A Young Practitioner's Cultivation Experience
I am a young practitioner who has been practicing Falun Dafa since four years ago. When I started college in 2000, my mother began to tell me about Falun Dafa. I was taught atheism in school since I was little and did not believe in god, Buddha, and cultivation. I told her that cultivation and higher-level beings were for uneducated people who had not been taught science and who wanted spiritual sustenance. Compassionate Teacher arranged for me to break through my human notion and, overnight, I became a practitioner.
--By the author
Greetings revered Master. Greetings fellow practitioners.
I am a young practitioner who has been practicing Falun Dafa since four years ago. Teacher takes care of me with painstaking efforts and I can't repay Teacher's immense grace. I wish to share my cultivation experiences.
Breaking Through the Notion of Atheism and Obtaining the Fa
My father left us when I was five years old and thereafter we were in a dire situation. The difficulties put mental pressure on my mother who weakened daily and frequently fainted. Therefore I had no good night's sleep when I was little. I was in constant fear, was always unhappy, unsociable and introverted. To please my mother, I worked hard at school and had excellent grades. My mother's health didn't improve. When we fell into despair, my mother learned Falun Dafa from a practitioner. Soon she became healthy and optimistic. I was happy that she found hope and didn't think about it any further.
After I started college in 2000, my mother talked to me many times about Falun Dafa. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) regime did everything it could to ensure that we became atheists while in school. I thus had no interest in spiritual practices. I didn't believe in God, Buddha, or cultivation. I told my mother that these things were for uneducated people who hadn't been taught science and who wanted spiritual sustenance. I got impatient with my mother and I was lost in the human world for another seven years. Compassionate Teacher arranged to break through my human notions and overnight, I became a practitioner.
On January 10, 2007, I was stressed out because of the pressure from studying. My mother took me to a practitioner's house, but I felt very uneasy and wanted to leave. They insisted to keep me there overnight. That night, many practitioners were doing the exercises and asked me to join them. They had me stand at the center of the circle they formed. I was reluctant to join in, but was too shy to refuse. When I did the second exercise, with my hands above my head I became nauseated but I couldn't throw up. I felt terrible but seeing others being comfortable and peaceful, I just kept going. Shortly after, I saw dark blue in front of my eyes and the exercise music grew quiet. I passed out. According to the practitioners, my face turned from purple to completely pale. I remembered feeling icy-cold current running through me, followed by a very warm current. I vividly felt viscous liquid pouring out of my ears. When I woke up, I tried to wipe my ears and there was nothing there.
This experience touched my deeply. I read Zhuan Falun after I returned home. I don't remember when I started feeling better, but my arthritis no longer bothered me on rainy days, my chronic heartburn went away, the itchiness on my legs during hot weather and my dizziness caused by low blood sugar disappeared. A practitioner with her celestial eye open told me that when I first did the exercises an iron cage fell from heaven and caged me. A dragon-like life was forced out of my body, and later was absorbed by Teacher's Falun and torn into small pieces.
I remembered that I had a dream in 2006. An enormous golden Buddha appeared in the sky making a hand sign. I told my mother about it and she was really happy, saying that I had a predestined relationship with Falun Dafa. She had made a note of the day, January 10, the same day when I learned the exercises! I felt that I was awakened from a dream at that moment and experienced the extraordinariness of the Fa. Everything was arranged perfectly. I understood what Teacher had done for me and I cried. I told Teacher in my heart, “Master, thank you, your disciple finally obtained the Fa!”
Study the Fa and Cultivate to Improve Xinxing
Teacher stressed the importance of Fa study and since I began so late, I believed that I must be even more diligent in my Fa study. I needed to assimilate to the Fa and let go of my distorted human notions before I could melt into the Fa-rectification work. I discovered that memorizing the Fa was of great help to me. When I walked, the Fa appeared phrase by phrase in my mind. When I encountered xinxing tests, the Fa quickly reminded me and I could restrain myself. I passed tests better than before I memorized the Fa. Therefore, when I was not busy, I read through the Fa and memorized it. My mother chose to write down the Fa and read through it. We compared our experiences, so we could improve. I was a different person a month after I began the practice.
"Let each and every thing
be measured against the Fa.
Only then, with that,
is it actually cultivation.”
