Reminding Myself that Master Is Right by My Side
Greetings, Revered Master!
Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a cultivator of Falun Dafa. Over a dozen years of cultivation, one feeling that has been etched in my heart is that when I am passing a painful test or encountering tribulations, as soon as I thought how Master was right beside me, I would immediately feel warm, my feet felt like they were standing on solid ground again, and my mind would be at peace. I would find myself, find out what my mistakes were, see through the illusions, negate the arrangements by the old forces, and stabilize my righteous thoughts. My gratitude to and reliance on Master would pour forth from the bottom of my heart, and there is more that I cannot begin to describe.
I have never met Master, not even once. That had become my greatest regret. Every time I heard fellow practitioners talk about attending Master's seminars, envy filled my heart. I regretted that I had obtained the Fa so late. When I heard that Master had relocated overseas, I had an even deeper sense of loss knowing that chances were even slimmer to meet Master. However, Master made it clear in Fa lectures, “But although you can’t see me in person, as long as you practice cultivation, I’m actually right by your side.” (“Teaching the Fa in New York City”) As my cultivation progressed, I had numerous magnificent experiences, which allowed me to feel that Master is right beside me.
Before I finished reading Zhuan Falun for the first time, Master had started cleansing my body. My whole body swelled. I felt dizzy and cold. I felt sore and ached all over. I was sweating and had diarrhea. However, I did not feel weak. Instead, I felt relaxed. Also, I felt very hungry, a feeling I had not had for several years. In about two weeks, a dozen or so illnesses disappeared, including high blood pressure, atrial fibrillation, angioneurotic headaches, atrophic gastritis, pyelonephritis with blood in the urine, failure of both kidneys, and bone hyperplasia in the spine, all of which had accompanied me for much of my adult life despite constant medical treatment. I had been having a hard time doing household chores as well as eating and sleeping well. Suddenly I no longer felt weak. I was able to do anything. My body felt warm and light. I went to the practice site every morning and joined group Fa study every night. There was no interruption, whatever the weather. When I walked in complete darkness at night, I could clearly see the small trails. When walking by ruins, forests, or railroad crossings, I had no sense of fear. I felt Master was right next to me, protecting me. In two accidents that could have claimed my life, I emerged unscathed as a result of Master's protection.
When the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I really did not understand why the CCP would do such a thing. Master and Dafa are so righteous. I felt wronged and was angered. I was illegally detained in two places for speaking out for Dafa publicly. I was not intimidated. I talked about my own experiences and told others about the magnificence of Falun Dafa. After I was released, I distributed and mailed truth clarification leaflets and gave copies of Master's recently published articles to practitioners who couldn't get them on their own. With hints from Master and help from practitioners, I was able to set up a family production site for Falun Dafa materials, which met the needs of nearby fellow practitioners in their efforts to spread the facts. We have walked the path of validating the Fa despite difficulty and danger.
Master told us, “In order for Dafa disciples to walk their paths well and do the three things well, they must study the Fa well and take Fa-study seriously.” (“To the Australia Fa Conference”) Yet it is not easy to study the Fa well. Human attachments often cause trouble. Things that I should not be attached to often took time out of Fa study time or disturbed my mind during Fa study sessions. Sometimes I had to force myself to devote two to three hours to study one or two lectures in Zhuan Falun. After a while, I was able to regularly study the Fa and was able to calm my mind. The more I studied, the less sleepy or hungry and the more energetic I felt. Every time I was able to study the Fa well, tribulations would diminish, compassion would fill my mind, righteous thoughts would remain strong, and others would be willing to accept the facts and resolve all sorts of karmic relations.
Besides the four daily set times for sending forth righteous thoughts, if I am at home on the hour, I will send forth righteous thoughts then, too. I have become accustomed to sending forth righteous thoughts before leaving home and again when I arrive at my destination. If there is no chance to tell others the facts about Falun Dafa, I still send forth righteous thoughts to leave behind compassion for whichever individual I encounter, just as Master has told us to do. Master has constantly guided me with profound Fa principles as well as specific hints through the transformation of things around me. Master has cared for and guided me every step along the way.
There have been so many instances. I will only mention two recent ones to share with fellow practitioners.
