitioner finishes learning how to use it.” I agreed and was delighted. Then Practitioner A said again, “You buy the television receiver and it will be installed at your home, but let another practitioner learn how to install it.” I merely responded with, "Hmm," and did not say anything. However, my mind was not calm anymore, and many unrighteous thoughts came up again. I thought, “Why should he learn how to install it after I buy it? It is not that I can't learn it. He should buy it if he wants to learn it.” I didn't think further as I was quite happy with the new phone and hid my attachments.
Two days later, the practitioner from the other city called me and asked me to come to her home. I was very happy, as I thought she wanted me to pick up the new cell phone. To my surprise, when I got there, Practitioner A said to me, “How about you give this cell phone to the other practitioner to use since you are going to another city? It would be better if it were used.” I didn't start to shout or argue with Practitioner A, but I was really upset. In fact, I was going to use the new cell phone to send multimedia messages in the other city. I forced myself to endure what she said, but I was really angry inside. Many unrighteous thoughts and resentments came out. I thought, “It's just because that practitioner has more money than me and is eloquent.” The practitioner said to me again, “You don't have a phone card, so give this one to her.” I became angrier than before and thought, “The phone card she uses is mine. You saw the other day I shared my card with her. Why don't you give the phone to me instead of her?” In reality, this was Master using this opportunity to remove my attachment of jealousy.
In the end, Practitioner A repeated that I should let another practitioner learn the installation after I bought it. My heart was full of anger. I thought, “You buy it, install it, learn it yourself, as I am not going to be bothered anymore. Whoever you want to give it to, go ahead. There are many projects I can do to clarify the truth and validate the Fa. My cell phone can also send messages, and I can put up posters and distribute materials to people on the street.”
I still felt resentful when I got home and sent multimedia messages from my own cell phone that afternoon. Normally, I could send more than 100 messages on my cell phone, but I only sent several dozen messages that afternoon and it took me much longer to send them out than before. I tried the new cell phone, but that did not work well either. I tried to calm down by reading Master's Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts, but could hardly do it. I realized that there was a problem in my cultivation. I then started to look inward and discovered that I had very strong attachments of jealousy, reputation, and self interest. I was also possessive, took petty advantages, and wanted to save face and show off. To put it more clearly, I was greedy and selfish, wanting something good for myself and not caring about others. I would be happy if I was at the center of things, but I would not be happy if someone was better than me. This is the principle of the old universe. I endeavored to actively remove this attachment after I realized it.
Master also arranged opportunities another few times for me to let go of my attachments. My cell phone works well now, and I can send more than a thousand messages at a time with one card. Practitioner A realized that she was wrong, and the cooperation between us improved as well.
Family Relationships Become Harmonious When Looking Within
There are four of us in my family: my husband, daughter, father-in-law, and myself. My husband has read the Dafa books, my daughter has listened to Master's lectures, and my father-in-law is a Christian and has read the Dafa book as well. However, they have not come into Dafa cultivation.
One time, my father-in-law took the Dafa book to church. All his friends thought the Fa was very good, and I helped his friends quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). For a period of time, my husband and daughter always made trouble for me. They complained that the meals I cooked were not good enough, that they were either too salty or too bland. The house was not tidy enough even though I tried very hard to do better when I came home from work. They also complained that I didn't sleep at night because I studied the Fa, thought that I had mental problems, and so on.
One day I could not endure it anymore and fought with my husband. Afterwards I realized that I did something wrong. Isn't it the Party culture that encourages you to treat others badly if they do that to you, and if they do bad things to you, you do worse to them? Master asks us to be kind to others, let alone to our family members. When I looked inward and removed my attachments, my husband's attitude changed. He even helped me to collect the dishes after meals. It was always my job to do this kind of the work since we got married, and he had never done it, as he thought it was a women's job.
Later on when I sent righteous thoughts, I had a deeper understanding of compassion, which is not only enduring, but also considering others at all times, disintegrating corruption, and promoting kindness. My husband is ruining his life when he commits wrongdoings. Why didn't I stop him? Wasn’t I afraid of upsetting people and offending them? In fact, they are my attachments of fear and seeking comfort, attachment to being happy with the status quo. It is a fundamental issue of emotion, an expression of selfishness.
Selfishness also includes indulging my children and husband. It is kindness to consider their future. There is a saying in society, which is, “Support your husband and raise your children.” I should use the Fa to evaluate myself. Master asks us to cultivate to a state with a great heart full of kindness and forbearance. It is not servile endurance that doesn't distinguish good from bad.
Just then my husband came and asked me to eat. He had stopped swearing at me since I started looking inward. Master asks us to balance well the relationship with family and society. In this area, I didn't do well, as I didn't look within deeply from the standpoint of the Fa. I did not understand why he always complained about me. It was because I often focused on others' bad habits and had negative thoughts. I didn't see his good parts. I despised him before, because he did not make enough money, and he was dirty, narrow-minded, and mean. I always admired other people's husbands and children, although I did not say this to them.