("Solid Cultivation," in "Hongyin")
Teacher arranges every test on our path to improve our xinxing. One day in the summer of 2009, when I returned home I felt itchiness on my face and arms, which became worse and began to spread. I looked into a mirror and noticed that my entire body was covered with red dots. In only a few minutes, the redness had covered my entire body and formed lumps that were unbearably itchy. They also were in my hair and on my eyebrows. It felt as if I was suffering from a food allergy. I thought, “Keep going, it is a great opportunity to get rid of you.” I scratched it a little and the lumps spread like wild fire. It was not too bad during the day but during the night it was unbelievably itchy and I couldn't fall asleep. Suddenly I remembered I heard when I was little that ant holes could cause dams to collapse and people would drown. I poured boiling water into an ant's nest and killed numerous ants. At the moment I felt really sad seeing them die. I repented and felt strong guilt. I was very sorry.
My mother, seeing that I did not sleep at night, suggested that I take some alternative medicine. I knew it happened for a reason and it was only right that I repay my debt. I couldn't have Teacher shoulder my karma for me. If I could repay those poor lives, I could suffer the itchiness. In fact, I felt better. Also, using alternative medicine was no different from seeing a doctor- it was avoiding suffering and not wanting to pay off the debt. I believed I could not consummate carrying the debt. I turned down my mother's suggestion and told her my reasons. Miraculously, the lumps disappeared within a few seconds, like they were sucked away from me. I realized the importance of treating issues with righteous thoughts and giving up ordinary people's way of thinking.
One time my right foot was caught in a wheel of a bike. The big toe nail was torn apart and the soft tissue became a mush of flesh. Chinese people say, “The ten fingers (toes) are connected to the heart.” An injury like this definitely was going to hurt immensely and for me it felt as if I was hit by a blunt object, a little sore and pain, not much more. I knew Teacher shouldered most of it for me, and a huge amount of karma was eliminated. I cried as I walked and told Teacher, “Master, you suffered for me again. I am not afraid of suffering the karma I accumulated in many lives. I will do my best in the practice and go home with Teacher.” The toe-nail grew back within in a week.
Opportunities to improve our xinxing can appear at any moment. In 2007, I became a graduate student in an out-of-town school. To assure that I could continue with the practice and to save money, my mother moved also. We rented a room on campus from a teacher. After we signed the contract, she had us pay 350 yuan deposit and promised to return the money if we paid the rent on time. Later my mother found another house that was more convenient and quiet and told the teacher that we would move the coming month. The teacher refused to refund the deposit, giving a number of reasons. She was unreasonable and said many unpleasant things to us. We were not wealthy and the expenses were high. We had been saving pennies and 350 yuan would cover two weeks of expenses. My mother told the teacher that she should be honest, as it was not good for her health. The person was a physical education major but looked ill and panted when she spoke. She was very stubborn and we knew it was a xinxing test for us. We left without saying much. A month later, the school informed me that an academic conference was going to be held and all students could participate for free. This had never happened before and the registration fee was 350 yuan. We hadn't lost out. Master said: "A practitioner should follow the course of nature. If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Zhuan Falun). My mother and I realized that as long as we live by the Fa principles and let go of our notions, no matter how a conflict ends, it is the best ending for a practitioner.
Assist Teacher in Fa-rectification and Clarify the Facts about Falun Dafa
I held a certain understanding of the Fa before I joined the practice because of my mother, who became a practitioner ten years before I did. I knew the importance of clarifying the facts about the persecution of Falun Gong. I began to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa a month after I became a practitioner. At first, I only talked to classmates, relatives and people whom I knew. That way, even if I made mistakes, I would not cause a negative impact. Sometimes I distributed the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and fliers about Falun Dafa. The first time I gave out a copy of the Nine Commentaries, I was with my mother. I was supposed to give it to a person on a tricycle. I was so scared that I ran off. I was very upset because I didn't do well. But I had gained something from this incident, I clearly knew that it was a result of my attachment to fear and that I must eliminate it. I must do well with this task and not avoid it. Gradually I was able to handle all kinds of situations smoothly. While a person was hurrying home on a bike, without him knowing, I had given him a copy of the truth-clarification flier. This experience laid a good foundation to quickly eliminate my fear.
While I was working on my graduate degree in September 2007, my mother and I tried to make materials at home. During the day when I was in class, she produced fliers of poems and songs from the Zhengjian (Pureinsight) website and at night, I walked to residential or public areas with heavy traffic and distributed the fliers. One time I went to a far away building. As I was about to post it, I saw on another wall with a large sign reading, “Falun Dafa is good.” Tears covered my face and my heart felt warm. Teacher arranged for me to come here, so I could save the sentient beings and help local practitioners.