1. Reminding Myself That Master Is Right by My Side
When I first used paper bills with truth clarification messages written on them, my human notions would come forth. In shops, supermarkets, post offices, hospitals, and farm markets, these truth clarification bills are everywhere. By now, many people have accepted them and acknowledged having seen them. Sometimes I received several truth clarification bills in change.
On one occasion, I went to the post office to mail a parcel. When I was in line, I saw the clerk at the window first run each bill through the money detector and then examine each one carefully with his eyes. Apparently he was trying to see if the bills had anything written on them. It occurred to me that all the bills I carried had handwritten statements. (I originally printed statements on the bills. Later I found out the printing faded quickly, so I have been writing on the bills by hand for years.) I sent forth righteous thoughts as usual, to clear the dimensional fields as well as the evil factors behind each life, so all sentient beings could conform to Dafa to be saved.
When it was my turn, I was thinking that I could use a large bill to get some change, which I needed. But on second thought, Master has asked us not to miss any single opportunity to save people. I took out a lot of smaller bills while sending forth righteous thoughts so that he could pass them to others when giving out change. After he ran the bills through the money detector, he laid each bill on the table and read carefully what was written on them. I got a little anxious as I was filling in my name, telephone number, and address, but I immediately negated this worry. I reminded myself that Master was right next to me. What I did was the most righteous thing. The evil could not interfere. My heart calmed down. In the end, I asked him how long it would take the parcel to be delivered. He told me it would take about 15 days.
On my way home, I still had some thoughts that were not that righteous, but they were rather weak. I felt clearly that the old forces and dark minions were interfering. I asked myself, “Are you afraid? Are you worried?” The answer was, “No,” because I believe firmly Master is right by my side. Without Master's caring protection, there will be nothing left of disciples.
One day, I gave a Shen Yun Performing Arts DVD to a middle aged lady. She thanked me profusely. I was quite pleased. Upon returning home, I saw police vehicles in the community, which followed me to the building where I live. I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate all evil factors behind them and asked Master to strengthen me. The disorderly thoughts in my mind immediately weakened. After getting home, I realized that I paid too much attention to everyday people's reactions to my spreading the facts and giving out Shen Yun DVDs. My heart fluctuated with theirs. On my way home, I kept thinking of the pleasing outcomes but failed to continue to send forth righteous thoughts to clear their dimensional fields. I was treating this as accomplishing everyday people's tasks. After I located the problem with Master's strengthening, the entire dimensional field was cleaned out. I had no more worries.
One weekend I went to a large market. I first handed out materials and then bought what I needed. I used paper bills with truth clarification messages written on them as usual. I talked to a cashier, who told me that she had not joined any Chinese Communist Party (CCP) organizations. I told her, “Remember Falun Dafa is good, and under extreme circumstances this will save your life.” But it was getting close to the time when the other stores were closing, and I did not explain things as fully as I would have liked.
When I was leaving the market and heading to another store to continue to clarify the facts, I noticed a man following me. My instincts told me that he worked for the market police office. When he was staring at me, I looked right into his eyes while sending righteous thoughts. I acted as though he had nothing to do with me. After I left the market, I recalled what Master said, “Under trying circumstances of any type, you must all keep steady in thought. Just by staying unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S.”) I am a Dafa disciple, and Master is right by my side. I am saving people. No life can interfere.”
Later I went to a supermarket to buy something. At first things were all right. When I was heading to the cashier, I spotted two suspicious men watching me closely. As I approached the cashier, one stood behind me and the other stood next to me. I thought of being arrested. I immediately calmed down to negate this thought and asked Master to strengthen me. With Master right by my side, what is there to fear? I sent out a thought not to let these men assist the evil so that they could position themselves well for their future. I paid the cashier and left the store calmly.
I inspected myself on my way home: No one can touch Dafa disciples. But why could the evil keep interfering? I realized that I had not developed compassion after so many years of cultivation. When I did things, I did not remain calm. I cut myself too much slack and did not do the exercises on time. I was also attached to a TV show. I did not keep up strong righteous thoughts and acknowledged the idea that there was danger when I did something the evil was not happy about. I took this wrong idea as my own idea. When clarifying the truth to people, I failed to tell them openly that I was a Dafa disciple and often spoke from the perspective of a bystander. I realized that these thoughts definitely would weaken a righteous mind, which would open up gaps for the evil factors to take advantage of, which almost resulted in damage to Dafa.
