Giving Up Self and Harmonizing with the Group
Greeting, fellow practitioners!
The annual Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China has reconvened. Looking back at my cultivation experiences this past year, I have mixed emotions regarding some shortcomings and lessons. In order to do better in the future and improve quickly, I've summarized my cultivation experiences for Master and sharing with fellow practitioners.
Giving Up Self and Harmonizing with the Group
I was influenced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture from my early years, and protected myself unknowingly due to selfishness. When I heard that a fellow practitioner was in trouble, the first thing that came to mind was to quit communicating with him in order to avoid being implicated. When I see others' shortcomings, I would keep quiet. That way, he/she would not have an opportunity to argue with me. Whenever I was criticized, I'd find excuses for my problem instead of looking inward; sometimes I'd even lie. Once I realized that I'd lied, I was surprised at myself. One time, a senior practitioner came to pick up some truth clarification material, and told me that her 12 or 13-year-old granddaughter wanted to come with her. However, she told her granddaughter that I didn't want her to come. I even said, “You should tell her that I moved.” In fact, her granddaughter had come the time before and followed me into another room. She said, “You have a PC!” I was so scared, that the VCDs in my hand scattered on the cabinet. I thought it would be bad if she told others about this. The PC was frozen, so I couldn't power it down. The next day, the PC still showed the blue, blank screen. I didn't look inwards, but instead blamed this problem on the senior practitioner for bringing her granddaughter with her. I had to locate a practitioner who knew could fix the computer. Later, I talked with the senior practitioner and said that she could bring the child to my home on normal occasions, but not when she came to pick up the truth clarification material—for reasons of safety. The senior practitioner said “Not a big deal. There is nothing to be afraid of.” I knew that my attachment of fear had surfaced. I studied the Falun Dafa teachings more and tried to eliminate the attachment.
My husband is also a practitioner and asked me immediately “How could you lie?” I covered my mouth with my hand. I was shocked that I'd lied. I was influenced by the CCP's culture so deeply that protecting myself had become a habit, and I'd lied without even realizing it. How could I still be like that after ten years of cultivation practice? I felt ashamed. Teacher wants us to improve as a whole body. How can I form one body with others with this mindset, habits, and human notions mixed with selfishness? When things happen, I first protect myself and don't evaluate it with the Fa. Isn't this a non-practitioner's behavior?
I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, I must eliminate those bad things. I need to control myself and form one body with others.
On the evening of the day before yesterday, I took truth clarification media to a fellow practitioner’s home. I noticed that she was nervous, and she pulled me into a room and whispered “A senior practitioner from our Fa study group didn't come home from clarifying the facts about Falun Gong. Her daughter (a non-practitioner) called several times. Her family is quite concerned and said she was arrested in a similar situation like this before.” We are one body, so her problem was my problem. I tried to calm down and said, “Send righteous thoughts to strengthen the fellow practitioner, eliminate the evil, and rescue her. If her daughter calls again, please get her phone number.” We didn't know where she lived. The following evening, the practitioner came and said, “I moved my Dafa books to another place. I met her daughter. She said her mother was arrested by the local police and taken to the detention center that evening.” When the daughter visited the arrested practitioner, the first thing her mother said was, “Take good care of my belongings.” Her daughter complained that her mother hadn't reported her name to the police. Otherwise, she could've been released the night before. She was angry, and put her mother's belongings on a bike and threatened to dump them into the river. I was surprised and said, “We have to protect the Dafa books, PC, and printers that we use to save sentient beings. We can't let her daughter commit crimes against Dafa!” I discussed this with my family and decided to find her daughter, in order to move her mother's things to another place, subsequently relieving her of this pressure.
We found her home, which was located next to the police station. I sent these righteous thoughts: “We are Dafa practitioners doing the most righteous things. No one dares to persecute us. Whoever does, commits a crime. Master is protecting us.” We arrived at her place just after 9:00 p.m., but her daughter refused to open the door for us. The next day, we began to make plans to rescue our fellow practitioner. During this process, we eliminated some human notions. Actually, Master took the bad things away from us that existed in another dimension once he saw that we had righteous thoughts. Thank you, Master. I experienced, again, the wonderful feeling of letting go of self interest and forming one body while writing this article.
