I Have Never Regretted Cultivating Dafa Despite Persecution
(Clearwisdom.net) Everyone around me heard about the miraculous disappearance of my illness after I began practicing Falun Dafa. Despite the fact that I was arrested and persecuted more than once, forced to divorce my husband, lost my mother who loved me dearly, lost my nice job and wages, and lost some friends who did not know the true situation about Falun Gong and the persecution, I have never regretted the path I have chosen. Rather, I believe that my decision to cultivate Falun Dafa is the best choice I've ever made in my life.
1. Dafa Renewed My Life When I was Dying from Illness
I learned Dafa in 1997. I had suffered from many illnesses over the preceding twenty years. My life was truly miserable. The worst was my liver problem. It hurt terribly and caused me lack of sleep. I had to clench my fists in order to fall asleep. I also had the remnants of tuberculosis which made me cough for a month or so once or twice a year. The worst was the rheumatoid nodules. I could not eat anything cold and had to keep myself warm. With prolonged suffering from my illnesses, my mental character became distorted. Relations with my husband soured and made me unbearably humiliated. I went into despair and wished to die. But in the beginning of 1997, I was fortunate to learn about Dafa. I was saved.
After I learned Dafa, I followed Teacher’s requirement to study hard, elevate my xinxing, and practice the exercises. A month later, my health improved dramatically. I recovered to my normal weight and got the color back in my face. I became pleasant and people thought that I was looking younger and prettier. Friends, neighbors, and relatives all marveled at my progress. Some of them joined the practice as a result.
2. Letting Go of Attachments; Unafraid of the Threat of Persecution
These good moments did not last. With the onset of Jiang Zemin’s persecution of Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999, the pressure from my family and workplace became unbearable. But my mind was clear. I knew I had no choice but to follow Teacher to the end. So I have stumbled along and survived. In the process, despite the fact that I was arrested and persecuted more than once, forced to divorce, lost my mother who loved me the most, lost my nice job and wages, and lost some friends who did not know the facts, I have no regrets about it. Rather, I felt that cultivation of Dafa was the best decision in my life.
Immediately following July 20, 1999, was the worst period of the persecution of Falun Dafa by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). But it was the most glorious period of practitioners’ validating Dafa. I grasped every opportunity to do what a practitioner needed to do. I hollered, “Falun Dafa is righteous” in front of dozens of foreigners and many Chinese in Tiananmen Square. The police did not stop me from crying out, but two guards did grab the Falun Gong banner I was displaying away from me. Nineteen days later, I returned to Tiananmen Square to appeal again. I sat down and meditated. The police arrested me and took me to the police station, but I refused to cooperate with them and was able to return home that night.
To tell the truth, at that time, practitioners were ready to give up everything. One day in 2000, I heard that the local Chinese Communist Party (CCP) organization had called an emergency meeting to discuss how to deal with Falun Gong. It was determined that there was only one conclusion, “Falun Gong is remarkable. Practitioners are not afraid of losing jobs, being forced to divorce, or being sent to prison. The CCP is doomed.” Indeed, I have never succumbed to the CCP. One officer advised me to be a bit flexible. I said to him, “Why? Cultivating Dafa is the most righteous. Why should I bend?”
During all the sufferings, the worst was the relationship with my mother. In trying to help save my own interest, she once knelt in front of me for over an hour. Unable to hold her up, I said to her, “Then why don’t you remained kneeling. You are kneeling to my Teacher. In the past when my health was poor, you worried about me and could not fall asleep. But you were unable to save me. Now my illnesses are all healed thanks to my cultivation of Dafa. Instead of urging me to be grateful and appeal for Dafa, you want me to be someone selling out his savior. You should kneel to my Teacher.” An hour later, she got up without being upset at me. She knows that Dafa is good and just did not know what to do.
Later, she cried hard when she realized that my marriage could not be saved. She knew that I was persecuted and helpless, she often wept quietly. Eventually she got sick and died of cancer in 2004. Her passing impacted me greatly. For half a month, I rested my face down on the table and did not want to open my eyes. Just like Teacher said, “This person grieves so much that he almost wants to follow her for the rest of his life.”(Zhuan Falun). Finally one day, I felt it was not right, “I am a Dafa disciple. The evil did not knock me down. How can I knock myself down? Whom do I exist for?” I suddenly woke up. Realizing my huge responsibility, I got up and joined the practitioners to tell people the facts and save sentient beings.
3. Resolving People’s Questions and Saving Them
I focus on telling people the facts face-to-face.
a. Grasp every opportunity to save people. During festivals, or at friends' or relatives’ weddings, my first reaction when I got the invitation was that I needed to save people. I also talk to whomever I met: waiters in restaurants, taxi drivers, and repairmen. A few years ago, I got a dozen people to quit the CCP and its associated organizations when I had my hair done at a salon.
b. Finding the right moment to tell people the facts and save them— The main responsibility of my job is dealing with people. One day, I met a young lady less than 30 years old. At first, she kept quiet when I told her the facts about Falun Gong. When I learned that she lived near Tiananmen Square, I told her that during the Tiananmen Square Massacre in 1989 that the CCP killed many college students and later denied what had happened. She agreed and said, “True. I wasn’t ten years old yet. But that night was horrific.” Afterward, she believed what I told her and agreed to quit the CCP.
c. Forget past grievances and save people
During the time when I was arrested, my in-laws got my husband to divorce me. My husband and I had good relationship before. Because my poor health, I gave up my career and devoted all my effort to help my husband through the worst moment of his life. He got a promotion later, but he deserted me when I most needed him.
When my mother-in-law was dying, I went to see her. I told her to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” She lived two more months. During that time, I was calm and had no resentment. The only thought I had was to save people. I talked to my sister-in-law who was also involved in my divorce. But I was no longer upset with her. I told her, “Let bygones be bygones. I hope you have a peaceful and nice future. Would you please quit the evil party?” She suddenly began to cry and said, “Sure. I will. I will.” Seeing that she was truly touched, I felt calm and content.
In the past ten years, no matter how hard the situation was, I never regretted it. Experiencing many tribulations made me more mature. My attachments have become less and less. I have truly enlightened to what Teacher said,
“When you are overcoming a real hardship or tribulation, you try it. When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find, 'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'” (Zhuan Falun)
Please kindly point out my deficiencies. Thank you Teacher. Thank you fellow practitioners.