2. Without Master's Caring Protection, I, As a Disciple, Could Hardly Move a Single Step Forward
I am pretty much the only one using the personal computer at home. On two occasions it broke down. No matter how I tried, I could not get online. I asked for a new code from the telephone company. It did not help. Fellow practitioners who knew technology took a look and could not fix it either.
In the end I thought that my Fa equipment must be related to my xinxing, and it won't work by relying on what worked for others. I was ashamed of my reliance on others. I was so far behind when compared to fellow practitioners although I had cultivated in the same Fa for over a dozen years. Even before the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I relied too much on fellow practitioners' advice. I tended to learn from other practitioners while not learning what to do based on the Fa. I worried too much when interacting with fellow practitioners. My suspicion of practitioners set up a barrier for myself because, in doing so, I acknowledged the danger imposed by the evil factors. Sometimes I looked down on my husband, who is not a practitioner. I often argued with him when he pointed out my problems. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “...as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted.” (Zhuan Falun) How can I be a cultivator if I have not met this basic requirement?
After I found these things, I sent forth strong righteous thoughts: “I don't want any of them. I cannot allow them to occupy my dimensional field. I must negate the arrangements of the old forces completely.” I reminded myself that Master is right by my side. I asked Master for strengthening and made up my mind to do well. As a result, all my prior worries were swept away. I could feel there was no problem with the computer. When I turned it on, it connected to the Internet, and everything went back to normal.
On another occasion, the computer would not turn on. When I took it to the distributor and followed their instructions to clean it up and tighten up the parts, it still did not work. A fellow practitioner who knew about computers could not fix it either. He advised me to change to a notebook computer. I had been using the one I had for several years and did not want to give up. I thought maybe I should take it to the distributor for a final try. I had not been able to get online for a couple weeks.
Suddenly I realized that I was the cause. I had to negate all this and search within. In the previous few weeks, I had been too strongly attached to sentiments and gotten myself entangled in issues among those on my parents' side of the family and relatives. I also got carried away by human affairs. Everyday after downloading contents from the Minghui website's home page (the Chinese edition of Clearwisdom), I browsed other things that interested me on everyday people's sites. I fell into the state of an everyday person and slackened off in doing the three things.
Then I realized Master was right by my side. I felt so ashamed. Master has told us that everyday and everything that we encounter today will not be repeated. Fellow practitioners have poured their hearts into validating the Fa. What had I been doing?
I begged Master for forgiveness. I could feel Master's mercy at that moment. I put the computer back where it had been and it turned on! I was then able to reconnect to the Internet! Everything went back to normal. Tears came to my eyes. How could I face Master if I held on to so many attachments?
Despite my trying to get rid of these attachments, some other attachments surfaced, those associated with comfort and ease. The demon of sleepiness took hold of me. Non-practitioners often say that sleep is the most enjoyable thing. But as a cultivator, I know things work exactly the opposite way.
Within the big dye vat of today's world, to cultivate in order to emerge from all the destructive persecution, I have to follow Master's words. Master said, “Everything that ordinary people seek; everything that ordinary people want to gain; everything that ordinary people act on, say, and do—all of this is, for you, what needs to be cultivated away.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”) Only by rectifying each single thought of mine can I resist everything with diamond-like, solid righteous thoughts.
Looking back at my cultivation path, without Master's caring protection, as a disciple, I wouldn't have been able to move a single step forward, much less accomplish anything. All that has been accomplished was done by Master. Every time I have asked Master for strengthening, I had no other thoughts except the firm belief that Master would take care of me. Every time, danger was averted.
Up until now, I have only thought about Master when I've run into difficulties. If I can constantly remind myself that Master is by my side every step along the way, and constantly remember that I am a Dafa disciple, then I can better carry out what Master wants and save more sentient beings.
Let me again thank Master! Let me thank fellow practitioners, and please point out any deficiencies. Heshi!