I was very proud that my daughter's grades had always been at the top of her class. So that she could get into the best university and find a better job in the future, my husband and father-in-law accompanied her when she studied. However, she failed to get into a university. I was very disappointed and took out all my frustrations on my husband and father-in-law. I criticized them, saying that they didn't look after her well enough. In reality, everyone has his or her own fate.
Master said:
“I would say that this is your wishful thinking. You are unable to interfere with the lives of others, and neither can you control others’ fates, including those of your wife, sons, daughters, parents, or brothers. Can you decide those things? Furthermore, how will you practice cultivation if you do not have any worries or troubles? How can you do the exercises comfortably and restfully? How can there be such a thing? That is what you think, from the perspective of everyday people.” (Zhuan Falun)
One time, my husband was involved in an accident on his motorbike. He told me that the other person did not observe the traffic rules when taking a sharp turn. My husband only asked for 200 yuan to repair his motorbike. He did not want to extort more money from the other person. That evening, his leg was seriously swollen, and others encouraged him to go to the hospital. He said, “It won't take long to recover.” He indeed recovered within a few days. My family has gotten many benefits since I learned Dafa. Otherwise, my husband's leg could have been fractured. Now both my husband and I go out to work, and my father-in-law cooks meals at home and waits for us to come back. This would never have happened before. In the past, however tired I was when I came home from work, I had to cook for them.
Gaining the Respect of My Colleagues and Students by Looking Inward
I changed jobs and now work in a school. It has taken me awhile to get used to the new environment. Some colleagues looked down on me. When I first came to the school, the headmaster asked me to be a custodian. I felt that I was treated unfairly. I am a teacher, so how could I be told to sweep the floor, and how could I save face? There were two people to sweep the floor at my former school, but here there was only me. I was upset. At first I did not do a proper job of cleaning because of this unfairness, however, I am a Dafa disciple, I have come here to save people and should do my job properly, even though it was sweeping the floor.
Some of my friends and colleagues suggested that I talk to the headmaster about having the teachers clean their own rooms, but I thought, “I should do my job well since I am here. It must be that some of my attachments need to be removed.” So I swept the floor earnestly. Two weeks later, I was asked to be a teacher again, and I didn’t have to bribe anyone to get the post. Some of my colleagues spent lots of money and bought presents to bribe the headmaster for their position, but they are still doing the same job.
A colleague of mine and I organized a gymnastics team for this year's sports event, but he didn't want to go out when we practiced, so I was the one who practiced outside with the students. My face got really tan. One day, we were told to go outside to practice the formation for the competition. I waited outside for a long time, but my colleague didn't come. Another colleague said, “It is not your business if he does not want to show up. Isn't he in charge? I will go call him.” So I went, too. However, he said in front of my colleagues, “One takes charge if he cares. I don't want to go.” I looked out the window, because all the students stood there waiting for us. “I am a Dafa disciple—why do I resent his behavior because I have to do more work? Isn't it an attachment to seeking reputation? I must remove it.” I went downstairs and practiced with the students. The headmaster was very moved by this and praised me many times during the game.
My colleague apologized to me the following day for not helping me. Our team won the county championship. The headmaster was very happy and again praised me profusely. My colleagues also came to respect me. They say that I have a good heart, that I am honest and brave. They like to be with me now, as do my students. They always ask me questions when they have problems, even in the subjects I don't teach, but I try my best to help them.
The Old Forces Are Threatening But Not Dangerous If One Looks Inward
The old forces exploited my gaps when I clarified the facts because of my attachments and consequntly manipulated a person who hadn't understood the truth to report me to the county police department. My colleague told me, “The headmaster and the director of the local police station both were told to go to the county police department, because you sent truth clarification letters online.” I thought this was an illusion. I had sent truth clarification letters online before, but not this year. Fellow practitioners told me that it was not safe, and my colleagues were frightened when they found out about this. I told them it would be fine, because I have Master who looks after me. I started sending forth righteous thoughts while I consoled my colleagues, and asked for Master's help. I recited quietly in my heart: “It is not allowed for the old forces to persecute people and prevent me from saving sentient beings, even though I still have some attachments. I am Master Li Hongzhi's disciple. I deny the old force’s arrangements and reject them.”
I also sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all of the old force elements that controlled the officers from the police department and domestic security division, to stop them from committing wrongdoings, and looked inward at the same time. I found that I had strong attachments of wanting to do things, fear, and being overjoyed. I kept sending righteous thoughts for half a day to eliminate the old force factors that persecute Dafa disciples. My colleagues told me later that the police looked frightened when they left the school. The police told the headmaster that they had made a mistake. Things then passed. This was Master helping me to resolve my tribulations.
It is just like Master said:
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughts,
Master has the power to turn back the tide.” (Hong Yin II)
Master worries a lot about me because I am not diligent all the time. I still have attachments to playing, seeking comfort, relying on others, and so on. But I must listen to Master, read the Fa more, and do the three things well.
Due to my limited understanding, please compassionately point out anything inappropriate.
Thank you, Master!
Thank you, fellow practitioners!
