(Clearwisdom.net) I studied the Fa one morning and went out to clarify the truth with another practitioner that afternoon. During the three hours of clarifying the truth, many of my attachments and notions were exposed. I have written about them in hopes my sharing this experience will be helpful to other practitioners.
I Should Not Distribute Truth-clarifying Materials with Human Notions
That morning one practitioner didn't attend our Fa study, so we took truth-clarifying materials to her in the afternoon. However, she was not at home. I called her, and she said she was on the train. Since she wasn't coming back for a few days, I thought it was unnecessary to leave the materials for her and decided to distribute them myself. However, I then discovered I had some worry and dissatisfaction about that practitioner. She may have been that way because of my worry and selfishness that didn't allow me to be tolerant towards fellow practitioners. I knew I needed to eliminate them!
When we distribute materials, I generally put items like the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party into transparent bags and put them into bicycle baskets or hang them on doors. For those who want to read but dare not, they can see what's inside the bag. It also shows how much I cherish the materials.
However, the materials for that practitioner were not in bags, but I still rushed to distribute them. At one busy cross-section, I wasn't careful enough when I put the materials into a bicycle basket. I didn't put them at the bottom of basket but left them standing up in the basket. People could see them from far away. I wanted to go back to re-arrange things, but my righteous thoughts were not strong enough. The practitioner with me said, “It will be fine. The evil won't see it. Let it be.”
Although that experience has passed, my not treating the materials carefully reflected my attachments of hurrying, to doing things, and to finishing the task. With such an impure heart, how could I help save sentient beings well? I thought that it was time for me to fully eliminate those attachments.
Break Through Post-natal Mentalities
Next, we went to a shoe store. I saw a computer on the store owner's desk, so I decided to give him a Shen Yun DVD. I said, “Since you have a computer, I have a Shen Yun Performing Arts video for you. It is wonderful. There are stories about the surrendering Zhubajie in Old Gao Village, beauties from heaven, little monks, and the last one is about the door to heaven being widely opened.” Then a saleswoman asked, “Is it Falun Gong?” I said, “Why don't you watch it for yourself: use your own eyes to see it and your brain to analyze it? Do not simply listen to others.” Then we walked toward the door. I looked up and saw a camera near the ceiling of the entrance, aimed at the place where I was standing and speaking. I asked the other practitioner, “Did you see that camera?” She said she hadn't but that, even if there was one, it wouldn't be able to see anything. Later, I searched inside myself and found that I still looked at myself as a human being. I couldn't regard myself as an immortal. I didn't fully believe in the Fa or Master. That camera was used to film human beings, not immortals. Thank you, Master, for helping me to uncover my deficiencies again.
Then we went to a shopping mall. After we bought some things, a service person there said there was a lucky draw and that I had won the first prize. I could buy three pieces of jewelry that same day at a discount of 900ff. I was upset. I thought, “If I buy the jewelry, it is useless to me; if I don't buy it, I have wasted a good chance.” So I asked the fellow practitioner if it was right to buy jewelry. She said it should be fine. Since I didn't need anything, I called to ask my daughter-in-law if she wanted something. I called her twice but just couldn't reach her. At that time, I was getting more and more upset. The service person saw that we were hesitating. She said it would be fine to give up the chance. I said, “OK! I'll leave the good fortune to you. I will give you two each a VCD. It is a show by Shen Yun Performing Arts. It is really wonderful.” When they asked about it, I said, “It is about our 5,000 years of divine culture.” Before I left, I told them that watching the DVD was the real fortune.
Later on, we talked about our experience: Why did I feel my heart beat fast? Why did I feel I was a thief? The fellow practitioner said she felt the same way. On my way home, I recalled that I previously thought that I couldn't be touched by any self-interest. Since 1994 when I obtained the Fa, I have never thought about winning any kind of lucky draw. Now, more than 10 years have passed, and those thoughts of pursuing self-interest still appeared! It showed that my cultivation practice is not solid enough.
Cultivation is really very serious. All these thing happened on the same day, which shocked me. Besides the attachments I mentioned above, I also saw the selfishness of protecting myself. And I do feel that Fa-rectification is really coming to the surface. We must eliminate those attachments that disturb our Fa study, sending forth righteous, or doing the exercises. And we must eliminate the disturbance brought by the demon of sleep. Now is the time to fully eliminate all attachments and totally get back on the right path. I should cherish each day Master has extended for us to complete our cultivation.
Category: Improving Oneself