Teacher arranged for us to meet the local practitioners. A practitioner gave us a printer and we began to print materials. We sent righteous thoughts close to a prison, clarified the truth in the neighborhoods, mailed letters to clarify the facts about Falun Gong, and distributed Shen Yun Performing Arts DVDs. My school followed the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) policies aggressively. Other student practitioners and I often sent righteous thoughts on campus to eliminate the evil factors that persecuted Falun Dafa. There were many surveillance cameras around the school. I asked Teacher to let the camera fail so I could put fliers in the mailboxes of the faculty and staff. One of the teachers visited Taiwan and told his students how Falun Dafa was widely spread overseas upon his return. I took the opportunity to help students quit the CCP and its affiliates. My days at the school allowed me to share and improve with the local practitioners and mature in my cultivation.
In fall 2009, I had a chance to visit a friend whom I had not seen for 6 years. She once refused to listen to the facts about Dafa. On the train, I sent righteous thoughts wanting her knowing side to know the truth. After we exchanged greetings, I let her see an Udumbara flower grow on a peach tree leaf. She looked at it again and again and was very excited. She took a picture of it. I talked to her about Chinese medicine, morality, fate, faith and lessons in history. I finally got the opportunity to tell her about the persecution. She was sympathetic. I later let her watch a truth clarification DVD and she was moved to tears. Before she got married, I went to see her again. I gave her a copy of Zhuan Falun, software to break the Internet blockade, and an exercise video. She also became a practitioner and helped many quit the CCP and its affiliates.
Before I graduated I completed an internship at a Beijing company. My mother came with me. We met a practitioner whose grandparents (practitioners) also grew up in Henan. They did not know about quitting the CCP, so I helped them. My mother worked in a kitchen and helped a lot of cooks quit the CCP.
My mother and I bought a printer after we returned home. We printed truth clarification messages on paper bills. I clarified the truth to people face to face. I tried to make everyone understand about the persecution and clear up the misunderstandings they held because of the CCP propaganda. In the long run, the effects were good and well worth it. I handed out fliers, CDs or software. Such gifts could be handed to the next person who wished to know about Falun Gong.
Once I saw a small Bodhisattva statue in a driver's truck. I explained to him that people would face retribution for persecuting Falun Gong from the angles of divine culture and cases of good being rewarded and evils being punished. He quit the CCP and its affiliates immediately. A person next to him disagreed and said, “No matter how well you can talk, you still need to eat,” meaning that making money was more important. Meanwhile several people joined our conversation. I believed they came to be saved and I needed to let them understand the truth. I said, “I did not say that you can't make money if you listen to me. It is important that people eat and make a living. The rich people have good fortune and that makes them rich. It is precisely having good fortune makes people carefree. Everyone wants to have good fortune, but do you know how to get it?” Everyone was all ears and urged me to provide the answer. “You see the answer is already in the character 'fu (good fortune)' if you know about the divine culture. Isn't the left part of it 'god'? It means that to have good fortune, you must follow the guidance of the divine and when you have faith, you will be blessed. The right part of it contains 'a rice field,' meaning having wealth and having food. And why do divine blessings precede wealth? Being blessed by the divine is the basis for our lives. Without the basis of life, you might not be able to spend the money you have.” Everyone nodded his head and began to think. I continued, “You can't look at the superficial manifestations of things, especially in a society where right and wrong are mixed up and morality is deteriorating. Everyone thinks personal gain is the most important; everyone believes what's said on TV. Why do you believe in things that you don't know if it is true or not?” Everyone was quietly listening. I talked about the reasons for natural and man-made disasters and lessons in history. I then talked about the spreading of Falun Dafa, the truth about the staged self-immolation on Tiananmen Square, and how people can save themselves. I answered questions. More and more people gathered to listen to me and some of the passersby including a breakfast shop owner understood the truth.
I gave out fliers as I talked. Those people who came later did not understand what I was talking about, therefore I kept repeating key facts of the truth about Falun Gong. A young man smiled at me and told me that he heard me talking about the truth before and had quit the CCP and its affiliates. He was happy to see me again. As I was repeating what I said earlier to those who came later, the young man and some others who had heard the facts about Falun Gong earlier helped me repeat the information, which saved me a lot of time. They helped me validate the Fa and many passersby were convinced by what I had to say. Some people who were afraid at first came to listen and took the flier. A few people who believed in the CCP's propaganda and argued with us were made fun off by those who were saved. In less than two hours, all the fliers I had were gone and many quit the CCP.