Letting Go of Self-interest and Forming One Body While Teaching PC Skills
A coordinator asked me to teach a fellow practitioner how to produce truth clarification materials. From past lessons, I realized that this was also cultivation. I shouldn't be afraid of wasting time and should help the fellow practitioner to master the skills required to help save sentient beings. I asked her to operate the equipment herself and then take notes later. I taught her one step; she practiced it and then wrote her notes. I said, “No hurry, take good notes.” She worked very hard and learned quickly. She then practiced the process several times according to her notes. I just watched and helped out when required. I told her that she needed to practice more to master the process. Just like that, a small flower silently blossomed.
I often went there to check her progress. Sometimes, I helped out with small problems. Once, she said, “I can't get online anymore.” Right after I entered the door, I turned the computer on and saw several downloaded documents. I tried for a while, but it didn't work. I knew that I'd forgotten to share with her the purpose of getting online from the perspective of cultivation and based on the principles of the Fa. I didn't do well. I explained that the Minghui website (the Chinese version of Clearwisdom) was a Falun Dafa practitioners' website and that Master was watching it. I told her that The Epoch Times and other websites were for everyday people. I didn't know if she could accept that. Finally, I said, “I don't know how to fix this. We need to ask practitioners who have the technical skills to help. Maybe the operating system has to be reinstalled.” She asked, “Can we find those practitioners?” I replied, “I don't know where to find them.” She became anxious and complained about the coordinator, “She always brings people to my place. When I have issues, I can't find anyone to help me. She doesn't answer my calls either.” After hearing this, I thought that I should leave before she complained about me. I comforted her but didn't help. I found the coordinator later and explained the situation. The coordinator came over and told me, “She said that she saw a police vehicle near her home. She was afraid because you brought her the attachment of fear.” I was shocked and said, “Oh, I shouldn't go there anymore. I didn't cultivate well and I've also affected a fellow practitioner.” The coordinator replied, “You don't look inwards.” That was true—it was time for me to look inwards.
I calmed down and thought about it. Could this be a coincidence? I sat down to study the Fa.
“If a Dafa disciple's heart is unsteady, it will cause changes in his or her surroundings. When you have fear, for instance, you will find that the sentient beings around you are not quite right. When you change such that your presence is refreshing and uplifting to people, and your mind becomes broad and full of optimism, you will find the things around you to be correspondingly different.” (Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference).
I looked inward and realized that I did have the attachment of fear. This practitioner was previously persecuted. My heart beat fast when I went to her place. I understood that my field wasn't clear. How could I do well with the attachment of the fear? I began sending righteous thoughts. I did this several times, until my fear was gone. Later, we cooperated very well. The truth clarification materials production went well too, because I did it with righteous thoughts.
Several senior practitioners often had problems with their computers. I could help with the small problems but not the big ones. Sometimes, I couldn't fix them, even after spending a lot of time. It might have been that the operating system needed to be reinstalled. There are many truth clarification materials sites. Many practitioners have computers, but only a few have professional skills. They are very busy and live far away from us. Each round trip takes about four hours. I decided to learn how to reinstall the operating system and asked a practitioner with that skill to come to my home and teach me. I wrote down each step as she taught me. Before she left, she told me that I needed more practice. However, I didn't dare to practice, because if I didn't do it right, then my own computer might not work, preventing me from making truth clarification materials. My husband, who is also a practitioner, said, “We can't waste time on producing truth clarification materials. We have some money, so let's buy a computer to practice on!” I was very touched by his support.
Although I was worried about how to buy a computer, the coordinator came over and was happy to learn that I had planned to buy a computer to practice on. She asked a technical practitioner to help me. I got the computer quickly. Master saw I had the wish to develop skills and arranged everything for me. Thank you, Master! However, I had to stop in the middle because I didn't remember what to do next. I was very anxious and called the practitioner for help, but she didn't answer her phone. Master is always close to us. I learned how to reinstall a computer the second time. The technical practitioner asked me to do it myself and to take notes at the same time. Soon after I'd mastered the skill, a fellow practitioner couldn't get online. Seeing how anxious she was, I tried to reinstall her PC's operating system and succeeded. The computer has been working well for several month since then.