One time I talked to several construction workers about the persecution. A CCP member tried to drive me away saying that he could not listen to the 'anti-CCP talk.' It did not bother me. I gave everyone there a flier. I told them I would not leave and I would answer if they had any questions. The CCP member asked for a flier and began reading. They read as I talked. The CCP member finished reading first and told me that he would quit the CCP after he had memorized the content of the flier. I knew Teacher helped me break the ice. I quickly said to the CCP member that the CCP was a sinking ship about to be weeded out by history and knowing the truth and quitting the CCP and its affiliates was the only ferry to the dock. He agreed to quit the CCP right then and was very happy.
Many of them asked me to keep talking. Some of them had read the truth clarification materials and some had listened to other practitioners. I told them real stories of how Falun Dafa purified people's heart and improved people's moral level. They all had a positive understanding of the Fa. They fought for the amulets (1) I handed out and they all hung them around their necks. Their supervisor told me with a smile, “Our driver makes 700 yuan (US$100) per trip. He prefers listening to you than earning that money.” One who had quit the CCP said, “Long live Falun Dafa. We will be the Falun Dafa supporting group from now on. I will have them all wear the amulets.” Before I left, I gave them some truth clarification CDs so that they could let their families know the truth.
Clarifying the truth face to face not only brings out the full use of the truth clarification materials, it also eliminates the fear the evil CCP forced on people. People will understand that practitioners are saving them openly and nobly. One time a person tried to rush off when I was about to tell him the facts about Falun Gong. He told me he wanted to listen, but was scared. I noticed then that his head was covered in sweat. I knew I shook the evil elements behind him. I smiled and told him the truth from the aspects of the law, the right to information, human rights and current events. He quickly accepted what I had to say.
Later I ran into five people and tried to give them some pamphlets. One of them who looked like a village official wouldn't take it and told me that it was against the law. Others refused to take the pamphlets as soon as he said that. I immediately asked him, “Honestly, tell me, who makes the law in China? Are the laws righteous and fair or are they for certain people's benefits and for them to bully people?” He was silent. I asked them to think about their lives in China, “Do you think you are safe when it comes to food, transportation, and the houses you live in” There are so many unjust and misjudged legal cases, poisonous food products, phony news, and cases of corruption. What causes society to punish the good and reward the bad?” They agreed with me. I then told them about the principles of Falun Dafa and how Dafa teaches the practitioners to be good people.
The village official kept on interrupting me and criticizing Dafa and Teacher. I sent righteous thoughts while I tried to counter each untrue accusation. The other four people, with their knowing sides, did not believe the official and asked him to “step aside and rest.” One of them told me, “I used to think Falun Gong is like what it says on TV and had misunderstandings. From what you said, the practice seems really good.” They began to discuss and agreed with Dafa's principles. The village official tried to defame me by saying that I was paid more than 5,000 yuan (US$700) a month to talk to people and the payment came from overseas. I told him that if I did not practice Dafa, I would not talk to them since they were strangers to me. As long as I was safe, why would I care about them? I told them that Dafa required me to be selfless and altruistic and to ensure their safety, I saved every penny and risked my life to tell them the facts.
They were very moved and started to defend me and said that I was a very courageous young girl. I told the village official, “You may not believe me, but for your sake, you should not say bad things, especially about divine beings and those who believe in them. You will be held responsible for whatever you say.” The official said nothing more after that.
That morning, many people heard the truth and quit the CCP and its affiliates. They asked for CDs, pamphlets, and software to break Internet blockade. A person told me, “This is the first time in my life to come across a person so brave and who dares to speak the truth. Really, I have never seen anyone like you.” I told him that it was because I was a Falun Dafa practitioner.
Of course, I also came across those who could not accept what I said or those who berated me. As long as I had righteous thoughts and knew my mission as a practitioner of the Fa rectification, I was able to take care of the situation. There are many miraculous and touching stories I experienced over the past four years. They are all due to Teacher's immense compassion. I can only repay Teacher's enormous grace by progressing diligently on my path of cultivation. I will not let Teacher and sentient beings down.
Note: (1) Amulets – In China, practitioners sometimes "clarify the truth" by giving people something small to wear or cherish, bearing a few words reminding them of the goodness of Dafa.