Even fixing a printer can be a cultivation process. The technical practitioners are very busy since there are many truth clarification material sites in the area. The coordinator invited a technical practitioner from another city to teach us how to maintain the printers. My husband (who became a practitioner recently) decided to learn. He paid attention and has some mechanical background, so he learned quickly. The training took four days. He then told me, “I learned the techniques because I want to assist Master in Fa rectification and saving sentient beings. I not only learned how to fix the printers, but the problem I had with my right hand was cured, too. For a while, my hand was numb and I couldn't hold my palm up straight. I thank Master. I must be diligent.” I was very happy to hear that.
Eliminating the Attachments of Not Taking Criticism and Improving Quickly
Yesterday Practitioner A and a technical practitioner bought a computer for Practitioner B and took it to her home. Since she wasn't home, they brought it to me. I heard the doorbell and opened the door. I saw the big box and immediately went over to try to get it. Practitioner A said, “Hurry up!” The technical practitioner said, “What you are doing?” I didn't say anything and put the box inside. Usually, the technical practitioner doesn't have time to eat when she comes in the afternoon. I went to prepare a meal as usual. Practitioner A asked me for Practitioner B's phone number. For security reasons, I encrypted the contact information. I handed her a paper and pen and tried to read it to her, but she thought that I was too slow. She said, “Is this her number?” I answered “Yes.” She said, "Why isn't her name here?” I replied, “I never asked her for her name, even though I've known her for several years. I don't know whether the name you used is her true name or not. For security reasons, I assigned her a name that I would recognize.” She was impatient and said, “You have too many issues.” I felt uncomfortable with her comment. Looking inwards, my human notions were stirred up. I needed to get rid of them.
As I was cooking, I asked Master to help me to eliminate the attachment of not being able to take criticism. I brought the last dish of food from the kitchen and said, “Let's eat.” Practitioner A picked up her bag and said, “Why do we have to eat your food?” Then she left with the technical practitioner. I almost cried—what did I do wrong? I calmed down and sent them away politely.
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve. Accordingly, his mind cannot get over it and is still bothered by it.” (Zhuan Falun)
Holding back my tears, I said, “Today, I needed to eliminate the attachments of not taking criticism. I will use this opportunity to improve. Practitioner A is very busy. She gets home late every day. Her husband was hospitalized recently. I should be tolerant of her.” I felt better when I thought of this. Actually, Master took the bad things from me. I shared with my husband later. He couldn't stand it and said, “Don't invite her to eat next time. She went too far!” I said, “Don't blame her. She works very hard every day. I didn't do well. Master said:
'I have thus said before that Dafa disciples, being cultivators, should view problems in the opposite manner from how human beings do. Some people are unhappy when they meet with unpleasant things. Then aren’t you a human being? How are you any different? When you encounter unpleasant things, it is precisely time to cultivate yourself, to cultivate your mind.'” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa” from “Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
My husband smiled.
I started a new project this summer—making small CDs to break through the Internet blockade. According to sharing from the Minghui website, it's a very effective means for saving people. Many young people and some elderly people know how to get online. The CDs will help them to see the information they can't usually access in mainland China. They can learn the truth about Falun Gong and be saved. I thought that this was a good thing to do and wanted to learn the skill, so I invited the technical practitioner to teach me. I learned very carefully and took notes. I mastered the skill quickly. Whenever I see that the FreeGate software is updated, I will then make CDs and distribute them to another practitioner who can duplicate the CDs. I also make CDs for practitioners or hand them out. The results have been really good.
Recalling my many years of cultivation, I gradually became mature with Master's continuous and painstaking care. All my achievements are due to Master, and I just carry things out in this human world. I did what a Falun Dafa practitioner should do. I still need to let go of many shortcomings and attachments. I must study the Fa more and remember every moment, that I am a Dafa disciple. I will measure everything based on the Fa principles and do the three things well to fulfill my prehistoric vows and reach consummation to follow Master.